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Old 02-04-2009, 06:48 AM
 
Location: NE PA
7,932 posts, read 14,708,487 times
Reputation: 4406

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Quote:
Originally Posted by kibblesandbits View Post
There was an article on yahoo today that discussed the concept of the "office spouse"--i.e. someone of the opposite sex at work whom you confide in, hang out with, and even flirt with. I don't know how to post the article but it was very interesting.

What do you think about this? Is it okay to have an "office spouse"?

Personally, as a married woman, I think this is completely wrong. I don't think that men and women should be "emotionally intimate" at work as the article was discussing. I think that sharing deep thoughts and feelings, talking about your marriage, and discussing personal matters should be left only to your spouse and same sex friends.
I agree...I see this all the time at work. I think its OK to have friends of the opposite sex at work, but with some it seems to cross a line into a sort of relationship. If you're married, you shouldn't need THAT kind of realtionship at work. I mean its an 8-hour day and you're there to work, not flirt.
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Old 02-04-2009, 07:38 AM
 
12,230 posts, read 12,266,116 times
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My office spouse and I had to seperate, against our will -- job transfer. I miss her. I suppose I could propose to one of the current women I work with, but they're not good office marriage material.

I think these relationships are fine, if the real spouses are cool with them. I've always had female and male friends, and my wife is ok with that. I've talked about opposite sex friendships with women before, and some say: oh no, if you were my husband, I'd kill you. Well, I wouldn't be married to a woman like that. I've never crossed the line, but I've been close enough to it to know it's there and be wary of it. I think I'm perfectly capable of controlling myself, and lucky for me, my wife agrees.
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Old 02-04-2009, 07:59 AM
 
Location: Fiji
647 posts, read 1,968,976 times
Reputation: 424
Quote:
Originally Posted by kibblesandbits View Post
There was an article on yahoo today that discussed the concept of the "office spouse"--i.e. someone of the opposite sex at work whom you confide in, hang out with, and even flirt with. I don't know how to post the article but it was very interesting.

What do you think about this? Is it okay to have an "office spouse"?

Personally, as a married woman, I think this is completely wrong. I don't think that men and women should be "emotionally intimate" at work as the article was discussing. I think that sharing deep thoughts and feelings, talking about your marriage, and discussing personal matters should be left only to your spouse and same sex friends.
I work in a setting with nearly 85% women (I'm a man who works a non-teaching job in a school setting) and I talk with women all day, but as for any personal stuff......I don't even go there at all. Too dangerous, one thing leads to another, etc... I've seen this happen a few times, where it starts off very subtle and innocent, then over time, becomes a relationship wrecker.
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Old 02-04-2009, 08:29 AM
 
Location: The Great State of Texas, Finally!
5,387 posts, read 11,444,164 times
Reputation: 2556
I have an office husband. I also have a bunch of big brothers at work who are keen on helping with car repairs, moving heavy things, etc. Nothing wrong with it so long as you know where to keep it.
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Old 02-04-2009, 10:41 AM
 
Location: Denver
456 posts, read 1,497,636 times
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I have an office husband. He's my closest friend at work and the person I always confide in. We buy each other lunch from time to time or share our food, but that is it.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with that.
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Old 02-04-2009, 01:05 PM
 
Location: The REAL WORLD.
21,274 posts, read 5,955,746 times
Reputation: 9440
I don't have an office spouse where I currently work and miss not having one.
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Old 02-04-2009, 01:33 PM
 
Location: NE PA
7,932 posts, read 14,708,487 times
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I don't need an office spouse, I already have a wife that I'm perfectly happy with.
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Old 02-04-2009, 01:57 PM
 
8,519 posts, read 14,665,434 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kibblesandbits View Post
There was an article on yahoo today that discussed the concept of the "office spouse"--i.e. someone of the opposite sex at work whom you confide in, hang out with, and even flirt with. I don't know how to post the article but it was very interesting.

What do you think about this? Is it okay to have an "office spouse"?

Personally, as a married woman, I think this is completely wrong. I don't think that men and women should be "emotionally intimate" at work as the article was discussing. I think that sharing deep thoughts and feelings, talking about your marriage, and discussing personal matters should be left only to your spouse and same sex friends.
First of all, I don't see why it matters if the friend is of the opposite sex. A lot of people have friends who aren't the same gender. If you trust your partner, you shouldn't have a problem with it. Second, sometimes it's easier to talk to someone you work with, especially if it's about stuff going on at work. No matter how close you are to your partner, they can't always understand what it's like for you at your job, particularly they're in a completely different field. Third, people flirt all the time and it's usually harmless.
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Old 02-04-2009, 02:32 PM
 
350 posts, read 3,952,273 times
Reputation: 551
Quote:
Originally Posted by DennyCrane View Post
Third, people flirt all the time and it's usually harmless.
I would be horrified if I saw/knew of my husband flirting with another woman. And I would never flirt with another man. I think it's completely disrespectful to your spouse. I have never been flirted with since I've been married nor have I ever flirted with anyone. It would feel completely wrong.

I had never heard of this concept of the "office spouse" before I read this article but it seems like a lot of people have them. I still think the concept of the office spouse is disrespectful to your spouse. Friendly conversation about work or about light topics like sports or travel is one thing with a colleague of the opposite sex, but having lunch with an opposite sex colleague alone, or talking about personal topics, your marriage or personal problems--I think that's crossing a major line and is extremely disrespectful to your spouse.
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Old 02-04-2009, 04:46 PM
 
Location: Jacksonville, Fl
838 posts, read 1,749,545 times
Reputation: 490
Quote:
Originally Posted by kibblesandbits View Post
I would be horrified if I saw/knew of my husband flirting with another woman. And I would never flirt with another man. I think it's completely disrespectful to your spouse. I have never been flirted with since I've been married nor have I ever flirted with anyone. It would feel completely wrong.

I had never heard of this concept of the "office spouse" before I read this article but it seems like a lot of people have them. I still think the concept of the office spouse is disrespectful to your spouse. Friendly conversation about work or about light topics like sports or travel is one thing with a colleague of the opposite sex, but having lunch with an opposite sex colleague alone, or talking about personal topics, your marriage or personal problems--I think that's crossing a major line and is extremely disrespectful to your spouse.
Kibbles, you and will just have to agree to disagree. My wife does not think I'm being disrespectful to her because I have a work spouse. Mary is a real good friend; she just happens to be female. Because she is female, we flirt sometimes. But it's harmless, and all concerned know it.
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