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Success is relative, of course. But here is the scenario.
A very good friend of mine is pretty successful; makes a great living, has a beautiful home and all the perks of having a cushy job with a higher end auto maker.
She will not date a man with bad credit and insists on a credit check before going on a second date. LOL....I still laugh at it. It is a bit much, yes, but these men are happy to consent to it and if it works for them, who am I to judge? She is an excpetional woman in every way that I can vouch for; her heart, her generosity, her philanthropy. She deserves all the very best and her confidence, accomplishments and presence really do command it.
But after thinking about it, it makes perfect sense. When I was younger I would have called her selfish and shallow. But having settled for less than the best in my own life, I respect her position. I wouldn't ask for a credit check, but I would not date someone who is not successful; meaning financially independent and secure.
What level of financial success, if any, is a must in your relationships?
makes sense and you could be right. but why is it that so many successful people that i have known have been not popular with the ladies? perhaps bek success does not always make us nice and cheery. victorious battle scared warriors get sweaty old and dirty & grim, they are no longer so attractive. its not true everybody loves a winner. everybody respects a winner. trophy girls can always be purchased but that is not what we are talking about is it.
Last edited by Huckleberry3911948; 12-27-2008 at 12:38 AM..
I'm not sure I'd require a credit check on the 2nd date, but I do want someone that is financially stable. If I'm going to be in a serious relationship I don't want it to be with a deadbeat. It is important to pay your bills on time, shows maturity and responsibility. Once I finally get married I want to know that we will always have a roof over our heads and food in the cupboard. But I also am not looking to marry a Bill Gates or other billionaire.
Though I will say that I have performed a background check on a guy before, and am very glad that I did.
I would not knowingly enter into a relationship with someone that was not financially stable - not sure that financial "success" is the right term for me. I've never done a credit check though, and not sure that I ever would. I pretty much learn about them by paying attention to what they say and do, where they live, who they hang out with, etc. And anyone that did not have a good network of friends and family would raise red flags for me.
Success is relative, of course. But here is the scenario.
A very good friend of mine is pretty successful; makes a great living, has a beautiful home and all the perks of having a cushy job with a higher end auto maker.
She will not date a man with bad credit and insists on a credit check before going on a second date. LOL....I still laugh at it. It is a bit much, yes, but these men are happy to consent to it and if it works for them, who am I to judge? She is an excpetional woman in every way that I can vouch for; her heart, her generosity, her philanthropy. She deserves all the very best and her confidence, accomplishments and presence really do command it.
But after thinking about it, it makes perfect sense. When I was younger I would have called her selfish and shallow. But having settled for less than the best in my own life, I respect her position. I wouldn't ask for a credit check, but I would not date someone who is not successful; meaning financially independent and secure.
What level of financial success, if any, is a must in your relationships?
Success is very relative.
Monetary success is highly overrated IMHO.
I've done OK so far with my life. Make pretty good money, respected by my co-workers, I'm the kinda guy people come to for help and my opinions are generally respected.
Bought a home fairly early.
Did all of the crap that you're supposed to do.
That being said I'm not really all that happy. I want to downscale my life and get a simpler job, simpler everything.
I guess she wouldn't date me with this attitude I have about financial success.
It is very important to me. I stop dating a person when I realize that I couldn't spend the rest of my life with them, so I won't settle for any less than the standards I set for myself in life.
Any person I date has to have at least the same earning potential as I have. If he is currently in school, teaching English in Brazil, traveling, has an entry level job, or in between jobs but has a good work ethic, a strong educational background, and the drive and ambition to succeed, then that's fine. If he's gainfully employed making $8 an hour at a job with no upward mobility with no degree and little demonstrated effort to improve himself, it's not going to go very far with me. I also pay close attention to spending habits early on.
These factors are nothing that I don't already hold myself to. While I'm still a student and therefore not in the workforce yet, I work my butt off at school, networking in the "real world", working internships, and doing study abroad programs to put myself in the best position to be hired. I don't *get* people who don't do the same- so in many ways, my requirements are just as much about the same mentality as about success.
What, no requirement for him to submit a bank statement? No prospective interview process? No maping of his DNA? From what you've said here, you seem to be a very cold, impersonal, frigid individual who cares nothing about love and emotion and everything about money. May you live the life you deserve,...solitary.
Well, that girl is not wasting time xD but I understand the bottom line: SO's bad credit will be a problem one day.
It may be cold but the love won't give you the pretty house you want or the car you need/want or won't give you the possibility to take your kids to a better school. Some reality is important too in a relationship.
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