Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
The homewrecker is the person who broke their vows. I don't know why someone would want to get involved with someone who is married but I wouldn't call them the homewrecker. The one who wrecked the home is the spouse that got into the affair. You see, if it hadn't been that one person they would have found someone else. To label the OW/OM the homewrecker is to say the spouse who cheated couldn't help themselves in the presence of a homewrecker.
I have no ill feelings towards the woman my husband dated during our separation. SHE didn't make him do it. It was his choice. My issues are with him and only him. SHe didn't take a vow with me. He did.
The homewrecker is the person who broke their vows. I don't know why someone would want to get involved with someone who is married but I wouldn't call them the homewrecker. The one who wrecked the home is the spouse that got into the affair. You see, if it hadn't been that one person they would have found someone else. To label the OW/OM the homewrecker is to say the spouse who cheated couldn't help themselves in the presence of a homewrecker.
I have no ill feelings towards the woman my husband dated during our separation. SHE didn't make him do it. It was his choice. My issues are with him and only him. SHe didn't take a vow with me. He did.
You have an excellent point, however I think common decency should kick in and the OM or OW should have some basic class to not "interfere" with the relationship.
You have an excellent point, however I think common decency should kick in and the OM or OW should have some basic class to not "interfere" with the relationship.
I agree but I still blame the spouse for straying. You see, there's only one spouse but there are, potentially, thousands of OW/OM. You can't make your spouses fidelity the responsibility of every other person they meet. Odds have it, if they're looking to cheat, it's only a matter of time before they find someone willing no matter how many said no up until then.
Personally, I wouldn't, knowingly, date a married man. I did have an oops years ago. Honestly, he was out to all hours of the night. How was I supposed to know he had a wife? Of course, she blamed me and kept him In her mind I was to blame not him. I never got that. Especially since I ratted him out when I found out.
You have an excellent point, however I think common decency should kick in and the OM or OW should have some basic class to not "interfere" with the relationship.
Exactly! I see no reason whatsoever for the OP to keep this friendship. None.
Thanks everyone for the advice. I have been thinking about this for a long time and it just feels like this whole thing has driven a wedge in between us.
As for the spouse being the homewrecker, I could agree with that. My friend didn't put a gun to his head and force him to cheat, he made that decision. However, I also think that my friend, if she had a good heart and empathy for others, she wouldn't interfere. I know there would have been someone else eventually that would have been happy to do the same thing, but I guess I just had more faith that my friend was a better person than that. It is a terribly selfish act to be with a married man like this, especially since there are small children in the equation. I feel sorry for them the most.
One of my closest and dearest friends (I've known her for about 16 years and consider her to by like a sister) got involved in a relationship about 2 years ago. The guy was married with 2 small children. Well, my friend met this guy at a convention and proceeded to start an affair with him. When I asked her about him being married, her response was that "they have an open relationship". I thought this was a load the minute I heard it but I didn't press the issue. She kept on seeing the guy and I began to hear more and more about how his wife was getting upset. Ultimately, the guy left his wife and moved in with my friend. When I asked her if she felt bad about helping to break up a marriage, she said "It's okay. His wife is crazy". The thing that angers me is that I had a spouse dump me for someone else so I don't look upon homewreckers too kindly. They disgust me as a matter of fact.
My friend's new relationship has slowly driven away her old circle of friends and family. Everyone is put off by the homewrecking but on top of that, the guy is an insufferable jerk. He is a bossy know-it-all who is foul-mouthed around his small children (both of whom are under the age of 10). His children have dropped the f-bomb around other children.
Since my friend has been with this guy (around 2 years), she has become more intolerant of religious friends. She was never like this before but since she's been seeing this guy (he's a Pagan by the way) she's been very hateful and disrespectful about our religious views. She has also started to run around with his group of friends too and has been trying to set me up with people I am really not interested in. She and her new boyfriend have also been encouraging me to participate in one night stands after my recent break-up from my fiance.
I guess my question here is that I am not sure I want to remain friends with this person. I love her dearly but this relationship with this guy is vile to me. The guy is still married to the woman he left and has told my friend he has no intention of marrying her. I hate to end a friendship with someone I care deeply about but every time I see her I feel like she isn't the same person.
Hate to say it, but it sounds like your friend and this jerk deserve each other.
Perhaps you could keep a healthy distance between the two of you for now, yet continue to be a friend when (not if, but when) this guy does to her what he has done to his wife.
One of my closest and dearest friends (I've known her for about 16 years and consider her to by like a sister) got involved in a relationship about 2 years ago. The guy was married with 2 small children. Well, my friend met this guy at a convention and proceeded to start an affair with him. When I asked her about him being married, her response was that "they have an open relationship". I thought this was a load the minute I heard it but I didn't press the issue. She kept on seeing the guy and I began to hear more and more about how his wife was getting upset. Ultimately, the guy left his wife and moved in with my friend. When I asked her if she felt bad about helping to break up a marriage, she said "It's okay. His wife is crazy". The thing that angers me is that I had a spouse dump me for someone else so I don't look upon homewreckers too kindly. They disgust me as a matter of fact.
My friend's new relationship has slowly driven away her old circle of friends and family. Everyone is put off by the homewrecking but on top of that, the guy is an insufferable jerk. He is a bossy know-it-all who is foul-mouthed around his small children (both of whom are under the age of 10). His children have dropped the f-bomb around other children.
Since my friend has been with this guy (around 2 years), she has become more intolerant of religious friends. She was never like this before but since she's been seeing this guy (he's a Pagan by the way) she's been very hateful and disrespectful about our religious views. She has also started to run around with his group of friends too and has been trying to set me up with people I am really not interested in. She and her new boyfriend have also been encouraging me to participate in one night stands after my recent break-up from my fiance.
I guess my question here is that I am not sure I want to remain friends with this person. I love her dearly but this relationship with this guy is vile to me. The guy is still married to the woman he left and has told my friend he has no intention of marrying her. I hate to end a friendship with someone I care deeply about but every time I see her I feel like she isn't the same person.
Just stop taking or returning her calls and if she ever wants you to go out with her or them, always be busy. She obviously isn't the same person. She choose a path that is going to lead her into a dark place. I'd stay far away if I were you.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
In her mind I was to blame not him. I never got that. Especially since I ratted him out when I found out.
