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Good for you settinga such a great example for your children. You hear so many terrible stories of exes fighting and putting the children in the middle.
Location: In my own little corner... sittin' in Jax FL
589 posts, read 1,635,209 times
Reputation: 331
I think it is wonderful! I sincerely hope that it works that way for my situation too!
Heck, I let him stay here even when he was going down there every other weekend... to every weekend. Not to mention him being emotional absent when he was physically present.
I too get along with my ex; there were no children involved, but we live in the same small town and I see her and her family regularly. Her siblings and parents treat me as if I was still around, and they too enjoy seeing the grandchildren they never had from (from us). My wife has even met the ex and her family, it's nice when everyone gets along.
Much better to get along with the ex, ESPECIALLY when children are involved. I still hold a little resentment towards her and don't care to be buddies, but she's welcome in my home to pickup our grandkids, etc.
A couple years ago my grown daughter invited my wife and I to her mom's (my ex's) place on the lake for a day on ex's boat. We said no, and that disappointed my daughter a little, but we didn't think we'd be comfortable. Part of that is because I gave her mostly all of our assets when we divorced, so she used that money to buy a new sports car, a lake home, the biggest boat on the lake, etc., etc. Meanwhile we're struggling. It's my fault, but it's just the way I feel. We don't want to friends, but certainly friendLY.
do any of you have this sort of relationship with an ex spouse-and do people look at you like you are some sort of alien??
Yes. I get on very well with my ex...always have. We both love our son, and only want what is best for him.
No, I don't feel like an alien, but I do feel very lucky.
Getting along with an ex, being able to be civil, not having to bash him/her, and even being a type of friend is a sign you have moved on. Passions, jealousies, anger, envy, resentments are all put aside and if for no other reason because it's best for the children that should still have two parents and not be made to feel like they are being torn.
It is healthy because whatever water under the bridge is left to be that. Maybe if there were no children involved it would seem a little strange, especially all having lunch together, but when everyone is participating in some way in raising children and caring for them, a little friendship can go a long way.
I think your behavior is just fine. I have a similar relationship with my ex, my son's father. I couldn't stand being married to him but he is not a bad person. He is remarried and we get along. We don't go out to lunch or anything like that, but if i'm dropping off my son, he invites me in, we chit chat, the wife is there, yada yada yada. The way I see it, like you said, he ain't going anywhere anytime soon so we might as well have an amicable relationship. That is called being mature adults. No need to be enemies just because a romantic relationship didn't work out. And plus, it's definitely better for the kids. Who the heck needs all the drama?!
Good for you, for some reason people act like you're an alien when you tell them that you get along with an ex and their new "other". My husband's ex and I were friends long before she or I met him. At first she hated me because she thought I had taken him from her but like I explained I'd dated him first and there must have been something there for us to end up back together. Now we are the best of friends again we all do family things together birthday parties, sports events, you name it. Her new guy is still trying to get used to the whole thing but hey the kids are what matter more than anything and as long as they are happy, then everyone else can mind their own business!
So tell you ex bashing co workers if they were more like you and sit down and think before they act they may realize that they don't really hate their ex's after all but they are just going along with what is "usually the normal relationship for ex's".
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Ditto from me...
I knew it could be done. 
