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Ive got a problem regarding my bestfriend... we are both the same in our signs... Taurus...
For me, he is one of the most caring and thoughtful friends i've ever had. He was always there for me whenever i have problems, we help out on each other's problems, may it be personal or about studies.. He also looks out for me and we treat each other as brothers....
My problem is whenever we have fights, and i try to explain something to him, he is always saying that I am dramatic and very sensitive and so emotional even though Im trying to be honest that sometimes what he is doing to me is wrong... I only want to be honest to him because we all want to be honest, sincere and loyal to our friends right? sometimes im starting to get fed up because of that and he always tells me the same thing whenever i try to explain things clearly to him. what's wrong with him and why is he like that??? He is like a child that he thinks he is right all the time and far more superior than me. And when it comes to worst, he always tell me that our friendship is over but after some time, he comes to me and makes up on it... and that, we forget about the wrongs and arguments but he keeps doing and doing that... I want him to realize that not all of his actions are correct.. As if he is not even listening to me... I might want someone to help me but i doubt it will make things worst like asking for help or seeking advice directly from his parents or his family members... I dont want our friendship to end.. its just that i want him to realize that im not sensitive or emotional, i only want to point out that there are times that what he is doing to me is wrong and can hurt a friend.... please help me... im very depressed.....
It looks to me like you tried. If he continually ends it, and then comes back and makes up, he has some serious control issues. That is hurtful. Friends don't do that to one another.
At this point, it looks like you may have to make a decision of your own. He's not going to change. Do you want to deal with that for the rest of your life?
You have to SHOW him you won't put up with it. When he starts tearing your down or is not sensitive about what you are saying, Walk away, immediately. And stay away until acts right. If he repeats it again, walk away immediately....again. Train him like a dog.
Yeah it is. I got the same problems with also one of my friends same as like that.. most of my closest friends are younger than me and it looks like i would be probably the one to always adjust to them, they look into me like their eldest brother... but all of this... I spend my time, give them my loyalty and ive been an honest and faithfull friend but i always deserve this...
They themselves told me that im not a bad person and they trust me with their whole life.. but whenever we get into fights, its always like that. my bestfriend sometimes told me that he is only saying those things cause he was angry... of course, because i treasure our friendship, i always accept and forget... My bestfriend's age is 20 and i am 22. Is explaining your side and being honest on what you feel being too / over emotional? or do i have to stay quiet even though it hurts inside just for us to avoid fights?
like the other day, we are playing jokes on each other until i tickled him and he started punching me in public. But when he does the same to me, i dont hurt him nor i do not fight back... Am i the one who was wrong????? After that i started to trash talk on him and saying bad words because that event was seen by many people and i was embarrassed myself even my classmates saw it. Then i walked away even he tried to stop me and invite me to stay at his home with other of our friends. i did all of that because i was angry and got hurt. then i tried to talk it over with him after 1 day has passed and he told me that he does not want me back and that i should stay away from him... he will not offer his help anymore... and insulting me like i cant do things on my own without him.... and when i told him about our partnership and team up in two of our major subjects he told me when those things are done, that i would mind my self and my life alone... he said those things....
I dont want to lose our friendship but i want him to realize the wrongs he has done and the things that hurt me, as his brother and friend...
@ Aylalou
Leaving him behind doesnt have an effect i think, he is only teasing and teasing me like he was immature.
Is it because that i am the one who is the eldest that i would be the one adjusting to them???
Last edited by Sasarai; 02-10-2009 at 09:29 PM..
Reason: additional Info
When you get all emotional while youre trying to explain things to him, raising your voice. Crying a little. Using your hands. You are probably confusing him. He is probably thinking you are a gay Italian.
Ive got a problem regarding my bestfriend... we are both the same in our signs... Taurus...
For me, he is one of the most caring and thoughtful friends i've ever had. He was always there for me whenever i have problems, we help out on each other's problems, may it be personal or about studies.. He also looks out for me and we treat each other as brothers....
My problem is whenever we have fights, and i try to explain something to him, he is always saying that I am dramatic and very sensitive and so emotional even though Im trying to be honest that sometimes what he is doing to me is wrong... I only want to be honest to him because we all want to be honest, sincere and loyal to our friends right? sometimes im starting to get fed up because of that and he always tells me the same thing whenever i try to explain things clearly to him. what's wrong with him and why is he like that??? He is like a child that he thinks he is right all the time and far more superior than me. And when it comes to worst, he always tell me that our friendship is over but after some time, he comes to me and makes up on it... and that, we forget about the wrongs and arguments but he keeps doing and doing that... I want him to realize that not all of his actions are correct.. As if he is not even listening to me... I might want someone to help me but i doubt it will make things worst like asking for help or seeking advice directly from his parents or his family members... I dont want our friendship to end.. its just that i want him to realize that im not sensitive or emotional, i only want to point out that there are times that what he is doing to me is wrong and can hurt a friend.... please help me... im very depressed.....
I hope you dont take offense to what I'm about to say...but I find that when I dont sugar coat things it works out better so here it goes.
I have to ask this question...are the both of you straight? Because this does not seem to be a straight male type of friendship. Straight males, if the friendship is not working out they just leave each other alone. But your writing about it... which leads me to believe that you may be some what sensitive...and that's cool. You see part of having a friendship is recognizing the differences between the two of you. However it sounds like a friendship with your friend requires too much work on your part. For any relationship to survive you can't have the same person giving and the same person taking and expect it to work. Don't be depressed, suck it up and go get a new friend. Based on what you said it won't be hard to find one that will treat you better.
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