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It's more about compatibility..what's boring to one person might not be to somebody else.
I don't find the overly loud so called life of the party people fun as much as annoying.But I think that's what most women prefer.
I prefer laid back funny like myself
No, most women don't prefer overly-loud, life-of-the-party types. Many women do like a good guy who makes them laugh; a guy with a sense of humor that comes out when they're dating, or with a small group of friends.
Again--jumping to extremes, with the "overly loud so-called life of the party" characterization.
I don't know many women who seek "bad boys" tbf..I think sometimes if a guys good looking enough a lot of women will put up with his bs but it's not something they sought out.
There's only one women I know well who genuinely doesn't like when a guys too nice to her but she's kind of got a ton of issues herself and was abused a little sexually and physically as a kid so it might stem from that.
Certainly one person's boring is another person's fascinating, and vice versa. I find sports and athletic, fitness related things, incredibly boring. I like the guy who wants to talk about a computer he built or a D&D game he played.
But on that note and the recent comments by JerZ and Ruth, I think we could look even further back at ideas some people seem to have formed in HIGH SCHOOL and for some reason never bothered to try and work past.
I've known "nerdy" guys (men who were shy, never got women easily) for whom both in high school, and even now in some of the convention communities, when they are talking about "women" not liking them, they're fawning over your popular cheerleader types. The kinds of women who normally prefer jock type guys. The nerdy girls who have actual common interests to them? Are invisible. And they actually argue, that they don't exist, and when we show up, sometimes they are hostile to us, as though we could only ever be pretending to like this comic or that show...I mean, it is weird, and I don't get it. They don't seem to understand that if they want to be accepted, they need to try with the women they've got more in common with, than just basic species.
I thought some about this when my boyfriend was showing me Felicia Day, a famous (to geeks) gamer and sci fi actress. She is ok looking, but if she lived next door, guys wouldn't be drooling over her. I asked my boyfriend why she was so special. He said, "Because she gets us, and she's actually into our interests, and she's a hot woman but she doesn't ignore us!" I said, no, actually...I doubt that's it. Because you ignore hotter women at conventions all the time, women you could have asked out, who obviously do share your interests, and she's really not that incredible looking, I think you're actually still lusting after her because she is "popular." She's "one of you," but she's a CELEBRITY. I think nerdy guys are sometimes kind of obsessed with worshiping, envying, or desiring, more "popular" people and I really don't get that. They are just bound and determined to believe sometimes, that those jocks and cheerleaders who seemed to be on a more elevated social strata back in high school, with their perfect skin and their dates to prom, are BETTER than them, and always will be.
And this goes back to rejecting yourself in your head. Because alongside holding tight to the security blanket of "I won't try, she will inevitably say no" there is also this fantasy life that seems to be more real than reality for some of them. I think it's a pattern formed pretty young, where fantasy is just a lot safer than reality.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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OP has probably curved at least a couple of guys who would be good for her over something she could have gotten over if she gave them a chance. I’m not even going to entertain the bad boy/nice guy crap.
That's true to some extent, but then, there are also the shy guys, who aren't "bad boys", or inclined in that direction. And some women that age go for the shy guys. And there are the fun, goofy, brainy types. There are the mature guys, who rarely approach anyone, because their perception is that most of the women around them are party girls. Maybe they meet someone in the chess club, or at foreign-language camp, or whatever.
It's a very mixed bag at any age; I don't know why some posters only seem to see the negative side, and then form stereotypes from that limited view.
Right, but what I'm saying is, no matter what one's type (so to speak), very young people are not likely to act "maturely" in relationships. And guys will display what a 30-year-old dude will claim is "bad boy" behavior not because they actually are bad, but because they're young.
My shy, brainy, nerdy first boyfriend didn't call consistently, said thoughtless things and so on. AND he cheated on me, BTW. Because he was very young. Not because he was "a bad boy" doomed to ultimately do hard time or something and that's what I "really wanted." What I really wanted was a boy my age, who would treat me well. But my choices were limited to my age group as I was not into much older men at all.
And I think that's the *larger* part of very young people: some go for older, but MOST seem to gravitate toward their own age, just naturally. And in that regard we kind of get what we get, making as intelligent a choice as possible within that, but...everybody's young...and it takes time to act "maturely" in a relationship.
Now, as far as partying and all that...no, that's for sure not everybody and I was never into that. But again, by the numbers...*more* very young people are apt to party hard, than as they get older...and again...that's not because ALL guys are bad guys or because ALL girls want bad boys. It's because being young means more experimenting. It DOESN'T mean "women want criminals, they love to be treated badly - just look at the (age appropriate, attractive to them) guys they choose!"
OP has probably curved at least a couple of guys who would be good for her over something she could have gotten over if she gave them a chance. I’m not even going to entertain the bad boy/nice guy crap.
Maybe, or maybe not. You don't know that a guy would be "good for" the OP just based on a few words.
Now...this was all nine years ago. OP is still active on CD, maybe she can tell us what ever did wind up happening here.
I don't know many women who seek "bad boys" tbf..I think sometimes if a guys good looking enough a lot of women will put up with his bs but it's not something they sought out.
There's only one women I know well who genuinely doesn't like when a guys too nice to her but she's kind of got a ton of issues herself and was abused a little sexually and physically as a kid so it might stem from that.
We also seem to forget some men are great actors and master manipulators.
Most women don't seek out bad boys but some men (not all) will play this nice guy facade and then his true colors come out.
Sometimes s**t happens and we fall for someone who is wrong for us.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,718,665 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JerZ
Maybe, or maybe not. You don't know that a guy would be "good for" the OP just based on a few words.
Now...this was all nine years ago. OP is still active on CD, maybe she can tell us what ever did wind up happening here.
Please, we’ve probably all have curved a couple of good possibilities for stupid reasons. I curved a couple of women who we got along great but wouldn’t touch them because they were ugly in the past. I can admit that, even with my pride.
I've had it explained to me like this:
women go to college and start sleeping around with different types of men. They then begin their careers, and their lives become about accomplishing self serving goals. When they start to feel that biological clock thumping in their heads in their 30s, they start looking for good guys to settle down with. But by that time, the men their age have already become so jaded by relationships in modern western society that they either withdraw from the prospect of marriage as it's a no win situation or simply relegate women to short, sexual flings. There's also those who seek non-western women for a traditional relationships.
I can't say whether or not I agree with all of this, but I have heard it from a number of men that I associate with.
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