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Can't you just tell him something like, "I've enjoyed being friends with you, Gary, but it's causing some drama and it would just be best for everyone if we didn't talk anymore"? I can't imagine that he doesn't know his girlfriend is so green-eyed about his friendship with you. He may even be relieved because he's been trying to figure out how to break up with you, friend-wise.
I could. And I may. I just don't want to. I don't want to pull back from the rest of them either, at least not the ones I respect. It's a messed up situation. It'll work out, I'm sure.
Jealous chick has made some comments and assertions to a couple of people since I posted this. Again, all untrue. I have stopped communicating with her. I should say I have stopped responding to her.
I have also pulled back from most of the others. The few I still communicate with asked me what was going on. My response was that I really don't have much in common with the others anymore and I left it at that. If these few want to get together, it will have to be away from the rest.
I told jealous chick's boyfriend about my decision to pull back. He had no idea about what happened in my first posting, or the recent yapping. His response was "Well, she never told ME about any of that." Of course she wouldn't. Anyways, I told him that it was completely up to him if he wanted to maintain contact. She is not going to be happy with the fact that I want nothing to do with her while being open to staying in touch with him. I'm not with her, he is, so he needs to weigh that out.
Jealous chick has made some comments and assertions to a couple of people since I posted this. Again, all untrue. I have stopped communicating with her. I should say I have stopped responding to her.
I have also pulled back from most of the others. The few I still communicate with asked me what was going on. My response was that I really don't have much in common with the others anymore and I left it at that. If these few want to get together, it will have to be away from the rest.
I told jealous chick's boyfriend about my decision to pull back. He had no idea about what happened in my first posting, or the recent yapping. His response was "Well, she never told ME about any of that." Of course she wouldn't. Anyways, I told him that it was completely up to him if he wanted to maintain contact. She is not going to be happy with the fact that I want nothing to do with her while being open to staying in touch with him. I'm not with her, he is, so he needs to weigh that out.
That's all good and fine but it may be seen as if you're retreating and this conniving b/tch may be aiming for that all along.
You may wish to confront her alone when she doesn't expect it - track her down or something and force her to face you. Then, directly ask her what her problem is and if she denies, say you have plenty of "testimony" from the others (you do, right)?
And then, regardless of her response, say to her, "if you have any problems with me, please tell them to me, right now, to my face. that way we can solve them. Or do you prefer to b/tch around the bush talking about people behind their backs? Because I don't do that with you."
If she's got a spine AND any legitimate reasons to hold you in spite, she'll come clean. sounds as if she does not, and she'll probably squirm her way out of this confrontation.
That's all good and fine but it may be seen as if you're retreating and this conniving b/tch may be aiming for that all along.
You may wish to confront her alone when she doesn't expect it - track her down or something and force her to face you. Then, directly ask her what her problem is and if she denies, say you have plenty of "testimony" from the others (you do, right)?
And then, regardless of her response, say to her, "if you have any problems with me, please tell them to me, right now, to my face. that way we can solve them. Or do you prefer to b/tch around the bush talking about people behind their backs? Because I don't do that with you."
If she's got a spine AND any legitimate reasons to hold you in spite, she'll come clean. sounds as if she does not, and she'll probably squirm her way out of this confrontation.
Thanks for the input.
You are right. That is exactly what she wanted. But justice will do a number when she figures out that I am only pulling away from certain people, and that her man is not one of them. At that point, I suspect she will feel forced to approach me. In that case, I don't think I'll give her an explanation. I may just tell her to put on her big girl panties and deal with it. I decide who I want in my life. They can then decide if they want to stay.
I have testimony, yes. But it would just keep the cycle of drama going. She's really not the kind of person I want to be around anyway. I can't stop her from doing what she does, all I can do is kick her to the curb. That way, I'm not participating.
If she doesn't figure out that I haven't cut everyone off, I fully expect her to approach me at some point with the "What's up stranger, are you too good for all of us?" talk. At that point I'll tell her who I'm too good for.
You are right. That is exactly what she wanted. But justice will do a number when she figures out that I am only pulling away from certain people, and that her man is not one of them. At that point, I suspect she will feel forced to approach me. In that case, I don't think I'll give her an explanation. I may just tell her to put on her big girl panties and deal with it. I decide who I want in my life. They can then decide if they want to stay.
I have testimony, yes. But it would just keep the cycle of drama going. She's really not the kind of person I want to be around anyway. I can't stop her from doing what she does, all I can do is kick her to the curb. That way, I'm not participating.
If she doesn't figure out that I haven't cut everyone off, I fully expect her to approach me at some point with the "What's up stranger, are you too good for all of us?" talk. At that point I'll tell her who I'm too good for.
OK, good luck - it's just that she may not fulfill your expectations... but yeah, I do hope you let her know what a b/tch she is.
Here's the scenario. There's a group of us that will get together from time to time for drinks, a cookout, to watch football; things like that. There's a couple within the group. I knew the gal first, then she met her guy a few months later. She was a great gal until she met him. Then she became an insecure ninny.
He and I get along really well. We'd have great discussions. These discussions usually took place among the group, with her right there. She'd sometimes talk to other people, but the minute she saw US talking, she'd get testy. If it was about politics, she'd really go left.
It became awkward after a while and a few kanipshuns. He and I started walking on eggshells, purposely avoiding standing too close or being alone anywhere at any time. It got to the point where one of the bunch actually asked me to keep the discussions to an absolute minimum because it bothered her so much. This was the last straw. I had already danced around her long enough.
I decided to just make myself scarce for a few months. During this time, she'd plant ugly seeds about me here and there, including with my best friend who was not part of the group.
After a while, things seemed to be going better with them, and the others assured me it was "safe" to come around more often. Things were fine for a while...until the other day. She cornered my best friend again with some nonsense about me that never even happened. How friggin' old are we?
I'm going to have to hand that entire group a pink slip. I can see the few I like on my own. The rest seem to enable her. Instead of making sure they don't ***** her off, they should be telling her how ridiculous her behavior has been. It's easier for me to take off; I like my solitude and I'm happy with the few friends I do have. It's just not worth it to me, nor is it worth subjecting my best friend or anyone else to her nonsense.
I guess I'm just venting, but I'm open to suggestions.
I agree, who are the adults here?
I'm sorry, but some women can be such insecure controlling poops.
I really don't blame you, and worst of it is, guess what, if she is like that now, what in the world will she be like if they marry?
If I were him, I'd dump her...
And good for you for realizing, you can count your real true friends on one hand, and they are far more worth all the acquaintences in your life.
I agree. She is adamant about keeping this "friendship" so intact with this guy (someone else's boyfriend).....sounds like she likes him more than she's leading us (or herself) to believe.
I completely disagree with your opinions in this thread. The jealous woman doesn't OWN her boyfriend. And it's possible to have a really good best friend of the opposite sex that is purely platonic. Some of my male friends are like having a brother.
Otherwise, I think that the jealous woman might back off once PassTheChocolate gets a boyfriend. From reading her posts in this thread, it doesn't sound like she is romantically involved at the moment.
I completely disagree with your opinions in this thread. The jealous woman doesn't OWN her boyfriend. And it's possible to have a really good best friend of the opposite sex that is purely platonic. Some of my male friends are like having a brother.
Otherwise, I think that the jealous woman might back off once PassTheChocolate gets a boyfriend. From reading her posts in this thread, it doesn't sound like she is romantically involved at the moment.
I was blessed in life to have two really good male platonic friends and they are gone now, and I miss them dearly.
So, yes indeed MIU, you are so right.
There is no reason to be jealous here, this man isn't owned by anyone, and if he enjoys a conversation with a woman friend, he's allowed. Boy I tell you true, if someone tried to control me to that degree, I'd leave em flat out...I don't know why people continue a relationship with someone who doesn't think and feel as they do, and the worst part is, they completely try to change that person.
Your male friend needs to ditch this biznitch. Best advice is to just step back, like you have done, and wait this out. If she's like this with you, she will be with others, and he'll eventually get tired of it.
I completely disagree with your opinions in this thread. The jealous woman doesn't OWN her boyfriend. And it's possible to have a really good best friend of the opposite sex that is purely platonic. Some of my male friends are like having a brother.
Otherwise, I think that the jealous woman might back off once PassTheChocolate gets a boyfriend. From reading her posts in this thread, it doesn't sound like she is romantically involved at the moment.
Yep. Valuing my friendships doesn't mean I am adamant about keeping this man in my life because I want him.
I don't think it would matter if I had a boyfriend, if her claim is that she is mad at him and not me. If she thinks that I am after her guy, it wouldn't matter who I was with. If I can betray her, I can betray my beau just as easily.
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