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Old 02-08-2009, 09:19 PM
 
102 posts, read 255,263 times
Reputation: 58

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Quote:
Originally Posted by gammerus View Post



This doesn't help when he constantly talks about how hot other women are, and how much he wants to get physical with them.
that should be a red flag right there. i know spending 3 years with someone is a long time for you to think of your life without them, but you need to ask yourself if you're settling. you deserve to be treated like a princess, feel like you're the most important person in his life and adored. it looks like he's not willing to 'give' anymore in your relationship. you should open up with him, tell him how you feel and what you expect out of the relationship, then see if he can meet your expectations. if not, then do you really want to waste anymore time with him when you could be spending that time with the person you're meant to be with forever?
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Old 02-09-2009, 12:13 AM
 
3,852 posts, read 12,849,434 times
Reputation: 2529
Quote:
Originally Posted by StuckPA View Post
Men thrive on variety,long term relationships are stifling. I think our spark went out too.
Yes, yes we do
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Old 02-09-2009, 03:39 AM
 
Location: New England
1,211 posts, read 2,569,998 times
Reputation: 2227
I'll agree that it is time to move on, especially that it's your first relationship.
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Old 02-09-2009, 08:55 AM
 
78,016 posts, read 60,232,230 times
Reputation: 49415
A couple thoughts:

1) If you have let yourself go a bit....diet and exercise. This advice is for all sexes. Nothing like looking *new* and better to spark things up.

2) Buy your S.O. something *naughty*....perhaps a book with things you could try, surprise them with a new outfit etc. etc. etc.

3) Just move on. No drama, no blame, it's just not working out...maybe sometime in the future, be mature.

4) Take a break...sexually or otherwise.

5) Promise each other that you will have no *release* without the other partner present...its possible that your bf is into porn and\or self-help? Go a week without and you will be pouncing on each other.
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Old 02-09-2009, 08:57 AM
 
Location: newyork
72 posts, read 190,079 times
Reputation: 39
the spark can never die only if you let it
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Old 02-09-2009, 09:52 AM
 
Location: The Great State of Texas, Finally!
5,469 posts, read 12,219,806 times
Reputation: 2810
yes, the relationship has run its course. Here's the thing: the longer you stay in, the more chance you have of being hurt. He's already telling you he wants to get wet and sticky with hot women. This is his way of getting you to break up with him because he doesn't have the balls to be the bad guy. Actually, he doesn't have the man balls at all, so he's going to start doing things like withholding affection, talking about other women, sowing the seeds if mistreatment and alienation so that YOU'LL get fed up and break up. If you hang on, his efforts will double. So I say, get out now. Don't be all dramatic or weepy about it. Just be strong and do it with grace and class. Say you don't think this relationship is working for YOU. Don't make it about him, because really, he isn't giving you what you need anyway. Save the crying for your family and girlfriends. Girlfriends are great for pampering you when you go through a breakup.....and Ben and Jerry's is pretty good for that too!
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Old 02-09-2009, 10:36 AM
 
Location: Incognito
7,005 posts, read 21,300,684 times
Reputation: 5522
Give him a reality check. Go out and have fun (but do not cheat on him or see other people) with your friends.
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Old 02-09-2009, 11:14 AM
 
Location: Ocean Shores, WA
5,092 posts, read 14,803,950 times
Reputation: 10865
What does a "Spark" have to do with it?

All it takes is to put your genitals together and move back and forth.

If you want "Spark" touch his balls with a stun gun.
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Old 02-09-2009, 11:39 AM
 
8,411 posts, read 39,215,832 times
Reputation: 6366
Quote:
Originally Posted by gammerus View Post
We have been together for three and a half years and I have been happy throughout most of it.

But the past few months my boyfriend has been stingy with his affection. I have complained about this a few times because after a while it is rather difficult to be constantly ignored and denied physical affection. I would kiss him, but he would never kiss me back, sometimes it feels like he avoids it. At first I chalked it up to stress because I know he was having a very hard time with his college courses, but it hasn't ceased even after finals were over.

When I talked to him about it he told me he felt kinda smothered so I gave him some space. then he said he felt the relationship was stale, and he felt rather neutral about the whole situation. But he insists he feels fine about the whole thing, but he has pretty much lost his sex drive, and he is just as stingy with his affection. The only difference is that if I ask he will hold my hand

This doesn't help when he constantly talks about how hot other women are, and how much he wants to get physical with them.

I love him more than anything, and I really want to work it out, but I just don't think I have it in me to keep going. I'm getting so annoyed at him for blowing it off and telling me that this is just what happens when you get past a certain time period, and he basically acts like this is how it is going to stay.

(I should also mention that this is my first relationship, as well as his, so this is a learning experience for both of us)
You love someone who disrespects your feelings...Yeh you better learn before this becomes a pattern!

Why settle when you haven't even dated around much?

Being dull is one thing...outright disrespectful and openly coveting...That is just BS.

And dont you DARE lose one ounce of yourself for this jerk-o. Lose every single pound of him and take care of yourself inside and out. Then you can parade your happy little butt around with your new much hotter and sweeter boyfriend.
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Old 02-09-2009, 11:40 AM
 
8,411 posts, read 39,215,832 times
Reputation: 6366
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mathguy View Post
A couple thoughts:

1) If you have let yourself go a bit....diet and exercise. This advice is for all sexes. Nothing like looking *new* and better to spark things up.

2) Buy your S.O. something *naughty*....perhaps a book with things you could try, surprise them with a new outfit etc. etc. etc.

3) Just move on. No drama, no blame, it's just not working out...maybe sometime in the future, be mature.

4) Take a break...sexually or otherwise.

5) Promise each other that you will have no *release* without the other partner present...its possible that your bf is into porn and\or self-help? Go a week without and you will be pouncing on each other.
Pigs like this dont deserve the effort.
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