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I felt like I was the only one investing in it and he was along for the ride if it was convenient for him. If it required him to invest into it, he didn't step up to the plate. I always tried to be a friend. For instance, he's been having a hard time getting up in time for work, so I committed to calling every morning to make sure he was up - even on my days off that I could have slept in. For the past 2 months I have invited him to get together for a night out. He flat out turned me down in December because he didn't feel like it, but then promptly went out with another group of friends that same weekend (it was organized after I had been turned down), and this month he blew me off .. and already has a group outing that he just organized for next weekend that I am not invited to. Today is his B-day, I was going to try to do something nice since his family lives 2500 miles away.. dinner and a cake or something, but I can't bring myself to go out of my way for someone who I do not feel is being straight up with me.
We just can't make people do/like/love/hate/act/behave like we want them to, can we? Learning to accept them the way they are or not deal with them is a dilemma that every human goes through.
Sounds like you made the right decision. I have cut people from my life over the years for the same reason and although it can be difficult letting go, usually we are better off.
Did you tell your friend that it's over, or are you just gradually cutting off contact with him?
No, he is aware. I sent him an email that was a very brief discription that outlined my disappointment - it wasn't emotional or dramatic, just an observation. I stated that I would no longer be calling in the mornings, and that I wished him well and hoped he could find what he is looking for in this life. Altogether, it was about 3 sentences. And then I deleted him from every mode of contact - off my friends list, out of my cell phone, etc.
Opti -
No, we cannot force anyone to fit into what we expect they should be. It is their decision. He made his decision on how he would interact with me, and it is my choice to determine if it is acceptable from what I want in the friendship. This wasn't the first time he and I have had conflict over time vested by both parties into the friendship, but each time we'd been able to overcome it. However, this is my final straw and I will not enable being treated like that.
I felt like I was the only one investing in it and he was along for the ride if it was convenient for him. If it required him to invest into it, he didn't step up to the plate. I always tried to be a friend. For instance, he's been having a hard time getting up in time for work, so I committed to calling every morning to make sure he was up - even on my days off that I could have slept in. For the past 2 months I have invited him to get together for a night out. He flat out turned me down in December because he didn't feel like it, but then promptly went out with another group of friends that same weekend (it was organized after I had been turned down), and this month he blew me off .. and already has a group outing that he just organized for next weekend that I am not invited to. Today is his B-day, I was going to try to do something nice since his family lives 2500 miles away.. dinner and a cake or something, but I can't bring myself to go out of my way for someone who I do not feel is being straight up with me.
Thanks for listening.
I hope you learned your lesson...if you are intent on mothering people, your setting yourself up to be used. A friend must have limits and boundaries to, please dont' make a victim of yourself. Allow people to do things for you.
Yea, you put in 100% of the effort in that friendship. time to move on.
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Time to say NEXT--->
