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Sorry. I think you are both too young to be getting all involved physically or emotionally. It's obvious to me that you are trying to establish something with a girl who gets upset on a whim.
Today the world is into this "booty call" and "friends with benefits" thingy. I never had that growing up. You had to get to know her, take her out on dates and become somewhat friends. Now, well, you can get to the dessert without even sitting at the dinner table.
Hope you can see this is just a stepping stone to adulthood. I think she needs about 10 years before she will get into a serious relationship. It also sounds like she is a bit selfish too. Like, "I like the way you make me feel."
I would say move on and find someone who doesn't mind just being your friend and walking hand and hand in the park.
Hope it all works out.
Probably the best advice. She wants sex and he doesn't. This way they'll both get what they want.
I agree HE'S NOT READY TO HAVE A GIRLFRIEND! He's going to be torn apart by some young cougarette!
She's going to come along and figure out his weaknesses and use them against him without him even knowing! And here I am feeling like Morgan Freeman "I just want to take that young man and knock some sense into him..."
It's just glaring in his posts, he's going to do it ALL PERFECTLY, he's got it all mapped out, you guys don't know diddly.
I agree HE'S NOT READY TO HAVE A GIRLFRIEND! He's going to be torn apart by some young cougarette!
She's going to come along and figure out his weaknesses and use them against him without him even knowing! And here I am feeling like Morgan Freeman "I just want to take that young man and knock some sense into him..."
It's just glaring in his posts, he's going to do it ALL PERFECTLY, he's got it all mapped out, you guys don't know diddly.
Gosh...youth is wasted on the youth..
You got that right. If I could get into my time machine and go back to when I was 18, 19, or 20, I'm thinking that I would have had a lot of fun. I mean A LOT. Even today, when I think of some women where I just didn't read the signs, I think, "Damn. What was I thinking?"
Im sorry, but you dont know her personally. Even if you were to meet her and never have a relationship come out of it, you would be able to understand that she really doesnt want to have sex right now. As I said, anyone will get worked up and forget their virtues when things get hot and heavy. As someone before replied, its just a natural thing. When you get worked up from about 20-30 minutes of foreplay, you tend to throw all thoughts but one out the window "i want to have sex" But with me, I can dicern between my thoughts even when there should be very few. I dont know any guys my age thats capable of doing that, and Ive even asked friends, all say they just cant stop themselves.
Translation:
"She's as good and angelic as me, I just need to tweak her a little, you know make her see things my way, the right way, of course, for her own good"
"She's as good and angelic as me, I just need to tweak her a little, you know make her see things my way, the right way, of course, for her own good"
Stop you're killing me pa ingles!
Nail. Meet the hammer. Holy mackerel, you got that right. He's basically deciding what's best for her, when she already knows that she wants to play hide the salami.
15 years from now, when she's with her husband at a swingers club getting down with a couple they just met from across town, she'll think, "I wonder what happened to that boy who tried to reform me?"
Location: Wandering the halls aimlessly...Hello? Is anyone there?
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Chiming in...
Quote:
Originally Posted by desert20
Trust me, the libido is no problem. We both have high ones, but she told me flat out that she "likes our relationship with a majority of it being physical"
You seem wiser than most for your age. Thats a good thing...really. Still I would have to call you on the maturity level of each of you as your still very young. Heres my take on it...
Your father seemed like he instilled some decent values in you and thats rare these days. I may also be reading between the lines, but sometimes an overly agressive woman can be a turn off. Yes I'm being serious here.
If your looking for a quick piece, sex is great although illicit sex can be detrimental for many reasons, especially if you you have morals and beliefs that say "wait" for the right one. Nonetheless there is a time and a place to show each other how you feel. Some public display of affection can be sweet and reinforces your love for one another. If she has an overwhelming desire for sexual contact and thats not your cup of tea, this might lead to problems later.
You sound to me like your trying to convince yourself that this is the girl for you. If thats the case, theres a few things you need to know.
1 - We as men tend to take what we have for granted. If you have a woman that will do everything you could possibly want in the bedroom and walk upright outside the bedroom and sit next to you in church...I'd have to say that you have a pretty good catch.
2 - We as men also tend to want outside the relationship. A real man will say no to temptation and stay true to the one he's with. Its hard but thats also what a man does to love and respect his woman.
3 - You do not always want to mesh perfectly as that tends to become boring and leaves no openings to discover new things about each other.
4 - Sometimes, at your age we tend to succumb to outside influence in the form of family and freinds. This causes one to act hastily and do things to please others and not himself. Becareful of this as it will rear its ugly head later on in the relationship.
Perhaps you might consider an older woman. Trust me when I say I know what Im talking about
Go with you gut, lay it on the line and be thankful for what you have. If you two really love each other as you say you do, things will work themselves out. Better a sexual dynamo than a prudish person who thinks sex and intimacy are trappings of the devil.
One final suggestion....if you plan on marrying this woman, whats wrong with waiting till the big night? I'm just asking.
Perhaps you might consider an older woman. Trust me when I say I know what Im talking about
Go with you gut, lay it on the line and be thankful for what you have. If you two really love each other as you say you do, things will work themselves out. Better a sexual dynamo than a prudish person who thinks sex and intimacy are trappings of the devil.
One final suggestion....if you plan on marrying this woman, whats wrong with waiting till the big night? I'm just asking.
Winter
Well, to be honest, I do prefer older women haha, always have. Since I started actually "dating" (ie: going out, not having parents take me to meet lol) I have only dated one girl younger than myself. The oldest I have dated has been 29 (when I was 18) it worked out great for about 8 months, then she was stationed somewhere else (was in the military).
Also, I have known this girl for a total of 5 months or so, and I can say that I care about her alot, but I cant say its love. She says she loves me though, I just told her that its great to know how she feels, that I care for her, but until I know I love her, I wont say it.
I'd say that you might want to look for someone else, and that when you do find that special someone she WILL be your best friend as well as your lover. You should have close friends that are not your SO, but for most people the SO just naturally takes the role of the best friend, and should.
It does sound like this guy has a very high opinion of himself. A 20 year old who wants to be the 'leader' and 'king' in his relationships, and who takes it upon himself to dictate the moral path his physical relationship is taking and then feeling all self righteous about it and judging her.
Ok, heres my situation. I am a guy, 20 years old. Been seeing a girl (19) for close to 4 months now. Prior to dating we had known each other a total of about a month and actually met over the internet. Yes we live in the same city and all that, basically a locals website.
Well, after all this time, I was starting to think that our relationship was more physical than anything even though she says she "Loves me" so I decided to try and do a date where nothing physical except kissing or just holding her happend. She became mad because I wouldnt do anything to her nor let her do anything towards me. I ended up telling her my opinion and she said "I like our relationship how it is, I love the way you make me feel"
Dont get me wrong, I like to do perverse and R-rated things just like any other hot blooded guy, but thats not at all what Im about. I dont get into relationships with someone based on the physical portion alone. Well now I dont really know what to do, I like the girl a lot, but its obvious she prefers the physical compared to an all around relationship. My family loves her and so do my friends, and vice-versa.
Also, out of the blue she asks if we are friends, and I tell her yes but then she asks if we are best friends, and I told her I dont know so she gets upset over that. I dont know about anyone else, but theres just something...wrong...in my mind...about being best friends with the person your in a relationship with. I dont know exactly how to explain it.
Well, to sum it up into a question or two; What should I do If I like the girl a lot, but dont want a relationship based on just physical aspects like she appearently does? And any opinions on the "best friends" thing?
Thanks to any who reply to this.
Geez! You're 20 years old, stop worrying about "feelings" so much and just enjoy the ride. IMO, you are ruining a good thing by doing something that is really considered "girlie". If you dont want to have sex with her, then break it off, if youre okay with the sex, then continue the relationship while you still meet other people.
You're sounding like a Jonas brother, just enjoy the sex and not worry about anything else. I think you are too young anyway to have a girlfriend. You should be dating lots of women at your age.
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Chiming in...
