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Addition: I've tried to tell him I can't see him cause it hurts to much. I've told him that I love him to much to just be his friend. He might not call for a day or two but sooner or later he calls/texts and asks me to hang out or something. On top of that.... Everytime we "hand out" we have a great time (I put my feeling aside) but than it turns sexual. I've told him I don't want that but he doesn't listen.
Hate to be crude but.... are you atleast getting paid for it? At 20$ a pop it will only take 50,000 times and you'll be a millionare.
Why would you want a relationship with a man/jerk that would treat ANY woman like that? Your good enough to hang out with and have sex with but not good enough for a relationship?
The writing is on the wall. Read it.
Listen to that voice that says (in a malevolent tone) GEEETTTTTT OOUUUTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!
The wound won't heal as long as the knife is still in your back..
Wrong.. no bucking up baby. Sorry. He ended a relationship with you in spite of having a life long friendship on top of that. He obviously doesn't care about your feelings or he would recognize he's doing more harm than good by keeping you around as a friend. He is manipulating you by being in your life because he doesn't want you to be with anyone else. Are you dating? Probably not and it's because you won't give yourself time to date or to maybe love someone else who will be with you for the long haul.
I say get rid of this guy, sorry but no friendship is worth you possibly missing out on the greatest love of your life. You need time to heal and move on with your own life. It really ticks me off when men and women do that by breaking up after a long relationship but then being like "ohh lets still be friends because you are SO important to me" but guess what, if you weren't good enough to date then you are not good enough to be friends with and you should stick that in his pipe and smoke it LOL
I'll keep it to the basics... just looking for others perspective.
I was in a 4 year relationship with a man. Since the breakup, which hes given several reasons for, he has stayed in my life insisting I'm a huge part of his life, that he cares for me like I"m family and that he loves me deeply (as a friend). He still calls, comes over and if I stop talking to him for more than a week he finds a way to contact me.
I won't lie, its almost been a year and I'm still in love with him. Deeply. He hasnt' been out of my life long enough for me to move on. I'm in love with him, his son, and his family.
My confusion comes here.... I know that I'm hurting myself over and over by being friends with him. A part of me feels like I have to cut him out complelety and move on with my life. But the other part says, why throw away a good friendship, a lifelong friendship. Maybe I should just buck up and live with it. I know that things will change drastically (he says differently) when he starts serioulsy dating someone else or I do. Honeslty I know I wouldn't be able to handle it when that happenes. I'm confused and don't know what to do. Cut him out or keep a good friend in my life???
I think you need to move away from the relationship. It sounds like he is keeping you on a string, and will toss you aside when he finds someone else.
It's possible to be friends with exes but it usually happens after the infatuation has ended, the attraction has grown cold.
Addition: I've tried to tell him I can't see him cause it hurts to much. I've told him that I love him to much to just be his friend. He might not call for a day or two but sooner or later he calls/texts and asks me to hang out or something. On top of that.... Everytime we "hand out" we have a great time (I put my feeling aside) but than it turns sexual. I've told him I don't want that but he doesn't listen.
What he wants from you is a "f" buddy. He wants the freedom to be out looking for someone new, but he wants you to call on in case nothing pans out and he's feeling "needs".
You need to face that and ditch him and find someone who wants to be more to you than that.
I'd like to know how people turn attraction on and off as if it's some faucet... In my experience if it can be turned off it never was there to begin with.
I think it's interesting that in your original post, you don't mention anything about the sexual nature of the relationship. Is it because you are ashamed of it? I think it makes you feel better to think of it as a "friendship".
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