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Not loaning money can be seen as selfishness if the person asking for the money knows you have it. When I was losing my business, I asked a cousin I knew could help me for a loan and he refused and I haven't felt the same about him since.
On the other hand, I would never have the nerve to ask someone I never met for money.
Maybe you assumed wrongly about his financial situation. Most people that appear to be well off, don't have that much cash in the bank. They have it tied up in real estate and other investments. And there can be a stiff penalty for liquefying those assets. Plus your failing business is like our current auto industry. Perhaps even with a loan from your cousin, it wouldn't saved your business, it would have just prolonged the inevitable failure. Then you still would have lost the business plus owed your cousin. Or maybe you didn't make it clear to your cousin how his loan could guarantee that your business would be turned around and how soon you could repay him with interest.
Your cousin is family, he is not your bank. I could see asking your parents for a loan since one day you'll inherit what they have. Or ask a sibling, again using your future inheritance as the collateral, But a cousin is too distant a connection imo.
I have a policy of never loaning money to anyone, with a few exceptions. That's what banks and finance companies are for.
There was one time recently when traveling for work I loaned someone $100 to get through 2 days because they had a card problem. I was paid back, but this isn't something I would do on a regular basis.
If someone is in true need, I would give money, but not expect it to be paid back. My sister and her husband both had life threatening illnesses earlier this year and I helped them out with some things and some money.
I just think you get in a bad area when you start loaning things or money to people. I learned at 5 years old when you loan somebody something, you rarely get it returned and if you do probably not in the condition you gave it to the person.
Not loaning money can be seen as selfishness if the person asking for the money knows you have it. When I was losing my business, I asked a cousin I knew could help me for a loan and he refused and I haven't felt the same about him since.
On the other hand, I would never have the nerve to ask someone I never met for money.
But your cousin was under NO obligation to lend you money. It wasn't your cousin's fault you were losing your business. If you were a good business person perhaps you wouldn't be in the position of losing your business. You should not harbor any ill will toward your cousin. It's not his place in life to bail you out. Not trying to be rude, please don't take it that way.
Jeep Girl, what a sh*tty thing to have happen to you! You are absolutely right NOT to lend the money. Don't allow these people to guilt you into anything. You don't owe them anything!!! I truly send my very best wishes, hugs and good thoughts to you and yor son for a very Merry Christmas and the best New Year ever!!!
First, Merry Christmas to everyone! My favorite time of year and I am very excited about it!
Update on my biological family that was planning to come down here tomorrow for Christmas. This past weekend, I was asked for money to help one of them out of a bad situation, I had to say no, just based on the fact that I have yet to meet them in person. The situation and lack of funds on their end canceled Christmas on Sunday, unfortunately after I had everything all set and ready.
I have been given the cold shoulder since I declined to loan money.
This is beyond an extreme turn-off to me. After being given the cold shoulder, my desire to meet them has been sucked down to ground zero. It's told me a lot about them.
Thing is that I can't wrap my mind around. . . why do people get mad at a person that will not loan them money? Is their cold shoulder routine a manipulation tactic? In their minds, am I supposed to bow down and grovel for their attentions by "re-thinking?" Sorry, I won't. My head is on straight. What nerve. WTH is wrong with people? What motivates the silent treatment? Has this ever happened to you?
I may not be back on much in the next couple of days with the holiday, my son and I have a lot planned, but I will get back on to check responses as much as I am able to.
Merry-Merriest Christmas!
What a punch in the stomach. I'm speechless. Have a nice holiday.
I'm so sorry, JeepGirl. This must be very difficult for you to deal with. Don't feel guilty at all about not loaning them money. Btw, if I wanted to borrow money from someone I certainly wouldn't mention that I was at a tanning salon! Based on that statement alone, there's an implied sense of entitlement that really infuriates me.
I hope you have a wonderful Christmas with your son, and please don't give your relatives another thought! I'll chime in with others who have said you should meet them in neutral territory.
JeepGirl, First, Merry Christmas to all. Or, Happy Hanukkah and Happy Kwanzaa (whatever you celebrate or not).
Now, do not lend money to someone you have never met. They probably would not have shown up for Christmas anyway once they received the money. Never lend money that you cannot afford to give as a gift. Consider yourself lucky to have found out what they are like before you invested money and time in a relationship. Many people feel entitled to other people's things. They are not entitled to yours unless you decide that they are. I think most people want to have close family ties, but for many people, that's just in the movies, unfortunately.
Enjoy the time with your son. Those are the memories that count. Any, all of us on this Board wish you a Merry Christmas.
If you ask me i thikn you are better off without them.....hopefully the family that raised you were good to you and youare still close with...sometimes blood isnt thicker than water
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Thats pretty low! 
