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guy's moral of the story: Don't get married. This is the kind of questions women are asking. "Should I marry for love or money?" Either way, you get screwed.
I've always been one to follow my heart, but I feel like its a no win situation. Do i settle for a man i can live with and have financial security and happiness? Or do i forfeit security and go for it with someone i know will satisfy my every need?
In short...in similar or comparable circumstances, do you vote love or security?
What is your definition of your ex satisfying your every need? Is he the better lover? Or is it that he understands you better than your fiance?
I guess that my initial feeling is that I feel very sorry for your fiance, and I'm not that sympathetic to your needs. In all fairness to your fiance, you should just break up with him, return the engagement ring and let him find a woman that will love him 110% and not be torn between him and some ex that doesn't have his act together. Why did you and your ex break up?
Kudos to you for never having a doubt or wrong thought in your life...you're a better person than I for sure! You seem to keep missing the fact that I DO have feelings for him. How can you be with someone so long and not? He's my best friend. And its not a new person, that's half the problem, it's an ex. If I genuinely didn't care, wouldn't I have left already? If I were SO self-centered....why would I be holding on to someone?
But why am I not surprised that someone who is as presumptuous and judgemental as you are wouldn't know that.
You say you have feelings and care about him, but you don't LOVE him. If you truly loved him, then his (your finances) happiness would mean more to you and it would never occir to you to keep stringing him along, keeping him as plan b while you figure thingd out. And your ex would n't be a factor. You entitled this thread "Love or Security". Your ex is Love and your finance is Security. Like Mui said, If you did genuninely cared yes you would be gone and let him find someone who doesn't view him simply as a security blanket but would see him as "Love".
You say you have feelings and care about him, but you don't LOVE him. If you truly loved him, then his (your finances) happiness would mean more to you and it would never occir to you to keep stringing him along, keeping him as plan b while you figure thingd out. And your ex would n't be a factor. You entitled this thread "Love or Security". Your ex is Love and your finance is Security. Like Mui said, If you did genuninely cared yes you would be gone and let him find someone who doesn't view him simply as a security blanket but would see him as "Love".
it's a tough question to answer without more information about both men and how you feel about them in more detail. otherwise we're just jumping to conclusions here and not giving you any helpful advice (only character judgments).
personally i would choose love. financial security comes and goes, and honestly i would not want to depend on any man for my financial security. a better option would be to look for ways to become financially secure together with a man that you love. that way you are not sacrificing anything. that's what building a life together means.
it disturbs me though that you never even think about the option of earning money yourself and take it as a matter of course that a man will provide for you. in my opinion that's a very silly path to take in life since the security is only illusory and can be taken from you at any moment in your life on man's whim.
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