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I would hate moving around like that...the boxes would make me crazy!!
Ha, this is funny - DH and I have been big movers these last few years too (within the same town, and now in a different city for a job move). I was going to suggest that maybe rather than social climbing, they were trying to climb the property ladder as we were?? But that seems unlikely if they have a house on the market now with current market conditions.
Quote:
Originally Posted by dvcgal
From personal experience, I have a hard time settling down just because growing up we moved often or I had to change schools several times due to rezoning and what-not. I find myself not able to really stay in one place for more than a few years and then I'm ready for a change and something new to come my way. .
I've always joked that I find it difficult to commit to a place to live too. That's why we're holding off from buying a house. I find the thought of a 'forever house' very claustrophobic. Luckily I don't feel the same way about husbands!!
Quote:
Originally Posted by mrstewart
OK, perhaps more details are needed...these folks are very socially competitive. When they moved in they asked me to throw a cocktail party for them with the neighbors they felt were high brow...their son came to the house one day with a list in his pocket that his mother had written. On this paper was a list of children whose parents are "hi brow" (in their opinion).
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Hilarious - sounds like a great way to make friends and influence people!!
I can safely say that we have never moved because we didn't like the neighbors, or wanted a 'higher class' of neighbor. In fact we're still quite close with several of our old neighbors, and make an active effort with new neighbors when we move.
We moved because we started in a tiny one bedroom and wanted more space. We moved in, renovated and sold. 5 times in the last 5 years.
I know it's not for everyone, but we ended up in a beautiful brownstone which we loved (and with neighbors we loved). I think we would have stayed there for a good number of years if it hadn't been for DH's mammoth commute.
Now I just want to find somewhere we can settle down for a while. By a while, I mean maybe 5 years. After all this moving and renovating, we can now afford some very nice digs, so when the market gets more stable we'll be looking for somewhere to call home for more than 5 minutes.
It sounds like your neighbors are a little strange, but are you sure they just weren't trading up the property ladder? I really don't see anything wrong with that to be honest - it's the only reason we don't have to worry about money right now.
My husband thinks they enjoy being a "big fish in a little pond" and when they moved here they moved into a well established area and a more densely populated area, so they were just one of the regulars...they may not like that...
I tend to agree with your husband. There are those that are relatively new to wealth and/or status and feel that they need to share that info with everyone to impress and make themselves feel important. When it doesn't work out as they had hoped, then they need to find another place or group to project that image of being the best, which is probably where the uber competitive nature comes into play.
Ha, this is funny - DH and I have been big movers these last few years too (within the same town, and now in a different city for a job move). I was going to suggest that maybe rather than social climbing, they were trying to climb the property ladder as we were?? But that seems unlikely if they have a house on the market now with current market conditions.
I've always joked that I find it difficult to commit to a place to live too. That's why we're holding off from buying a house. I find the thought of a 'forever house' very claustrophobic. Luckily I don't feel the same way about husbands!!
Hilarious - sounds like a great way to make friends and influence people!!
I can safely say that we have never moved because we didn't like the neighbors, or wanted a 'higher class' of neighbor. In fact we're still quite close with several of our old neighbors, and make an active effort with new neighbors when we move.
We moved because we started in a tiny one bedroom and wanted more space. We moved in, renovated and sold. 5 times in the last 5 years.
I know it's not for everyone, but we ended up in a beautiful brownstone which we loved (and with neighbors we loved). I think we would have stayed there for a good number of years if it hadn't been for DH's mammoth commute.
Now I just want to find somewhere we can settle down for a while. By a while, I mean maybe 5 years. After all this moving and renovating, we can now afford some very nice digs, so when the market gets more stable we'll be looking for somewhere to call home for more than 5 minutes.
It sounds like your neighbors are a little strange, but are you sure they just weren't trading up the property ladder? I really don't see anything wrong with that to be honest - it's the only reason we don't have to worry about money right now.
We have moved to increase size of home (we have several kids) but they keep making lateral moves in size. They are a trip...
The wife sent out a mass email to the neighbors on the neighborhood message board and asked for parents with kids her sons age to send them to her home because her son had trouble making friends
This is also the neighbor that had the snake in her house and left it there to go to her first neighborhood party
They are just searching in the wrong places, I guess...and they do not keep their friends from previous neighborhoods...sad.
This is a great thread. I move a lot because I have to -- military. If I had a different job, I'd stay put somewhere. I think once you leave your hometown it becomes easier and easier to move, and after you've moved around for awhile, you're never quite satisified because every place you go lacks something that another place you've been to had -- and you find new things that the new place offers that the other place didn't. If I could find a place that was a compilation of the U district in Seattle, the Coeur d'Alene lakeshore area, downtown Colorado Springs, Atlantic Avenue in Virginia Beach and reasonably priced houses in decent neighborhoods close to a city of Atlanta's size, I'd be set. Anyone know any place like that? Oh yeah, it's also got to have all of my favorite local restaraunts from these places, and all the good people I've met through the years have to move there too.
I think that chronic moving becomes a trap, one we're particulalry prone to as moderns because we're trained to consume, to always be on the lookout for the next great thing. We always wonder if there's something we're missing out on somewhere. People come to think of places as products to be consumed, and then wonder what's next? It's the same with people who are always bouncing from relationship to relationship or job to job. I think true happiness, or perhaps a better phrase is "mature happiness" comes from contentment -- being content with what you have and who you are and accepting that no one has it all.
I drive a 1995 Toyota Tercel with a banged up hood (about 40 mph on the highway baby). I love that car; I truly do. There's a long story behind how I got it, which I'm proud of. (I actually made some money because I bought another car, sold it for more than I paid for it and used half of the profits of the sale for the Toyota. It took about a month to do it.) I can afford something nicer. I toy with the idea of buying a mini cooper to commute in from time to time, but after I really think about it, I decide .. nah. It wouldn't make me any happier in the long run. I'd have to start over with a new car and new history. And instead of the happy memories I have of my car, I'd have some memories of a car salesman selling me on the idea of why I should pay so much for the cooper's extras. It would take me at least a decade to build up the same amount of affection for a new car as I have for mine. I'll probably drive that Tercel for another ten years -- it only has 135,000 miles on it and I service it regularly.
If I defined happiness as wanting things that other people want, I wouldn't be at all happy with that car. It's not the kind of car that inspires envy... at first. However, I must say most of the people who know me for awhile come to love that car too... it's pretty bad ass... like an undercover batmobile or something.
One more example -- sorry for the long post, but I assume those who got bored quit reading awhile ago. My wife and I have known each other since we were 14. I dated a few girls before her (puppy dog stuff), but basically she's the only girl I've ever known in that way. She's not perfect, and I'm not the most blissfully happy married man in the world or anything, but I like her. She's the one for me. I didn't plan on settling down in my teens, and we didnt' desperately cling to each other when we were younger .. we just figured if it was going to happen, it was going to happen and we took it easy and let things unfold naturally, which for us meant marriage and a child.
Do I think about what life would be like with someone else? From time to time -- she's 32 now and not quite as firm as she used to be. Not to be conceited but I do get the eye from women in their early to mid 20s here and there, and I think -- what if? (I'm not quite the man I was either physically, but women aren't as shallow as men when it comes to looks .. god bless them.) I suppose I could be another divorced guy starting out again, but when I think about it, I honestly believe I'll never find better than my wife, just different. I can't speak for everyone obviousy, but I think that for me, lack of experience has actually made for a happier marriage. I have a friend who's 25, married her high school sweetheart at 19 and divorced at 21. She's been playing the field ever since, dating some good guys, racking up the numbers, having a casual encounter here and there, determined not to make the same mistake she made with her first love. She doesn't seem to be getting any happier or any wiser though -- just more calloused.
It sounds a little lame, but I wonder if people would be happpier if everyone stayed in their hometowns, married their high school sweethearts, stuck with their first or second real job and with their first house until it was paid off.
He should know as he's be running from himself for sixty years.
Also I think Maslow's hierarchy of needs come into play. Humans are never really satisfied and probably that is good because we have always worked to make our lives better. I know I'm glad not to be living in a cave.
I remember working in Aspen and I knew a lot of trust fund babies. You'd figure with all the money they had and pretty much lacked for nothing they'd be the happiest people around. In fact they were some of the most unhappiest people I've ever met. They all were in analysis or had major issues and their kids were mixed up in drugs or the law or other wise getting into trouble.
The first place in life is to become happy with yourself and accepting who you are. Only then can you claw forward and make progress in your life. Happiness doesn't come from other people or things. They can make your life better but not make you happy.
Bingo! They will keep moving and moving trying to out run themselves!
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Originally Posted by wanneroo
Well like my good friend says
There is no geographic cure
He should know as he's be running from himself for sixty years.
Also I think Maslow's hierarchy of needs come into play. Humans are never really satisfied and probably that is good because we have always worked to make our lives better. I know I'm glad not to be living in a cave.
I remember working in Aspen and I knew a lot of trust fund babies. You'd figure with all the money they had and pretty much lacked for nothing they'd be the happiest people around. In fact they were some of the most unhappiest people I've ever met. They all were in analysis or had major issues and their kids were mixed up in drugs or the law or other wise getting into trouble.
The first place in life is to become happy with yourself and accepting who you are. Only then can you claw forward and make progress in your life. Happiness doesn't come from other people or things. They can make your life better but not make you happy.
I disagree....I think moving around is fun. I can't stand it when someone who has lived in the same place their whole life apply the "running from something" crap. I always retort that they stay in the same place because they are HIDING from the unknown. They like the control of being one place and having everything happen as it does and should. The need the peace of monotony because they are too insecure within to deal with chaos.
Home is where my feet are to me. Everything else is scenery...And whats wrong with stimulating a bit of change. Change is life. Static is death. Arrested development.
It sounds a little lame, but I wonder if people would be happpier if everyone stayed in their hometowns, married their high school sweethearts, stuck with their first or second real job and with their first house until it was paid off.
It depends on who they are as a person. There are some people that having a simple job, starting a family young and living in their hometown works for them. That never would have worked for me because I'm not a simple person with 9 to 5 desires.
So that is thing is being in touch with yourself and living a life you can be happy with. There are a lot of people that enjoy traveling and moving and there is nothing wrong with that. But if they are moving or traveling to escape themselves, they never will. Because they are always there.
CD is filled with people posting threads looking for that geographic cure. If you are unhappy as a person in Vermont, you'll be unhappy in Colorado or Florida or wherever.
My youngest Son I help him Buy a Farm at 15.Thats right he was 15.Few months he quit making Payments so I pyaed for it and traded it for a plce next to my property.
Since then he has had three different places.He is now living in a Camp Traler in Camp Area with his Girlfriend and their New Baby.He is 24 and I really don't see him changing.
I disagree....I think moving around is fun. I can't stand it when someone who has lived in the same place their whole life apply the "running from something" crap. I always retort that they stay in the same place because they are HIDING from the unknown. They like the control of being one place and having everything happen as it does and should. The need the peace of monotony because they are too insecure within to deal with chaos.
Home is where my feet are to me. Everything else is scenery...And whats wrong with stimulating a bit of change. Change is life. Static is death. Arrested development.
Did you read the entire thread?? It is not aimed at wander lust...this is about people who run into social situations they can not handle and leave...this is not about exploration it is about running. They are always trying to blame others for their unhappiness when they never stop to examine themselves and their role in their own lives...
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But that seems unlikely if they have a house on the market now with current market conditions. 
