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You said he has broken your trust. I'd think it's fairly hard to go beyond that. I agree with other posts - if he isn't cheating ... he's close.
I think I'd pass on this relationship. I understand you are married. But you are young and can move on - it's easier to move on now than years from now. If he is telling you lies now why would you expect him not to 10, 15 or 25 years from now?
In this case, you aint much of a prize to begin with. You give her a reason to suspect cheating - when she wants the truth, you won't give it to her, so she has to resort to other means to find out - and you cheat on her just 'cuz? I'd leave your ass and take you to the cleaners!
Thanks Twinkle Toes! You said it so much better than I could have!
Thank you everyone! It was so nice to come home and see all of your responses. It gives me strength to do what I need to do. To me it feels like he is cheating on me because he still cares for this girl obviously and he does it behind my back, when I have asked him not to. I haven't been on his computer ever. We each have our own. If we used the same one, I don't think this would be a problem. I would like to use the keylogger but I am afraid of damaging his computer or compromising his business information. I am just going to confront him and hope that for once he will tell the truth. It's not that this is a huge deal in and of itself. It's that he has done it dozens of times and always promised not to do it again. He has disrespected me and our marriage. He will be back Saturday. I'll let you know how it goes. Wish me luck!!
Thank you everyone! It was so nice to come home and see all of your responses. It gives me strength to do what I need to do. To me it feels like he is cheating on me because he still cares for this girl obviously and he does it behind my back, when I have asked him not to. I haven't been on his computer ever. We each have our own. If we used the same one, I don't think this would be a problem. I would like to use the keylogger but I am afraid of damaging his computer or compromising his business information. I am just going to confront him and hope that for once he will tell the truth. It's not that this is a huge deal in and of itself. It's that he has done it dozens of times and always promised not to do it again. He has disrespected me and our marriage. He will be back Saturday. I'll let you know how it goes. Wish me luck!!
Thank you everyone! It was so nice to come home and see all of your responses. It gives me strength to do what I need to do. To me it feels like he is cheating on me because he still cares for this girl obviously and he does it behind my back, when I have asked him not to. I haven't been on his computer ever. We each have our own. If we used the same one, I don't think this would be a problem. I would like to use the keylogger but I am afraid of damaging his computer or compromising his business information. I am just going to confront him and hope that for once he will tell the truth. It's not that this is a huge deal in and of itself. It's that he has done it dozens of times and always promised not to do it again. He has disrespected me and our marriage. He will be back Saturday. I'll let you know how it goes. Wish me luck!!
Just please make certain, when you leave, you don't jump into another relationship with another looser. You have to do a lot of self exploration and figure why you chose a guy like this. And it could be many reasons...
not just one. It's ok to date, but don't fall in love with just any guy who comes along...make certain that person is compatible to you in every way. He needs to own the same moral values as you do...get out there and experience life, fend for yourself, ask nothing from anyone else, be strong and self sufficent, and that will open many doors for you, especially knowledge about life, what you need and deserve.
I read this thread, and will be keeping most of my thoughts to myself. I, once upon a time, was happily married. My wife had some SERIOUS trust issues.. which resulted more often than not in me being accused of cheating, looking for other women, lying, etc. There was never more proof than speculation and conclusion-jumping, and i never once even THOUGHT about another woman, much less betraying my wife by actually cheating on her. I trusted her with every cell in my body, because I KNEW she would never cheat on me, and i figured that trust would help her to trust me, but it didn't. Counseling was to no avail, though she did put forth a good effort with it, and we were able to uncover quite a bit of her past and childhood that the counselor believed to be partially the cause of the trust issues. In the end, she ended up leaving me for another man. The timelines don't match up, but i never had any proof she actually cheated on me, so I can't say she did...
My point is, I've been that guy. the guy who is endlessly faithful, yet can't get out from under the thumb of accusation. It doesnt matter what you do to try to prove yourself.. Once she believes you've done it, it's just a downhill spiral. In the end, she and I are civil and friendly, and we share a 3 year old daughter from our 4 year marriage.. but with trust issues like that, marriage wasn't possible.
I read this thread, and will be keeping most of my thoughts to myself. I, once upon a time, was happily married. My wife had some SERIOUS trust issues.. which resulted more often than not in me being accused of cheating, looking for other women, lying, etc. There was never more proof than speculation and conclusion-jumping, and i never once even THOUGHT about another woman, much less betraying my wife by actually cheating on her. I trusted her with every cell in my body, because I KNEW she would never cheat on me, and i figured that trust would help her to trust me, but it didn't. Counseling was to no avail, though she did put forth a good effort with it, and we were able to uncover quite a bit of her past and childhood that the counselor believed to be partially the cause of the trust issues. In the end, she ended up leaving me for another man. The timelines don't match up, but i never had any proof she actually cheated on me, so I can't say she did...
My point is, I've been that guy. the guy who is endlessly faithful, yet can't get out from under the thumb of accusation. It doesnt matter what you do to try to prove yourself.. Once she believes you've done it, it's just a downhill spiral. In the end, she and I are civil and friendly, and we share a 3 year old daughter from our 4 year marriage.. but with trust issues like that, marriage wasn't possible.
I think you're projecting your own experience onto the OP and that's not fair. They are two completely different situations. The OP has reason to worry - her husband has proven himself to be a liar in the past and now he's acting very shady. I'd be on red alert too, with the way he's acting, as would most people who've responded in this thread.
You might have been the wronged party in your case but this isn't you.
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