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Andrew. Are you listening to me? Because I'm going to to explain something to you, based on my knowledge of women and relationships. And I'm not trying to hurt your feelings.
Ready?
Log off from the computer. Delete your screen names. Erase whatever IM program you use from your computers. For, based on your previous posts, you have become far too involved with these women from online, women who probably aren't even who they say they are. They are not flesh-and-blood. They are not real. Yet, in your mind, you are thinking that you have real involvement with them, to the point that you'll sit down and devote a couple of hours to a pencil sketch.
Unless you are freaking Botticelli e-mailing an immortalization of her divine beauty, the entire gesture is going to fall flat. Because women with sense distrust expansive gestures even from men they know personally. Coming from a guy out in Cyberland, and it becomes a truly frightening thing. Add this to your previous post about the chat buddy you've obsessed over for the past year, and I'm beginning to think you have snakes in the head.
I'm really not trying to be cruel here. But you need to gain a realistic understanding of who women are and what creates trust in them. For, without trust, you're not getting any further than you are right now.
A good idea, after you eschew your online activities, is to meet people in the real world. Not to woo, but to know. As I said in the previous post, invest in new clothes and a decent hair cut. Appraise yourself as a functioning person in the world. Get outside and enjoy the fresh air, rather than talking to disembodied people in your mother's basement. Start working on yourself as a person. For those things will do more to help you find someone in your life than all the chat rooms and goofy romantic gestures in the world.
Listen to us, Andrew. We're really only trying to help.
ok this is a question that i have always wanted to ask on this forum. So ok, i sometimes draw pictures of women that i speak to online and i upload it and send it to them, yet i never seem to get any reaction from them at all. It is somewhat disheartening because i only mean it as a friendly gesture, and to try to make an effort- if nothing else. What would you think if someone drew a picture of you and sent it to you? Is it something that i should stop doing? do women not appreciate these type of things?
here is some of the artwork that i have drawn and sent- i have only three of them saved on the computer.
I would take that as the ultimate form of flattery.
Anybody who takes the time and effort to re-create me in two-dimensional form is definitely a romantic ... and an artist to boot.
I also draw and paint. I create my art from the inside out. So if I'm not "feeling the love" (or feeling something from within my soul), I'm certainly not going to waste my time on them.
Hope that answers your question, Andrew.
The caveat to all this is that the recipient may not appreciate what you've done, and they may also have mininal feelings towards you.
The point of "giving" isn't to receive anything back. The "gift" of giving comes from the act of giving.
if someone did that I would think it is creepy. YUK
not to the art or the talent, but it feels like a stalker thing, way too personal from a total stranger.
someone did the verbal equivalent of it to me online, writing "personal poems" to women, including me, and then became very very angry when he got no response.
Art is wonderful. Get out there in the park in your neighborhood with your sketchbook and talent and paint, draw, express yourself creatively. But if you try to use it as a way to pick up women, women sense that and see right through that and don't always respond positively.
I know the response an artist gets when they are in public doing art, I am an artist and it is impossible NOT to get a reaction if you are sitting in a restaurant, in a park, on a bench, even if there are no people around, they come out of the woodwork and lean over your shoulder and are intensely interested and fascinated in your work.
Be honest about your motives too, be honest with yourself. If you are really interested in art and creative expression, it will show itself in a variety of subjects, so if it's people, all ages, all genders, all types. If you find yourself ONLY wanting to paint or draw young women then use those pictures to try to strike up a friendship or conversation or romantic liaison, check out your motives.
If it's really the "art" you are interested in developing, then act like an artist and not a stalker. Get clear on your motives and what you "expect" in return. Paint or draw in public and see how ALL people respond to your work. I guarantee you will draw to yourself people who really do value your ART and your work as an artist and will offer very positive support and encouragement and appreciation.
someone did the verbal equivalent of it to me online, writing "personal poems" to women, including me, and then became very very angry when he got no response.
I got bad poetry too eons ago from a creepy guy. After one date he already considered me his girlfriend and typed up a long letter telling me how I cured his depression, as well as the bad poetry which was nothing but a rhyming play-by-play of our date. (My name was hideously misspelled throughout it all, mind you.) This guy was mentally unstable and I nipped that in the bud.
ok when i first joined this forum- i appreciated the healthy criticism. But now im starting to think that it is not good for me to use this forum, because negativity breeds negativity. That first picture was of that girl that i had been speaking to for four years, i drew that picture after speaking to her for three years- so its not as though i didnt know her. It may not have been a good picture, but she could have at least said like ''thanks for the effort'' or something along those lines instead of beeing ignorant about it. It costs nothing to say thank you. That is why i found her friendship to be so unrewarding..because i always searched for some appreciation from her and she never gave it. I dont know why people on this forum do not see that. My theory is- online friendhsips are difficult to begin with, but if you dont make extra effort and commitment than you are not trying and you are wasting your time and its not going to work. But anyways, at least i know now that it is not a good idea to draw pictures of people that you speak to online regardless of how long you have known them.
ok when i first joined this forum- i appreciated the healthy criticism. But now im starting to think that it is not good for me to use this forum, because negativity breeds negativity. That first picture was of that girl that i had been speaking to for four years, i drew that picture after speaking to her for three years- so its not as though i didnt know her. It may not have been a good picture, but she could have at least said like ''thanks for the effort'' or something along those lines instead of beeing ignorant about it. It costs nothing to say thank you. I dont know why people on this forum do not see that. My theory is- online friendhsips are difficult to begin with, but if you dont make extra effort and commitment than you are wasting your time and its not going to work. But anyways, at least i know now that it is not a good idea to draw pictures of people that you speak to online regardless of how long you have known them.
Well, I think some of the criticisms of your drawings were over the top. At the same time, the criticism of how you're viewing these women are completely and totally spot-on. Online relationships are a monumental waste of your time, particularly since you don't seem to have a realistic view of women at all. I'm not sure whether you're idealizing them, or have an entirely mechanistic view such as "If I do A, then B will occur." Either way, it's just not a good way to approach them.
I really hope you'll take my advice to heart and start meeting women the way God or Nature intended you to. In person. It's really a lot healthier.
I got bad poetry too eons ago from a creepy guy. After one date he already considered me his girlfriend and typed up a long letter telling me how I cured his depression, as well as the bad poetry which was nothing but a rhyming play-by-play of our date. (My name was hideously misspelled throughout it all, mind you.) This guy was mentally unstable and I nipped that in the bud.
I think the negativity you're hearing is because members are basing their opinions on the information you originally gave them. Many assumed you sent the drawings early in the relationship and based their opinions on that.
As for why no one commented back on the drawings, my guess is they didn't because they weren't very flattering of the subjects. They mad them look too fat or too old so they likely took offense at them but were too polite to comment back.
Well, I think some of the criticisms of your drawings were over the top. At the same time, the criticism of how you're viewing these women are completely and totally spot-on. Online relationships are a monumental waste of your time, particularly since you don't seem to have a realistic view of women at all. I'm not sure whether you're idealizing them, or have an entirely mechanistic view such as "If I do A, then B will occur." Either way, it's just not a good way to approach them.
I really hope you'll take my advice to heart and start meeting women the way God or Nature intended you to. In person. It's really a lot healthier.
I will admit, i am mesmerised by the online world but i realise that it is unhealthy for me, that is why i stopped talking to her. I dont see why i need to see a doctor over just saying- oh i havent spoken to this girl for ten months. It feels like an accomplishment that i was able to stop myself from talking to her. Like breaking a bad habit. It is the same equivalent as saying ''oh i havent drunk anything alcholic in ten months'' or ''oh i havent smoked in ten months''- would you need to see a doctor for that? Yes i feel a bit bitter over her still because i tried to give alot to make this online friendship work and i do not feel that she express any appreciation for it, yet she would always keep talking to me for some reason.
and you are right my views of women are too idealistic, and i have realised that when trying to develop relationships with women in real life. But at the same time if i do not have my own idealistic view on women and relationships, than they will not seem as fascinating for me and i will lose interest.
Last edited by Andrew83; 01-28-2009 at 02:37 PM..
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