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1. My husband constantly is on his computer and is very into computer gaming. When we first met he did not play this game. Now he never seems interested in trying anything new. We do the same stuff together...movies and eating.
Is it common for married couples to not have alot in common? (I think it is important and my hubby does not.)
Is it common for men to be obessed with their hobbies?
2. He basically refuses to work out while I workout to look good for him and myself. He says it is common for women to work out and men not. I think this is a load of crap!
1. My husband constantly is on his computer and is very into computer gaming. When we first met he did not play this game. Now he never seems interested in trying anything new. We do the same stuff together...movies and eating.
Is it common for married couples to not have alot in common? (I think it is important and my hubby does not.)
Is it common for men to be obessed with their hobbies?
2. He basically refuses to work out while I workout to look good for him and myself. He says it is common for women to work out and men not. I think this is a load of crap!
What do you all think?
3. He is 31 and terrified of being a Dad?
Do alot of men feel this way before parenthood?
Any other newlywed advice welcome!
Allow me to answer your questions, my answers are in BOLD:
. My husband constantly is on his computer and is very into computer gaming. When we first met he did not play this game. Now he never seems interested in trying anything new. We do the same stuff together...movies and eating.
Is it common for married couples to not have alot in common? (I think it is important and my hubby does not.) It's that TOO COMMON for married couples to NOT have alot in common, but there are a good number of married couples out there that actually don't have common hobbies, and I think it's good that each person in a marriage express their individuality by having different likings to different things.
Is it common for men to be obessed with their hobbies? Yes. Just like how we like to go shopping (via physically going out to malls or online shopping, etc.) and talking to our girlfriends about anything, their hobbies and being obsessed with them is their way of trying to "chill" or "vent" from their stressful day at work.
2. He basically refuses to work out while I workout to look good for him and myself. He says it is common for women to work out and men not. I think this is a load of crap! AGain, going back to #1, just because YOU like to work out does NOT mean he HAS to do the same. How would you like it if, for example, you hate hiking w/ a passion but he does? I'm sure you won't want to be pressured to go for an early morning hiking if you don't like to do so. Don't try to control your husband. You married him for the way he is, NOT for the way YOU want him to be.
What do you all think?
3. He is 31 and terrified of being a Dad? Believe it or not, every man's stage of life is different. Just because he's 31 does not automatically equate him being ready to be a father. Again, a woman's "biological clock" is different than a man's.
Good advice! In regards to the computer games he plays alot. I mean alot! I do not know if you know what World Of Warcraft is...if you do...you should know what I mean! hah
1. yes its common to get obsessed with our hobbies, however gaming is hardly a hobby. I couldn't imagine sitting all the time like that.
2. If he doesn't take care of himself its going to come back and bite him in the ass later. Kudos to you for working out and keeping yourself in shape. Not sure how to motivate him to work out. Except keep it up yourself and maybe he'll realize he's wrong.
3. Kids are awesome. Theres nothing to be afraid of unless its selfish reasons. yes its a sacrifice but the most rewarding sacrifice one can make.
At 31 its time to step up and be a man. My advice to you would be to break the computer somehow. Maybe "accidentally" format the thing.
It seems like he just settled into a familiar, husband-ish role and doesn't feel the need now to do anything different or keep himself up?
I would be concerned about the computer games and not working out. it's not healthy.
Can you suggest he go to the gym with you after work? that would get him off the computer for a while and help him get in shape. It's not usual for men not to stay or want to get in shape.
you may just have to sit him down and really hash this out, it has the potential to become real ugly as the years go on. and if he's not that connected now, imagine when you have kids?
make a list of your concerns and go from there, hopefully he will be willing to listen and improve while it's relatively early in the marriage.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Josci
Hello,
I was hoping to get some obective opinions!
1. My husband constantly is on his computer and is very into computer gaming. When we first met he did not play this game. Now he never seems interested in trying anything new. We do the same stuff together...movies and eating.
Is it common for married couples to not have alot in common? (I think it is important and my hubby does not.)
Is it common for men to be obessed with their hobbies?
2. He basically refuses to work out while I workout to look good for him and myself. He says it is common for women to work out and men not. I think this is a load of crap!
He has always been thin as have I, but as the years go on we have both put on weight. We are not overweight or thin now,average. Our metabolism will slow down and we cannot stop it! He refuses the gym. I feel like every physical activity I present is a NO. He did say he would be more open to working out if we had a home gym. We live in a townhome now and do not have space until we get a house....so that will not be an option for awhile.
He loves dogs so I thought about us getting a dog. We could take it for walks and to the park....just an idea.
He has always been thin as have I, but as the years go on we have both put on weight. We are not overweight or thin now,average. Our metabolism will slow down and we cannot stop it! He refuses the gym. I feel like every physical activity I present is a NO. He did say he would be more open to working out if we had a home gym. We live in a townhome now and do not have space until we get a house....so that will not be an option for awhile.
He loves dogs so I thought about us getting a dog. We could take it for walks and to the park....just an idea.
3- Fatherhood is the most wonderful gift you could ever give him.
Yeeeeeeshhhh..... Not if he doesn't WANT it, it's not! Give me a break, not everyone does backflips at the aspect of being responsible for the emotional and finanancial care of another human being for the next 18+ years. Not to mention the amount of personal freedom that is lost when you have a child.
If he does not want children and she does, then she needs to take another good, hard look at this relationship. There is no faster way to ruin a marriage than to force the other spouse to do something they don't want to do regarding children.
OMG I am soo addicted to this!! My friend introduce me to it over Christmas & I am looking for one of my own now. Forget the gym... this is way more fun!
PS.. My New Years Resolution was to spend less time on these forum boards that I am addicted to start working out. It is easy to get interested in something on the computer & before you know it - hours have passed. (it also keeps you from interacting with your loved ones - time you could be spending with them)
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