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I would hate to be a virgin at 41. Half my life gone, with no sex. I think a lot of adult virgins live in a fantasy world where they believe Prince or Princess Charming is still going to appear out of nowhere and sweep them off their feet; then their first time will be in a bed filled with rose petals, after they get married in the castle.
Or it's the opposite. No one has really ignited the torch for them despite claiming they would do all of those things to make it romantic for them. It's not always some underlying issue or the result of an overactive imagination. Quite a few people are aware that other people aren't that "amazing" and the Disney narrative is false. Some people just may have not come across someone they are interested in or sex is just not a priority for them.
These kinds of discussions are really ridiculous because it's too personal. No one can tell another person how they should live their lives. Or that they are some how inferior/superior because they made different choices. The crux of this issue is that a lot of people can't respect the decisions of others without putting down a whole group of other individuals. Regardless of how "real" they think they're being.
I think a lot of adult virgins live in a fantasy world where they believe Prince or Princess Charming is still going to appear out of nowhere and sweep them off their feet; then their first time will be in a bed filled with rose petals, after they get married in the castle.
And in reality it will be either with prostitutes in a dirty Motel 6 bed when he is fed up with waiting. Or find someone to marry and have an awkward first night in complete darkness with lots of premature ... and apologies and silent tears of disappointment.
And in reality it will be either with prostitutes in a dirty Motel 6 bed when he is fed up with waiting. Or find someone to marry and have an awkward first night in complete darkness with lots of premature ... and apologies and silent tears of disappointment.
I agree that if you save sex for marriage, the sex you have on your first night might be a little awkward, because lots of peoples first sexual experience is awkward. But the people who do manage to save sex for marriage or who loose their virginity before marriage to the person they marry have lowest rates of divorce.
If your goal is good sex on your honeymoon night, having some experience before that helps out. If your goal in dating is to find someone with the lowest risk of divorce, finding and dating someone who thinks marriage is important and that saving sex for this marriage is important ends up being a really effective marriage strategy.
I agree that if you save sex for marriage, the sex you have on your first night might be a little awkward, because lots of peoples first sexual experience is awkward. But the people who do manage to save sex for marriage or who loose their virginity before marriage to the person they marry have lowest rates of divorce.
People who wait for marriage typically come from religion or culture that frown on divorce or don't even allow divorce at all. Not getting divorced isn't solely because they were virgins when they married. There are probably a variety of reasons. Simply being a virgin on your wedding night, in itself, can't give protection against divorce. If anything, I think marital dissatisfaction can result (even in the absence of divorce) if a person will wonder what sex could have been like with someone else.
This thread sucked in its first several iterations, but this time around, it still sucks Who'd a thunk?
Yeah, but if you suck, you’re still a virgin, right?
I dated virgins a couple of times in my mid to late 20s. The inexperience with long term relationships and strange expectations killed it both times. One was somehow expecting the white horse and 2 carat rock by the 3rd or 4th date. The Disney version of dating, I guess.
People who wait for marriage typically come from religion or culture that frown on divorce or don't even allow divorce at all. Not getting divorced isn't solely because they were virgins when they married. There are probably a variety of reasons. Simply being a virgin on your wedding night, in itself, can't give protection against divorce. If anything, I think marital dissatisfaction can result (even in the absence of divorce) if a person will wonder what sex could have been like with someone else.
Baggage.
The more relationships, the more baggage.
Baggage is bad for relationships.
I know with the current gal all my behaviors/habits that upset her are ones I've developed directly from past failed relationships. They're not behaviors I had prior (I go to therapy regularly at times, logical thinker, I find it all interesting). If I think about them I can stop them, and overtime train myself to behave differently. It's mostly centered around cynicism I developed, I guess would be the easiest way to explain it.
People who wait for marriage typically come from religion or culture that frown on divorce or don't even allow divorce at all. Not getting divorced isn't solely because they were virgins when they married. There are probably a variety of reasons. Simply being a virgin on your wedding night, in itself, can't give protection against divorce. If anything, I think marital dissatisfaction can result (even in the absence of divorce) if a person will wonder what sex could have been like with someone else.
Well, it's a theory that these kinds of people will be more willing to work at a marriage and not just throw in the towel like so many people do. That if they can hold off sex until marriage, they may likely be willing to work out the rough patches.
Like some will file for divorce just because they argued one too many times.
Side bar note: Funny thing, lawyers are now talking people OUT of getting divorced because the financial costs for a divorce show that they cannot afford it and they encourage the couple that they should work on their marriage instead.
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Who'd a thunk?
