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Essentially, this applies to many, if not most marriages in N.A. too. Its just done in a different way. These women always say that they are looking for all these wonderful inner characteristics but if one were to analyze the choice, it is only from among those men who already have the necessary "outer" characteristics. From what I've seen, few such men have good inner characteristics - because they have no need to develop them.
Quote:
Originally Posted by NotARedneck
Then there is usually a lot of posturing, hiding ones true nature and wishful thinking going on before the final decision is made. We don't have a 50% divorce rate (with many staying hitched in far less than optimal marriages), because people are making effective choices. This assertion of an effective choice is just a myth.
I find the worst abuses of the "mail order bride" situation to be offensive but this is mainly because I don't like to see such women exploited. However, the cases that I know are hardly of the extreme.
Sometimes I think that the biggest critics are the women who realize that this is undercutting their chances. They dress it up as something else, but this is their prime objection.
Exactly.. you're brilliant Notaredneck,
but watch out those 'biggest critics' whom I'm sure you're aware don't have the intelligence to comprehend what you just said and are mean to the core...they reeaallly want the men to think they are 'lower' for seeking this option for the exact reason you stated plus 'other' reasons....wear your helmet my friend!! I'd say they don't just dress it up....they totally campaign against it.
And about how 'some' of these women choose guys-- you are exactly right. It's sad, but maturity takes time for both the sexes doesn't it..?
thanks for your enlightened post..
Do men really think that they are going to find true love with a mail order bride? I keep being amazed at all these men who actually believe that somehow it will happen for them, despite all the well documented scams and cases where the women leave after they get a visa.
A friend of mine recently got married to a girl from an Asian country whom he found online. I'm sure that he expected her to be submissive and adoring, but reality is far from that. She is demanding and expects him to support her while she stays at home and is far from submissive. So now he is looking at going to Eastern Europe. He probably thinks that women are different there!
The naivete is really amazing to me. Don't men realize that they are just tickets out of the country into a better lifestyle for these girls? That as soon as they get a visa they'll be looking to leave them, and that true love rarely if ever happens in these situations? I'm sure a woman may end up liking the guy in some cases, but seriously..
It just always amazes me that western men are filled with hopes for romance instead of treating it like a business transaction.
Does anyone think they will find true love in any marriage?
I myself am amazed that anyone thinks of marriage as anything other than a business transaction.
Most of my friends have married women in this country. While they were dating, they had plenty of sex, most of the men even felt that they were happy. There girlfriends pressured them for a commitment. They agreed because they didn't want to break up a good thing. Then they got married and have kids.
Now they don't have sex because there wife is tired. They don't have money because their wife has spent it. If you want to know who is going to stripclubs? Its where married men go to get female attention once their wife starts ignoring them.
Half of all marriages in this country end in divorce. Of the ones that don't end in divorce, I would say half of those aren't too happy either.
The naiviete is amazing to me. Don't guys realise that once they get married, that true love rarely occurs? I am sure a woman will occasionally like the guy in some cases, but seriously.... It always amazes me that guys are filled with hopes for romance instead of treating it like a business transaction.
Marriage is designed to transfer wealth an assets from the wealthier spouse to poorer spouse. In this society women generally marry men who make more money than they make. Marriage is just about always a bad deal for men.
What I have failed to see is any evidence that a mail order bride is any worse of a decision than American born bride. Instead from what I have seen in this thread is a lot of reasons to never get married.
When I bought my computer, my camera, my tv and my car, I bought the better made and less expensive foreign import. I have never married and am not planning on doing it, but if I did, I would probably seriously consider the cheaper better made foriegn import. I have seen what happens with the women in this country and I doubt it could be any worse.
Does anyone think they will find true love in any marriage?
Quote:
Originally Posted by edwardius
I myself am amazed that anyone thinks of marriage as anything other than a business transaction.
Most of my friends have married women in this country. While they were dating, they had plenty of sex, most of the men even felt that they were happy. There girlfriends pressured them for a commitment. They agreed because they didn't want to break up a good thing. Then they got married and have kids.
Now they don't have sex because there wife is tired. They don't have money because their wife has spent it. If you want to know who is going to stripclubs? Its where married men go to get female attention once their wife starts ignoring them.
Half of all marriages in this country end in divorce. Of the ones that don't end in divorce, I would say half of those aren't too happy either.
The naiviete is amazing to me. Don't guys realise that once they get married, that true love rarely occurs? I am sure a woman will occasionally like the guy in some cases, but seriously.... It always amazes me that guys are filled with hopes for romance instead of treating it like a business transaction.
Marriage is designed to transfer wealth an assets from the wealthier spouse to poorer spouse. In this society women generally marry men who make more money than they make. Marriage is just about always a bad deal for men.
What I have failed to see is any evidence that a mail order bride is any worse of a decision than American born bride. Instead from what I have seen in this thread is a lot of reasons to never get married.
When I bought my computer, my camera, my tv and my car, I bought the better made and less expensive foreign import. I have never married and am not planning on doing it, but if I did, I would probably seriously consider the cheaper better made foriegn import. I have seen what happens with the women in this country and I doubt it could be any worse.
Exactly! So why don't you and I try it together-- we'll both order a mail order bride, get pre-nups, and when she gets tired or leaves, we'll just get another cheaper foreign upgrade!! We're not doing this for true love! It's a biz transaction just like you say! I'm with you buddy!
What about the guys who get fat and lazy...they are such a turn off to their wives, no wonder they don't get affections from them.
On the other hand, I have seen some pretty hot married men who's wives got fat and don't bother with makeup anymore.
Marriage is hard. I don't think humans were meant to be monogamous.
Men were always the hunter/gather and the women the cooks/take care of kids from the start of time.
Life is hard enough, but when you are in love, there's nothing better than to have that feeling. It's just we all screw it up somehow and forget our ways.
Just had to offer my 2 cents....I hope the bashers on this site don't kill me.
You know the magic thing about women, they make more of them every day. An older man can always find a younger woman, but an older woman has a hard time finding a younger man unless she is rich. go figger
I have known a few men who have gone for Asian brides, through 'cherry blossoms' or other agencys.
One of my high school buddies purchased his bride from an asian immigrant family. They have been married for nearly 20 years, two children.
I suppose that you could call them 'losers' if you wish.
None of the men that I have known to do this, were socially adept.
High IQ, high wage-earners, but generally who never really developed good people skills.
From those men that I have known, the search for 'submissiveness' was not so they could be 'agressive'. Rather so they would not be face-slapped, or humiliated in public situations [by more socially adapt females].
But whatever, if a guy has a spare $100k each year to blow on a female, it is not for me to say that he should not spend it on an Asian bride.
Men who seek out high tech fields often are in college classes with only men. Then they work in careers that are only men. So when their salaries peek, they have never really had much opportunity to be in social environments around females.
They are not comfortable around females because of this.
I would imagine that 90% of our nation's Reactor Operators are like this. All of their schooling was male only, they work in male only work centers, and they have not rubbed elbows with females since they were teens. and not all males had good experiences as teens.
Then there is usually a lot of posturing, hiding ones true nature and wishful thinking going on before the final decision is made. We don't have a 50% divorce rate (with many staying hitched in far less than optimal marriages), because people are making effective choices. This assertion of an effective choice is just a myth.
I like a lot of what you're saying, but I think our divorce rate has less to do with choices made up front and more to do with people being unable and unwilling to compromise and work together. I mean, yeah, we all know people who made a bad choice in their spouses, but the way people treat each other during marriage...wow, I am simply appalled by their actions.
In my opinion, divorce rates are also up partly because women don't stay in marriages where they are effectively disempowered and disenfranchised (like a lot of women I know in my parents' generations). I don't see a lot of today's women putting up with what those women put up with. You give women power, and you're not going to be able to treat them the same way anymore. Marriage works great and is really easy if one person is always willing to back down and submit.
Men who seek out high tech fields often are in college classes with only men. Then they work in careers that are only men. So when their salaries peek, they have never really had much opportunity to be in social environments around females.
They are not comfortable around females because of this.
I would imagine that 90% of our nation's Reactor Operators are like this. All of their schooling was male only, they work in male only work centers, and they have not rubbed elbows with females since they were teens. and not all males had good experiences as teens.
Good point. I took one look around my physics class in my first semester of starting towards an engineering degree, 30 men, 1 woman. Switched next semester to Marketing and never looked back
There are imbalances all over. The ski resort I lived in had about a 4 to 1 ratio of men to women and that just screws everything up. The women get spoiled, the men get ultra competitive or just give up completely.
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