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I, again, seem to be falling into my routine life and I started feeling low. While my husband works in the night shifts (for 6 months starting Dec08) I don’t have anyone to talk to after I go back home. We hardly see each other during the weekdays as I work in the day shift. I step out of home at about 6:15 and by the time I am back home its 6:30 PM. Cooking, cleaning etc is taking up another 2 hours. By the time I go to bed its 10:00 PM or 10:30. And getting up again at 5:00 AM to shovel the snow, shower and off to work is kind of killing me. And at work I again have to deal with people who are extremely rude to each other. I got so mad at a co-worker this morning for her rudeness that I almost felt like slapping her! Instead I just looked at her without expression and walked away.
All women out there, how are you coping with work/life balance? I don’t seem to be doing a good job.
I would suggest that your husband contribute more to the shoveling, cooking and cleaning. It sounds as if you are doing too much if you are spending 2 hours nightly and shoveling before work. An equal distribution between the two of you, and kids if you have them, would likely help you cope.
Well, sounds like you might have some winter blues too? It ALWAYS gets tougher this time of year.
It might warm up the next couple days so try to get some sun (helps with mood). Also take a good multi-vitamin.
Look on the bright side, there are a number of women doing this WITHOUT a hubby...who is also a scumbag....and contributes nothing or much worse.
Another suggestion, put out a note-pad on the table and write a sweet not to your hubby each day...and have him jot somethng back. I can't tell you how just a little snippet can make you feel a whole lot better. :-)
I don't even have a hubby to displace any of the rote duties, let alone the financial burden. I cope by ensuring that I take time for decompression each day, after work. Just talking about my day with a friend on the phone, or sharing a laugh with my kids helps take the edge off. Sometimes I'll skip some of my domestic duties in favor of spending time with the kids and then get up earlier than usual to unload the dishwasher before everyone else wakes up.
my happiness and satisfaction at work has more to do with my happiness with my life in general (all the stuff in my life that is NOT work) rather than just the job itself
i need to have SOMETHING in my life that gives me great joy, and when that is in place I cope with the other stuff much better. that "something" that brings joy to life can be a sweetheart, lover, companion, fun with the kids, an engaging hobby, a stimulating class, kind and supportive friends, artistic pursuits, dancing, whatever, as long as it is personal to you and brings you joy
it sounds to me like you really miss your husband, which is pretty natural, as he is probably a source of joy and companionship in your life.
it sounds like you don't have a lot of free time or fun time just for yourself to do enjoyable things. Try to make it a MUST to schedule in fun stuff for you in your spare time even if you have very little of it. Don't spend all of it on chores and drudge stuff.
Because that just wears a person out. If a person feels deprived of joy, then it is important for your health, well-being, peace of mind, and happiness, to find things that bring you joy, and build them into your life.
I think you need an attitude adjustment. I mean, hey! You have a job....there are plenty of people who can't say that right now!
I work full-time, and I LOVE that I have a job. I'd be way more stressed if I was unemployed, believe me.
I don't have any children (by choice) so that leaves me free in my off-work time to relax and do the things I enjoy. I'm very happily married, and my husband is wonderful at sharing in the housework and cooking. I mean, sure...I have stresses too (life isn't perfect), but I'm not at the level where I feel I'm "coping".
Be happy that you and your husband are both employed. Be happy that you HAVE a driveway to plow the snow off of. Just adjust your attitude a bit, and I think you'll eliminate a lot of your stress.
Even though it seems like you have it pretty bad, there's always someone else out there that has it worse. You do have time to yourself. I didn't hear you say anything about kids, so you don't have to deal with taking care of others, just yourself.
Do you volunteer anywhere or belong to any clubs or groups? Do you have any friends or family that you spend time with regularly? There has to be more to your life than just your husband, work and house.
I am a single working mom with no family near by and I manage to have a full life with no complaints. I manage by organizing my time well, ranking my priorities. I don't pay attention to people that don't affect my life like co-workers and such. These people are peripheral and don't impact my mood. I tend to the routine first, and make sure I call my friends and family regularly and make time for things I love to do.
It seems that you're bored and that's why you're focusing on those little annoyances that really don't matter. Focus on the important things and work on filling your time with things you want to do rather than just with those you have to do.
I would suggest that your husband contribute more to the shoveling, cooking and cleaning. It sounds as if you are doing too much if you are spending 2 hours nightly and shoveling before work. An equal distribution between the two of you, and kids if you have them, would likely help you cope.
I concur 100%. Sounds to me like your husband is not doing enough around the house with daily chores. He needs to do some laundry, shovel snow, and wash some dishes, too.
I agree that it is difficult to balance work, home responsibilities, outside interests, relationship, etc. I don't feel like I'm doing a very good job of it, personally. I feel like I am not very efficient in terms of keeping on top of the housework, groceries, errands, cooking, laundry, etc. If I clean twice a week then my house is clean for those two days only, then it becomes a mess. I also feel like I don't see enough of my hubby. He works about 65 hours per week and has a few activities he does on top of those hours as well a few evenings a week. I get resentful a lot that he is not spending enough time with me, as my schedule is lighter than his.
But since your hubby has to work at night, maybe you can focus on getting all the chores/housework, etc. done by the weekend so that the weekend can be spent on time just for the two of you. Can you plan a weekly date night, say every Saturday night, where you go out to eat and see a movie? Date night has worked well for us, because I know that even though I don't seem my hubby much during the week, I look forward to date night as a "scheduled" time just for us.
I don't really have any advice about the chores issue, as I am not handing that well either--I think I spend way too much time on chores.
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