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You have a good point that he should have made sure there was nothing suspicious or hidden. But, I do think he does love me. I think he thinks he isn't doing anything wrong to talk to her and so he does it anyway.
Obviously he KNOWS he is doing something wrong that is why he got defensive....make him think you are communicating with your ex and see how fast he has an issue with that. It sounds like you are creating excuses for his behavior therefore you get what you deserve. Its sad to say but its true ppl on here gave you some really good and honest advice and you defend him in every response. So do you want advice or not?
You have a good point that he should have made sure there was nothing suspicious or hidden. But, I do think he does love me. I think he thinks he isn't doing anything wrong to talk to her and so he does it anyway.
Hun, you're missing the point here. If he "thinks" that he's not doing anything WRONG, he would NEVER hide it from you. It's an instinct that all humans develop since they were children: when they "know" that they are doing something that is deemed wrong, they will hide it from those that will judge them as doing something wrong.
Obviously he KNOWS he is doing something wrong that is why he got defensive....make him think you are communicating with your ex and see how fast he has an issue with that. It sounds like you are creating excuses for his behavior therefore you get what you deserve. Its sad to say but its true ppl on here gave you some really good and honest advice and you defend him in every response. So do you want advice or not?
Actually, I'm not defending him at all. If I thought he was innocent I would not be here. I am just giving my opinion since I am the one in the relationship. I have considered everyone's advice and read all of them several times and they have helped me very much. I am very appreciative. I don't think that responding with my own opinion means I don't want advice.
He threatened divorce because my mom had told my brother in law and he had confronted and lectured him about his behavior. He has never brought up divorce before and I think it was a knee jerk reaction.
Good. I'm glad that I'm wrong...I still remember how I felt when I got divorced (31 years ago). I felt like god had zipped me open and taken half out. Divorce is not to be taken lightly. It hurts. A lot.
I definitely wouldn't consider IMing cheating in and of itself, but it definitely is dishonest and shows disregard for your feelings. If the trust is gone you really don't have much to work with in a relationship. We all have our moments of doubt, but the thing you really have to ask yourself is if there is any glimmer of hope for your relationship. Do you still have any trust for him?
Good. I'm glad that I'm wrong...I still remember how I felt when I got divorced (31 years ago). I felt like god had zipped me open and taken half out. Divorce is not to be taken lightly. It hurts. A lot.
I didnt quote that.
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