Welcome to City-Data.com Forum!
U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 02-24-2009, 04:30 PM
 
1,501 posts, read 5,673,894 times
Reputation: 1164

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by robertpolyglot View Post
Now, he writes to one of my family members trying to locate me, and I just shrugged. What's the point? Their loyalty has historically been less than mine. I've decided: do NOT respond. Do you agree?"
In this person's case, most definitely.!~

Know the old saying "A friend in need is a friend indeed"? Take the "friend" out of there and you have this guy = USER.
Sounds self-absorbed, like he expects everyone to just cater to & roll over for him. A real friend makes sure they are a good friend first before imposing on somebody.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 02-24-2009, 08:13 PM
 
Location: Sherman Oaks, CA
6,588 posts, read 17,522,586 times
Reputation: 9462
People who do this offend me. I would appreciate an honest approach, such as "since you live in the area, can you help me out?" rather than the "buddy buddy, let's catch up" method. The latter is so fake and phony. Truthfully, I wouldn't mind helping someone from my past as long as they were honest about what they wanted.

I went to my first high school reunion, and that was it. Honestly, I couldn't care less about any of the people who used to make my life Hell when I was a teenager. Even if they've changed, I still don't care. I see no need to go back there, even for one evening.

So, Robert, I agree with you.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-25-2009, 10:54 AM
 
Location: Florida
4,893 posts, read 14,112,659 times
Reputation: 2329
Quote:
Originally Posted by Parkerclassof72 View Post
My experience hasn't been like yours in any way. Through the magic of the internet, I'm back in touch with several dozen old friends, aquaintances, even a couple of old girlfriends. Some I've found, and some have found me. Some are now regular email buddies, some just said "hi" and moved on. It continues to be a blast, reminiscing about days gone by, and finding out who old friends have become, who they married, about their kids, etc. I love it.
My thoughts exactly. Facebook has brought back a lot of people from HS & college to me.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-25-2009, 11:04 AM
 
Location: Jacksonville, Fl
838 posts, read 1,872,423 times
Reputation: 492
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ladywithafan View Post
My thoughts exactly. Facebook has brought back a lot of people from HS & college to me.

Thanks Lady. I was beginning to think I was alone in this one.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-25-2009, 11:14 AM
 
Location: Charlotte, NC
973 posts, read 3,299,349 times
Reputation: 1246
I've heard from ex-boyfriends and old classmates over the years. I had mixed feelings about it.

In the case of the exes, I'll admit to idle curiosity about what direction their life took them but I had no desire to stay in touch. We broke things off for a reason.

My former classmates were old friends and although our lives took different directions, I was glad to hear from them and know they were doing well. If they needed a tour of my town, career advice or whatever, I'd be happy to help within reason.

I DO get frustrated with folks who come around when they need something then you don't hear from them again till they need something else, BUT there are plenty of us who think about former friends and wonder how they are but it's hard to stay in touch.

There are people who have been in and out of my life for over 20 years and I care very much about them but with our respective families, work, hobbies, etc...it is hard to stay in touch regularly. It's not a personal slight but we're just busy people.

Perhaps your old friend would like to stay in touch more and truly cares about you as a friend but is just as busy as you are, therefore the phonecalls come more sporadically.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-25-2009, 11:40 AM
 
4,482 posts, read 5,319,656 times
Reputation: 2966
Quote:
Originally Posted by 1mintjulep View Post
What's that saying? "Don't worry about people in your past; there's a reason they didn't make it to your future." Something like that. I've briefly reconnected via Facebook with some old friends that I hadn't seen in several years. The truth is, I've changed and they've changed (or not) or our situations have changed; and we either don't have much in common anymore or simply too much time has passed. It's nice sometimes to see how people are doing, but I've found that many of these friendships can't be rekindled.

As far as people I knew in high school or whatever - I was never close to anybody I went to school with, and would probably have even less in common with most of them now; it's been well over a decade, and I no longer live in the same town (or the same state) that I grew up in, and many of my former classmates have similarly diversified around the country by now, so it's not like there's much chance of me running into any of them.

Like I say, it's nice to see how people are doing, but I don't see it going any further than that. Especially if it becomes clear that they're only contacting me in an attempt to finagle something out of me. I have less than zero patience for that.
I totally relate.

Through Facebook I've researched, out of curiosity, names I knew in high school. Several are there; many married w/ kids, some single. I wasn't close to any of them, so I decided not to write them.

There was one guy whom I was friends with in our senior year of high school; we took a class together. After high school graduation, I saw him only once, in the summer after our freshman year had ended. And that was it.

Then, sometime early last year, I found him. He was the first high school person I contacted (and the last one). He was friendly and expressed surprise at me appearing out of nowhere, and after exchanging a few notes, it stayed that way. We've been overdue to have a happy hour for about 1 year now. He and I have taken very different paths - I don't even know what he does for a living, but he's artsy (he was part of an amateur band for a couple of years) and sings. He was scrawny thin in high school (I was skinny too but I was taller and stronger) - he's now buffed and thick, a lot more muscular than I am. And... he's now gay.

Other than that, a few people from college; one woman found me and she's now married w/ 3 kids. I saw her a few times at her church. We were due to have lunch last year (in the summer)... didn't happen.

There is one girl that I tried to find recently. I had a crush on her in junior high (we went to church together from ages 12 to 17) and I think she liked me back then. We kept in touch via letters diligently throughout college, and then, eventually, life took us on different paths. I still wonder what she's up to. The one person I know who kept in touch with her after she and I finished college told me recently that about 10 years ago she moved to California - and that was the last she heard of her.

I was thinking about old friends recently. Partly perhaps because I'm single and I feel emotionally a bit needy. Partly because I'm getting older and I tend to reminisce at times. But, I think some people in our past didn't make it to our present for a reason. A lot of times, we try - they don't.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-25-2009, 11:43 AM
 
14,727 posts, read 33,307,651 times
Reputation: 8949
Quote:
Originally Posted by SandyCo View Post
I went to my first high school reunion, and that was it. Honestly, I couldn't care less about any of the people who used to make my life Hell when I was a teenager. Even if they've changed, I still don't care. I see no need to go back there, even for one evening.

So, Robert, I agree with you.
In this case, they are in good shape $$$...of the inherited variety...and they are frugal and living in a nice part of the SGV (is there a nice part ?)...so they are just being nosy. They typically check-in after very long lapses and I don't feel like filling them in on what's going on with me, nor do I care what's going on with them.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships

All times are GMT -6. The time now is 04:36 AM.

© 2005-2024, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top