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Old 03-19-2009, 04:59 PM
 
Location: North Carolina
2,657 posts, read 7,633,237 times
Reputation: 4344

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1. Man-Flu is more painful than childbirth. This is an irrefutable scientific fact*. *(Based on a survey of over 100,000 men.)

2. Man-Flu is not 'just a cold'. It is a condition so severe that the germs from a single Man-Flu sneeze could wipe out entire tribes of people living in the rain forest. And probably loads of monkeys too.

3. Women do not contract Man-Flu. At worst they suffer from what is medically recognised as a 'Mild Girly Sniffle' - which, if a man caught, he would still be able to run, throw a ball, tear the phone book in half and compete in all other kinds of manly activities.

4. Men do not 'moan' when they have Man-Flu. They emit involuntary groans of agony that are entirely in proportion to the unbearable pain they are in.

5. Full recovery from Man-Flu will take place much quicker if their simple requests for care, sympathy and regular cups of tea are met. Is that really so much to ask? Florence Nightingale would have done it.

6. More men die each year from MFN (Man-Flu Neglect) than lots and lots of other things. (Like rabbit attacks or choking on toast).

7. Men suffering from Man-Flu want nothing more than to get out of bed and come to work, but they are too selfless to risk spreading this awful condition amongst their friends and colleagues. In this sense, they are the greatest heroes this country has ever known.

8. In 1982 scientists managed to simulate the agonizing symptoms of full blown Man-Flu in a female chimp. She became so ill that her head literally fell off.

9. Man-Flu germs are more powerful than He-Man, The Thundercats and The A-Team combined. They are too strong for weak, nasty tasting 'lady medicines' like Lemsip, so don't bother trying to force them on a victim of Man-Flu.

10. Yes, it is entirely possible for a victim of Man-Flu to be too sick to drive a child to school, take out the trash, put his cup in the dishwasher, or even answer the phone. However, none of those mean he is to sick to have s*x.

11. While it may seem like a Man-Flu sufferer is just laying around enjoying Television it is a commonly recognised medical fact that watching Sport on the TV has remarkable soothing powers.

12.Every minute in this country one man is struck down by Man-Flu. Women, all we ask is that each of you offers them a cup of tea, some kind words and your undivided attention and care. Then maybe, just maybe, we'll beat this monstrous disease together.
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Old 03-19-2009, 05:36 PM
 
Location: Southern Arizona
188 posts, read 450,321 times
Reputation: 178
Let me guess, your husband is home with a cold.
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Old 03-19-2009, 05:59 PM
 
Location: Way South of the Volvo Line
2,783 posts, read 7,584,405 times
Reputation: 2840
My sympathies.I hear there's preparations for some serious Man-flu fundraising. For the sake of all devoted female partners we need to eradicate this insidious disease.
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Old 03-19-2009, 06:21 PM
 
Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
9,506 posts, read 18,995,798 times
Reputation: 9384
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tanker View Post
Let me guess, your husband is home with a cold.
LOL

Quote:
3. Women do not contract Man-Flu. At worst they suffer from what is medically recognised as a 'Mild Girly Sniffle' - which, if a man caught, he would still be able to run, throw a ball, tear the phone book in half and compete in all other kinds of manly activities.
LOL You obviously have never met my daughter. Both she and my son suffer like someone who's trapped under a rock when high tide is coming in during a flu or cold. They cuss, scream, moan, throw things, slam doors.... I'm sorry, I can't go on. I'm getting deja vu.

LOL My daughter definitely suffers like a man when she's sick.
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Old 03-20-2009, 08:45 AM
 
Location: Forests of Maine
33,631 posts, read 55,264,290 times
Reputation: 24505
Wow 'Man-Flu' sounds terrible.

I do not think that I have ever had it.

I do hope that he gets better.
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Old 03-20-2009, 10:55 AM
 
27,099 posts, read 27,384,853 times
Reputation: 16827
Quote:
Originally Posted by silverwing View Post
1. Man-Flu is more painful than childbirth. This is an irrefutable scientific fact*. *(Based on a survey of over 100,000 men.)

2. Man-Flu is not 'just a cold'. It is a condition so severe that the germs from a single Man-Flu sneeze could wipe out entire tribes of people living in the rain forest. And probably loads of monkeys too.

3. Women do not contract Man-Flu. At worst they suffer from what is medically recognised as a 'Mild Girly Sniffle' - which, if a man caught, he would still be able to run, throw a ball, tear the phone book in half and compete in all other kinds of manly activities.

4. Men do not 'moan' when they have Man-Flu. They emit involuntary groans of agony that are entirely in proportion to the unbearable pain they are in.

5. Full recovery from Man-Flu will take place much quicker if their simple requests for care, sympathy and regular cups of tea are met. Is that really so much to ask? Florence Nightingale would have done it.

6. More men die each year from MFN (Man-Flu Neglect) than lots and lots of other things. (Like rabbit attacks or choking on toast).

7. Men suffering from Man-Flu want nothing more than to get out of bed and come to work, but they are too selfless to risk spreading this awful condition amongst their friends and colleagues. In this sense, they are the greatest heroes this country has ever known.

8. In 1982 scientists managed to simulate the agonizing symptoms of full blown Man-Flu in a female chimp. She became so ill that her head literally fell off.

9. Man-Flu germs are more powerful than He-Man, The Thundercats and The A-Team combined. They are too strong for weak, nasty tasting 'lady medicines' like Lemsip, so don't bother trying to force them on a victim of Man-Flu.

10. Yes, it is entirely possible for a victim of Man-Flu to be too sick to drive a child to school, take out the trash, put his cup in the dishwasher, or even answer the phone. However, none of those mean he is to sick to have s*x.

11. While it may seem like a Man-Flu sufferer is just laying around enjoying Television it is a commonly recognised medical fact that watching Sport on the TV has remarkable soothing powers.

12.Every minute in this country one man is struck down by Man-Flu. Women, all we ask is that each of you offers them a cup of tea, some kind words and your undivided attention and care. Then maybe, just maybe, we'll beat this monstrous disease together.
Ohhhh Brother.....

Give me a break
Mild girly sniffles

LOL
This was hysterical....

the only fatality is the woman who must endure to take care of her husband who contacted the man flu...


thank you
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Old 03-20-2009, 11:09 AM
 
13,780 posts, read 25,085,907 times
Reputation: 7430
you've been talking to my husband, haven't you?
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Old 03-20-2009, 11:44 AM
 
Location: The Hall of Justice
25,906 posts, read 39,975,692 times
Reputation: 42668
That was funny!
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Old 03-20-2009, 11:56 AM
 
27,099 posts, read 27,384,853 times
Reputation: 16827
Quote:
Originally Posted by mrstewart View Post
you've been talking to my husband, haven't you?
knew you couldn't pass this one up...

How are ya doing sweetie?

hugs
Creme
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Old 03-20-2009, 12:18 PM
 
13,780 posts, read 25,085,907 times
Reputation: 7430
Quote:
Originally Posted by cremebrulee View Post
knew you couldn't pass this one up...

How are ya doing sweetie?

hugs
Creme
Doing well, thanks for asking...how about yourself?

This topic always hits close to home...or hits upside my husbands head... He makes me NUTS when he is sick! But then again, this is the man who grew up with a silver bell next to the bed "just in case" he got sick in the middle of the night My friends have taken that tidbit of information and run with it...I now have an amazing collection of bells of all sizes, shapes and tones each comes with a catchy limerick attached
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