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Hi all! Long time no talk! I apologize I have been busy with college, work, and my girlfriend (now of 8 months going on 9). Although early on in the relationship I had said I had my doubts it would get past 6 because of how insecure she is, she has gotten better. On the negative, she still doesnt trust me around other women (all boyfriends in her past have cheated with the exception of one). We're at 8 months and going fairly strong and our semester is about to end. Alright enough of a status update here....
To get to the point here, lately there is a female co-worker at my job who is very protective of me. I would say ever since we became friends about 5-6 years ago. She's 30, always looking out for me with how women are treating me and I do the same for her with how men treat her. She has been single for a few months now. I always ask her how things are and hope that she finds someone special for her. She's truly an amazing individual and is probably one of my closest friends. Prior to my relationship, I never hung out with any individual from my work because I had one instance where it went sour and the girl (at the time I was 19, now 23) spread rumors that were not true and then attempted to do the same with another coworker of mine who said the same exact thing happened to him. Mind you this individual got fired after she spread rumors that were false and did something against company rules. After that instance, I swore I would never get involved with an employee at work ever again.
Fast-forward to 2013, the female coworker (the 30 year old one) asks me to go out to a local bar. I take her there, she gets drunk, flirts around with a guy or two, then flirts with me. At some point in between the 1-3 am hour I take her home and she stops me at the car and makes out with me. Not what I was expecting but I went with it. Dropped her off at home and we have yet to hang out outside of work since. Again, fast-forward to 2014 (around july/august). She recently becomes single for about 2 months and starts calling me her "work boyfriend" since she knows I'm taken. She asks questions regularly about my relationship, wants to make sure everything okay, and reminds me she'll beat anyone up who will break my heart (half kidding half serious). Somehow the topic gets changed to sex and she mentions how she hasn't since her last boyfriend and I say I'm sorry to hear that and I hope she finds someone soon for her. Next, she states that she doesn't need a boy, she has her toy. The conversation takes a turn and she says she would have someone in mind (looks directly at me and smiles as she walks away). At this point I said, "Me? (insert name here), but I'm taken... Are you saying if I was single...?" She follows up with, "I'm not telling."
yeah.. I just want to make sure that I am not reading too far into this... The last thing I want to do is have anything get screwed up with my current relationship, which has been rocky at times, since my girlfriend can be an emotional roller coaster and can be dramatic.. sometimes illogical.. But please do inform me if you find that the woman at my work is coming onto me....
Let your co-worker know, point blank, you could never imagine being interested in anyone at work.
Don't single her out, just a blanket statement, let it hang. If she's smart, she'll get the point, and she has no reason to be offended because...you're not targeting her and a lot of people have the same rule about dating at work.
I think it's pretty obvious she's coming onto you with that line of conversation. If you really care about your relationship you should nip this in the bud immediately. I've said it a million times and I'll say it again do NOT get involved with a co-worker. If it were me, I'd just point blank tell her that you want to keep it a work relationship and do not want anything more. If she persists with the heavy flirting just change the subject.
This woman is coming onto you, but it is for no good. She is using you.
I agree that you need to take the mature step of cutting her off. Based on how you have described her, she will pout and whine and accuse you of being "no fun" anymore, but this is a bad situation. She is crossing a line.
WARNING: As soon as the d-bags here wake up, they will all pile on and tell you to go for it! Life is short! This woman wants you! Go get some!
And you could do that.
But I sense that you don't REALLY want to. I think you know she is throwing desperation your way. It's really unprofessional and not too cool of her to use you this way. It will only lead to pain for you.
Keep your GF separate. Resolve whatever problems you have with her. But don't lead the work wife on anymore. If she keeps up the dirty talk, let her know you don't date co-workers, then change the subject.
(Good to see you back, Ry!! I mean, sorry you had to log on with a problem, but I've been wondering how you're doing!)
It sounds like she is but it doesn't matter if she is or not. The best thing to do is just completely ignore any inappropriate comments and change the subject - and see if that puts an end to it.
Location: IN>Germany>ND>OH>TX>CA>Currently NoVa and a Vacation Lake House in PA
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Why do you care if she is or not? Sounds like you're trying to bump your ego up a bit to me. Ignore her and concentrate on your current relationship...or not. You don't need our permission.
Don't do anything. What is your question? First of all, she sounds gross. It's beyond trashy to come on to your coworker who is in a relationship and reveal such personal intimate details about herself and to a coworker. Really unprofessional. I would nip that crap in the bud real fast the next time she says anything and make it clear you're happy in your relationship. Even a secure non jealous woman wouldn't like some sleazy woman at work making comments to her boyfriend. Don't give your girlfriend a real reason to be insecure.
Really? dump the current girlfriend and start a new exciting pain free sexual relationship with the 30 year old, she can teach you things that your current g/f can't. Forget what the church contingency is saying, go for the 30 year old, you definitely need some experience.
If you need to ask people on a forum if someone is hitting on you, when you are saying she made out with you in the car, you will get silly answers.
My girlfriend is complaining I never listen to her and some other stuff I missed. I didn't hear the rest because I wasn't paying attention.
So your girlfriend is insecure because all her exes cheated on her and now this. I guess you don't see any connections.
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