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What's important to me is not being a financial train wreck. I dated a girl awhile back, and regardless of what she made, she spent about 102% of her income. That got old.
I could easily support 102%. Its the 140% that starts to smart.
A good friend of mine was in a CL relationship with a woman with kids. She had a reasonable job and he covered everything except the food and other household necessities that she would buy at the grocery store.
Every year, she would be at least $30,000 in debt and he had to bail her out. When her kids finally grew up, he gave her the house, took his bed and car and left.
I often wonder if she had a "cabana boy" on the side.
As a 24 year old man, I'm more worried about my own credit and debts at the moment. When I do get married & start a family I would like my own debts to be under control. I would also like to have good or decent credit by the time i get married. That would make having a wife a little bit easier IMO!
When I was young I never gave it a thought but I learned money does matter and it causes problems between two people, lucky for me we worked it out.
So I'd say now days I would pick a gal with a large nest egg and one foot in the grave J/K
As a 24 year old man, I'm more worried about my own credit and debts at the moment. When I do get married & start a family I would like my own debts to be under control. I would also like to have good or decent credit by the time i get married. That would make having a wife a little bit easier IMO!
I find it at that age it is all but impossible to be completely debt free as there are always "start up" costs when you get out on your own. I cheated because I lived in ski resort furnished housing so all I owned was a car, a racing helmet and suit, a computer and a stack of boxes of books in my parents barn and right now I still don't have much more than that. The key I believe is how you manage that debt and what it is for. I'm about to go into debt to get a house and buy furniture, etc. but I see that as investing in the future and it will actually make my life more organized and comfortable.
My business purchases I put on a company card because I can keep track of my purchases but otherwise I try to avoid buying things on credit cards and buy 3 year old cars off lease and pay off the loan quickly.
I think most mature women would think highly of man that is not stingy, but can manage his money well.
I have seen men that try to impress by buying all the latest gear and Omaha Steaks and eating at expensive restaurants. Probably there are some chicks that think that is groovy until they see the guys credit card bills with tens of thousands in debt to pay. My future brother in law is like that but I get all his hand me down slightly used skis and mountain bikes. He's stylin' with the latest goods with a big bill in the mail every month, but I am on last years model for free and I'm just as happy. There are some women that would like him and probably some that would appreciate my approach.
I find it at that age it is all but impossible to be completely debt free as there are always "start up" costs when you get out on your own. I cheated because I lived in ski resort furnished housing so all I owned was a car, a racing helmet and suit, a computer and a stack of boxes of books in my parents barn and right now I still don't have much more than that. The key I believe is how you manage that debt and what it is for. I'm about to go into debt to get a house and buy furniture, etc. but I see that as investing in the future and it will actually make my life more organized and comfortable.
My business purchases I put on a company card because I can keep track of my purchases but otherwise I try to avoid buying things on credit cards and buy 3 year old cars off lease and pay off the loan quickly.
I think most mature women would think highly of man that is not stingy, but can manage his money well.
I have seen men that try to impress by buying all the latest gear and Omaha Steaks and eating at expensive restaurants. Probably there are some chicks that think that is groovy until they see the guys credit card bills with tens of thousands in debt to pay. My future brother in law is like that but I get all his hand me down slightly used skis and mountain bikes. He's stylin' with the latest goods with a big bill in the mail every month, but I am on last years model for free and I'm just as happy. There are some women that would like him and probably some that would appreciate my approach.
Your approach is just fine. The only point I disagree with is the usage of credit cards. I run all monthly expenses I can through a credit card and pay it off every month. I'd put the mortgage on it if I could. Keeping track of expenses is a breeze, it's convenient, and it's bringing me some cash back. Granted, this way of doing things takes discipline.
Her level of formal education isnt that important to me. However, she must be able to participate in an intelligent conversation and she must be smart enough to not live beyond her financial means.
Form of education is not important to me either.. what matters to me is that she is independent.. and can get out of bed every day and do what she is supposed to do... help out with the finances if that is what has been agreed upon between the two of you.
It is all about what you and him agree on.. Having an education will not be the deal breaker in my relationship with anyone.. being lazy.. will!
Not being able to communicate is another deal breaker for me. A lot of women know how to talk about themselves all the time and that is about it.. When you try to talk about something you wanna talk about .. it isnt that important then...
I could see how an education could be a factor. For example a scholar businessman would probably have more in common with someone of his likes, but sometimes common interests clash. The financial aspect in my opinion shouldn't. I can see how initially if you are a gazillionare you would be cautious of women who come from nothing because of where their interests are, but if your love life is based in any way on money you have issues. Ultimately I think chemistry, loyalty, passion, family, interests, views, and those special feelings that matter are all that counts. Im sure some would disagree in this day and age, call me old fashoned. I call it right.
1) how important is it the woman have a college degree? can she still be working on it?
On a scale of 1 to 10, maybe a 2. A degree doesn't mean much to me, and I've never figured my wife was supposed to be the bread winner. I like intelligent women, but a college degree is a pretty poor indicator for that. My late wife was the most intelligent person I've ever known, and she had one year of college, while some of the dumbest people I know have college degrees.
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Originally Posted by sportsfangal
2) how important is finances? I don't mean being in debt, or lousy credit, but does she have to have a huge nest egg?
If she can balance a checkbook and keep it in the black, that's good enough. A big debt would be a no-no, but I'd not be looking for the goose who lays golden eggs. An old neighbor of mine who married into money used to say he'd never marry for money, but he wouldn't run away from a woman just because she had it either.
Guys, what are your thoughts on education/finances when it comes to a woman you want as a potential partner?
what I mean is, 1) how important is it the woman have a college degree? can she still be working on it?
2) how important is finances? I don't mean being in debt, or lousy credit, but does she have to have a huge nest egg?
just curious about objective opinions, thanks!
I haven't read the other responses as I'm in a hurry, but here are my thoughts.
I could care less about her pedigree. To me it means nothing whether she has a degree or not.
As to debt or lousy credit, this I would be cautious about. I have found that many people with one or both of those frequently (but not always) have personal issues that led to it and it can be a warning sign. My best friend married a gal like this only to find out she is a manic depression type and spends out of anxiety. He never saw it coming and has lost over $300,000 in 10 years over it. They are now broke and she still will not confront her problems.
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J/K
