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Old 01-02-2009, 02:32 PM
 
9,846 posts, read 22,677,486 times
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Yeah I would be concerned.

He doesn't have any business chatting with an ex girlfriend.
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Old 01-02-2009, 02:36 PM
 
3,762 posts, read 5,423,774 times
Reputation: 4832
I don't think she should secretly spy on him. Everything she does should be out in the open. The op is doing nothing wrong by reading emails her husband is sending to another woman and if they are just friends her husband should have no problem with her reading them.

One last thing to the op. Do not kick him out of the house or say anything indicating that you want a separation. He will use it as an excuse to sleep with her and then blame you for it. If he puts up a great fight over you reading the messages you need to decide within yourself what you will do next. If you want to divorce him don't give him any hints. It should come as a complete shock to him when he receives the papers. Just go on about your business as normal. If you are the type who doesn't like to be alone and you are pretty good at finding decent guys, start discretely looking for his replacement now.
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Old 01-02-2009, 02:42 PM
 
Location: Coachella Valley, California
15,639 posts, read 41,038,202 times
Reputation: 13472
Quote:
Originally Posted by trishguard View Post
I don't think she should secretly spy on him. Everything she does should be out in the open. The op is doing nothing wrong by reading emails her husband is sending to another woman and if they are just friends her husband should have no problem with her reading them.

One last thing to the op. Do not kick him out of the house or say anything indicating that you want a separation. He will use it as an excuse to sleep with her and then blame you for it. If he puts up a great fight over you reading the messages you need to decide within yourself what you will do next. If you want to divorce him don't give him any hints. It should come as a complete shock to him when he receives the papers. Just go on about your business as normal. If you are the type who doesn't like to be alone and you are pretty good at finding decent guys, start discretely looking for his replacement now.
Somehow I have the feeling the OP's husband isn't going to let her see the emails. I normally would not advocate going the spy route, but in this case it sounds like it is exactly what she needs to do. He has already put forth his stance when he told her that nobody is going to make him not have contact with his ex. This to me, indicates a sneaky man who is not going to allow his wife access to his emails. She can install a program that he would not be able to detect and have all the proof she needs to make an informed decision about how to proceed with this matter.
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Old 01-02-2009, 02:55 PM
 
3,762 posts, read 5,423,774 times
Reputation: 4832
Quote:
Originally Posted by Twinkle Toes View Post
Somehow I have the feeling the OP's husband isn't going to let her see the emails. I normally would not advocate going the spy route, but in this case it sounds like it is exactly what she needs to do. He has already put forth his stance when he told her that nobody is going to make him not have contact with his ex. This to me, indicates a sneaky man who is not going to allow his wife access to his emails. She can install a program that he would not be able to detect and have all the proof she needs to make an informed decision about how to proceed with this matter.
If she has brothers they should beat her husband up. At least that would make me feel better.
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Old 01-02-2009, 02:57 PM
 
13,784 posts, read 26,251,255 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by trishguard View Post
If she has brothers they should beat her husband up. At least that would make me feel better.
Now you're talkin' Nothing like a good a** whippin from a ticked off brother
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Old 01-02-2009, 02:59 PM
 
Location: Coachella Valley, California
15,639 posts, read 41,038,202 times
Reputation: 13472
Quote:
Originally Posted by trishguard View Post
If she has brothers they should beat her husband up. At least that would make me feel better.
Okay - now you're talkin'!!! I would volunteer my brothers and my muscle-bound son for this kind of thing!!!
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Old 01-02-2009, 03:00 PM
 
Location: Tucson
42,831 posts, read 88,162,128 times
Reputation: 22814
Where are all the advocates of being "buddies" with exes? Nowhere to be seen..
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Old 01-02-2009, 03:01 PM
 
Location: Coachella Valley, California
15,639 posts, read 41,038,202 times
Reputation: 13472
Quote:
Originally Posted by sierraAZ View Post
Where are all the advocates of being "buddies" with exes? Nowhere to be seen..
They're out making friends with the exes!

They're like the Sparkletts water man - remember that jingle in the old commercials ... "Me and Sparkletts Water makin' friends ..."
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Old 01-02-2009, 03:02 PM
 
1,591 posts, read 3,552,733 times
Reputation: 1176
And if he doesn't think its a big deal, print out all these posts to show him that a whole bunch of us think its wrong.
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Old 01-02-2009, 03:02 PM
 
37,617 posts, read 45,996,704 times
Reputation: 57199
Quote:
Originally Posted by sierraAZ View Post
Where are all the advocates of being "buddies" with exes? Nowhere to be seen..
Ex-WIVES? Yes. Ex-GIRLFRIENDS? Hell no.
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