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It's also tough because he was the perfect guy on paper. (and it's hard to find a guy that matches up to this) By that I mean he is highly educated, has a great career-makes good money, and could provide the lifestyle that every girl dreams of.
Honestly, for me that does not sound like the perfect guy on paper. That only shows he has material needs he could provide. Not to sound all feminist nazi here, but really, why does one (not say YOU implied this) need a man to provide a lifestyle for them?
I would recommend starting to look for someone who is kind, generous, thoughtful, considerate, intelligent and does not always put himself first. I would also recommend finding a job to support whatever lifestyle you want so you don't have to look for a guy who can provide it.
Ah, and regarding on-line dating. Never tried it personally, but based on friends' experiences it seems pretty much the same as regular dating, just opens up the dating pool a little bit more, and maybe opens up the possibility of meeting a match that you would not otherwise meet through your daily activities and hobbies.
Thanks Runrgirl! Your story is so encouraging. I will be 35 this year and it's unfortunate but our society makes you feel like you are a social outcast if you hit 35 and have never been married and have no kids. After the experiences I've had in life, I honestly believe that most people are probably better husbands, wives, and parents after the age of 30. I guess I was brainwashed to believe that I would have this fairytale relationship. You know the one, married with 2.5 kids, a dog, and a big house with a white picket fence by the age of 30 (lol).
EasternerDC I hear ya! I don't need anyone to support me. I am highly educated myself and I do have a good job. I am some what of a feminist myself. That's why i left him. (lol) I couldn't stand being with a controlling man.
I echo what everybody else says about trying online dating as another option in meeting more people. Another avenue is speed dating.
There is also a site called meetup where you can meet and get together with people who have similiar interests (music, theater, restaurants, what have you).
I know it's hard getting back out there. Good luck.
Thanks for the advice. I was so in love and got hurt soooo bad that I just shut down for a very long time. I wondering if this has happened to anyone else or am I just weird (lol). Honestly, I haven't been looking for guys. I buried myself in work and getting another degree for the past few years. I also reflect back on the relationship that I had alot. I'm wondering if I am still in love with him (crazy right) or if I just need someone to feel the void. My life has been out of synch and off track ever since I left him.Now that I'm getting close to 35, I get the "you're still single" remarks which does not help.
So what if "you're still single"??? You don't need another person to "complete" you. Let the comments roll off your back. Being 35 and single isn't the most horrible thing in the world - far from it. You need to learn who YOU are and learn to love yourself. Go out and get involved in things you think you would enjoy doing. Get a hobby - get a whole bunch. Your life is out of sync because you let it get away from you. Go get your life back!
Thanks. I think it's hard because I did truly love him. Although I now realize that my situation was a blessing in disguise because I would have probably been divorced by now. It's also tough because he was the perfect guy on paper. (and it's hard to find a guy that matches up to this) By that I mean he is highly educated, has a great career-makes good money, and could provide the lifestyle that every girl dreams of. However, he was emotionally empty, self-centered, and emotionally abusive (manipulative, controlling). A lot of women would have stayed for the lifestyle but I wanted more. I wanted a man who respected women and who is emotionally available.
I will definitely try online dating now. Has anyone every met quality people through online dating?
Constantly reminding you of how lucky you were to have him? Sorry, but this does not sound like the perfect guy to me. He sounds like a pompous *sshole.
Thanks. I think it's hard because I did truly love him.... he was emotionally empty, self-centered, and emotionally abusive (manipulative, controlling)....
And you truly loved him?
I don't think you miss HIM as much as you miss SOMEONE. You're thinking about him because you have nobody else to think about. Date! Get out there. The internet is a good way, as has been mentioned.
Good luck!
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