Welcome to City-Data.com Forum!
U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 02-17-2009, 09:19 AM
 
Location: Coachella Valley, California
15,639 posts, read 41,038,202 times
Reputation: 13472

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by MeCakes View Post
Not to come on as a stupid cow right out of the gates, but I have been seeing a guy for a few weeks, and talking to him for a month or more, but we're sleeping together now. (Hoorah run-on sentence!) He's given me the line 'I'm not ready for a relationship', and yet has contacted me again.... which in past experience meant a dead end. We have a lot in common, we have great sex --more than great, if you ask me. He does not want to introduce me to his friends yet (which is fine with me, too soon perhaps!), but I've been in his home, and feel invited.

Any thoughts? Am I just imagining this has possibilities?

** Edit: Saying 'I am not ready for a relationship was a dead end.
You must be a Gordon Ramsey fan! Yay!!!!!

Sounds to me like you're this guy's booty call. I'd look elsewhere for a relationship if I were you. If you only want sex, this guy's your man.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 02-17-2009, 09:30 AM
 
Location: Fiji
647 posts, read 2,083,480 times
Reputation: 426
Just from what you've said, I see signs of trouble, that is if you are after a quality, long term relationship. Why isn't he ready to introduce you to his friends? He's not ready for a relationship, yet you are allowing him to use you to have "great sex" after only a few weeks?

I may be an odd ball, but I think he is just using you to get himself off without any commitment. Are you OK with that?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-17-2009, 09:31 AM
 
36,529 posts, read 30,863,516 times
Reputation: 32796
Quote:
He's given me the line 'I'm not ready for a relationship', and yet has contacted me again....
What part of "I'm not ready for a relationship" don't you understand. He keeps contacting you because you are "having great sex". I see potential for you to get hurt because you will try to force a relatinship he is clearly not wanting then you will wonder what went wrong.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-17-2009, 09:51 AM
 
Location: Lost in Montana *recalculating*...
19,764 posts, read 22,666,896 times
Reputation: 24920
Doesn't want to introduce you to his friends?

I'd say either-

a) For some reason he would be embarrased to introduce you
b) He is involved with another woman and his friends already know her
c) He is plotting to murder you (j/k )
d) Doesn't want his mommy to know

Honestly don't know why any other 'man' would want to keep it a secret from anybody for any other reasons. Most guys are pretty proud to show everyone the 'lady'. At least it seems that way from my perspective.

I mean most of my friends who remained single longer than me were always, um, proud to announce a new 'thang'.. Bragging rights and all that sort of nonsense.

My money would be on option 'b'
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-17-2009, 01:49 PM
 
Location: Portland, OR
9,855 posts, read 11,931,928 times
Reputation: 10028
Back several years when I had just begun dating online I met a woman who seemed into me from the begininning. From the first date . The sex was great. Maybe better than great, given what I had had up to that point. Thing was she kept hiding me. It bugged me. I was driving across two states every Friday night to be with her. By Sunday morning we had worn ourselves out and should have been ready for a movie or dinner but the town she lived in was small and we would have run into someone she knew. After a few months I stopped seeing her because I felt I deserved someone who would be proud to show me off, etc. City Data wasn't around then to bounce it off so I made the decision all on my own. I have to tell the o.p. though, in hindsight I would have kept on seeing the woman. If we had actually had more in common than just the sex I should definitely have kept on seeing that woman. Don't be hasty. Only you can know the in's and out's of your particular situation. If you've been going short up to this point there isn't anything really all that terrible about stocking up a little before you move on. There is also the chance, only a chance (about that, the other posters are correct) that time (and good nookie) will turn things around and he will be "ready for a relationship" whatever the he** that means. I can't distinguish any difference between how that woman treated me years ago and how my GF treats me now. She called, wrote, sent cards, came to NYC and met my friends, bought me things. It was great, mostly... ... yeah, definitely think about if you really want to show him the door. Good luck.

H
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:


Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
Similar Threads

All times are GMT -6. The time now is 05:41 PM.

© 2005-2024, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top