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Its probable that hes messaging some other woman. The fact stands that he shouldnt need counseling to not cheat on you or to love only you. Please, for your sake, confront him as soon as possible and then if it happens that he's doing this always, try to understand why. Chances are that he doesnt want to be married, is not ready to be commited and still has feelings for her.If thats the case, let him go, set him free. Let his feelings take him where they will. Seek counseling for yourself so you can have an easier transition.
I know it sounds like he is a womanizer but he isn't. It is really just this one girl. They dated for 7 years. I am the only other girl he ever liked. But, I have always felt like I was 2nd choice. I don't think he was ready for the part about "forsaking all others". I know he loves me. But, I know he has something for this girl that he can't let go of and nothing can change that. I know that now. I guess I just need to figure out the best thing to do now. We don't have children.
I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. I think this woman will always be a part of your marriage. He may love you, but it doesn't sound like he ever got over her. If I were you, I would calmly express all of these concerns to him. Give him a chance to tell you the truth.
Why are you two not going to bed at the same time? Even if it's just to watch TV or read, that closeness is important. I know because I was one to stay up on the computer. No, there wasn't anyone else, but it started to put some distance between my dh and I. He just wanted me near him, if only to cuddle. If I were you, I would confront him and let him know it's not acceptable. If he's not willing to get closer to you, you need to think of getting out now.
I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. I think this woman will always be a part of your marriage. He may love you, but it doesn't sound like he ever got over her. If I were you, I would calmly express all of these concerns to him. Give him a chance to tell you the truth.
Thank you so much for all your help. I was going to put a keylogger on last night. He is going away on business for a few days. But, he slept with the computer next to his bed all night. He's never done that before. He was awake all night long. Everytime I turned over, he was awake, staring at the ceiling. It seems like he is guilty or something is bothering him. That is not normal. Anyway, I don't know how I am ever going to get the keylogger installed on his computer. How can I catch him?
I totally agree with all of you that this is cheating but I just don't think I can end a marriage without some proof? Do you agree?
He normally comes to bed with me but then he lately has gotten up and gone downstairs to get on his computer. This is a new thing.
I learned the hard way, at 19, that you dont change someone just because you marry. My first husband was a player and here I thought he'd change when we got married. Didnt happen. If this happens think of what the future will bring if this is only the tip of the iceberg. Act now before it blossoms into a disaster!
Thank you so much for all your help. I was going to put a keylogger on last night. He is going away on business for a few days. But, he slept with the computer next to his bed all night. He's never done that before. He was awake all night long. Everytime I turned over, he was awake, staring at the ceiling. It seems like he is guilty or something is bothering him. That is not normal. Anyway, I don't know how I am ever going to get the keylogger installed on his computer. How can I catch him?
I totally agree with all of you that this is cheating but I just don't think I can end a marriage without some proof? Do you agree?
He normally comes to bed with me but then he lately has gotten up and gone downstairs to get on his computer. This is a new thing.
Why do you have to "catch him in the act"? Why not just calmly come out and ask him what's up? If he denies anything then REMAIN CALM but tell him your gut instincts are giving you other signals and continue to insist he tell you the whole truth about all his new strange behavior - I mean really, SLEEPING with the computer??? Would love to know what logical explanation he would try to give you for that
Thank you so much for all your help. I was going to put a keylogger on last night. He is going away on business for a few days. But, he slept with the computer next to his bed all night. He's never done that before. He was awake all night long. Everytime I turned over, he was awake, staring at the ceiling. It seems like he is guilty or something is bothering him. That is not normal. Anyway, I don't know how I am ever going to get the keylogger installed on his computer. How can I catch him?
I totally agree with all of you that this is cheating but I just don't think I can end a marriage without some proof? Do you agree?
He normally comes to bed with me but then he lately has gotten up and gone downstairs to get on his computer. This is a new thing.
Ok, first of all, let me ask you these:
1. Have you asked him WHY HE NEEDS to have THAT MUCH contact with her? I mean, "some" contact with exes are fine, which would mean a call/ email once a month, or whatever. But when it gets to interrupt his time with you, his own wife, that's a big problem. When you confronted him about contacting her, did he have any excuse (lame/ not) as to why he needed to contact her THAT MUCH?
2. In his 7-year relationship with her, who broke up with whom? This may answer why he's the way he is towards her now.
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