Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,544 posts, read 56,068,476 times
Reputation: 11862
Advertisements
Sadly, it seems so...it seems these days it's easy enough for a 'fling', I mean you can pay women for that sort of thing, if you're into it, but genuine, sincere 'old school' relationships - particularly romantic, but also friendships, seem to be harder to find. Your friends seem to be those you grew up with or work colleagues, and you may have a few close 'bosom buddies.' Apart from high school sweethearts, it seems relationships these days are kind of shallow, based on money, a common goal/religion etc rather than a 'soul-mate' type connection. It's because people are so concerned about their career, or status or lifestyle. Of course many are not like that, but a good percentage are. I find dating sites kind of disillusioning in a way; apart from the fact I've had so little success, it seems to be about ticking boxes. But I digress, I think today's world revolves too much about money and status, and is not very supportive of genuine relationships. They do happen, but marriages and close relationships are too often put under strain.
Sadly, it seems so...it seems these days it's easy enough for a 'fling', I mean you can pay women for that sort of thing, if you're into it, but genuine, sincere 'old school' relationships - particularly romantic, but also friendships, seem to be harder to find. Your friends seem to be those you grew up with or work colleagues, and you may have a few close 'bosom buddies.' Apart from high school sweethearts, it seems relationships these days are kind of shallow, based on money, a common goal/religion etc rather than a 'soul-mate' type connection. It's because people are so concerned about their career, or status or lifestyle. Of course many are not like that, but a good percentage are. I find dating sites kind of disillusioning in a way; apart from the fact I've had so little success, it seems to be about ticking boxes. But I digress, I think today's world revolves too much about money and status, and is not very supportive of genuine relationships. They do happen, but marriages and close relationships are too often put under strain.
Well, if you're talking about the united states, it's becasue we're into individuality. We think we deserve what we want and we go for it. Well, if your partner does that as well, you're only staying together if she happens to have the same goals you do. And if she does, competition may spell the end.
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,544 posts, read 56,068,476 times
Reputation: 11862
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ivorytickler
Well, if you're talking about the united states, it's becasue we're into individuality. We think we deserve what we want and we go for it. Well, if your partner does that as well, you're only staying together if she happens to have the same goals you do. And if she does, competition may spell the end.
Yes, I think people may feel insecure if their partner earns a lot more than them, or has a degree, or a more prestigious job or something.
The situation is very similar here in Australia, we're quite big on individuality too.
I can agree that internet dating is wierd, or maybie I just don't get how to use it, but you always have to pay to usethe nessesary functions and I simply don't see the point in paying when there is about 5 attractive singles from the same city as me on the whole site...I mean what are the chances? + the likelyhood of them already having found someone else is not that small since there are about 30 guys/girl....
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,544 posts, read 56,068,476 times
Reputation: 11862
Quote:
Originally Posted by Niceguy89
I can agree that internet dating is wierd, or maybie I just don't get how to use it, but you always have to pay to usethe nessesary functions and I simply don't see the point in paying when there is about 5 attractive singles from the same city as me on the whole site...I mean what are the chances? + the likelyhood of them already having found someone else is not that small since there are about 30 guys/girl....
Internet dating is such a gyp...unless you're Fabio or something the best you can expect is a short-term friendship.
Sadly, it seems so...it seems these days it's easy enough for a 'fling', I mean you can pay women for that sort of thing, if you're into it, but genuine, sincere 'old school' relationships - particularly romantic, but also friendships, seem to be harder to find. Your friends seem to be those you grew up with or work colleagues, and you may have a few close 'bosom buddies.' Apart from high school sweethearts, it seems relationships these days are kind of shallow, based on money, a common goal/religion etc rather than a 'soul-mate' type connection. It's because people are so concerned about their career, or status or lifestyle. Of course many are not like that, but a good percentage are. I find dating sites kind of disillusioning in a way; apart from the fact I've had so little success, it seems to be about ticking boxes. But I digress, I think today's world revolves too much about money and status, and is not very supportive of genuine relationships. They do happen, but marriages and close relationships are too often put under strain.
You sound a little sad and dissolusioned with the whole dating scene and if you have been trying to find that "soulmate" on dating sites the chances are fairly slim that you will. I am sure some people do find their special someone like that but I wouldn't bank on the high success rate that you see advertised. The world has changed over the years with regard to dating ethics. I hear from parents of teens how frustrated they are with what goes on sexually with the kids in schools, grown women are now into this friends with benefits thing..having sex with a good friend makes me feel ill and I don't understand it.
I am a firm believer that there is someone for everyone out there as I am sure this is the case for you. It does sound, however, that you may be looking in the wrong places. You can meet people in restaurants, shopping, at a gym, while out for a walk most anywhere. I met my present husband at a job I had...he is 10 years younger than me, never been married and I adore him as he does me.
Stay away from the dating sites for a while...don't be sad...get out, meet actual people in public. Start conversations with women in grocery stores, in the park....smile alot. Nothing wins a woman's heart any faster than a NICE man with no secret agenda other than being her friend...good luck
Both men and women are looking for that 'right' person, but both genders usually put looks 1st, then money-material wealth a close 2nd, then charm, personality, sense of humor, honesty, and trust not too far behind.
As Americans we have it backwards. It really should be in reverse order if you're looking for a long-term commitment!!!!!!
But forget Internet dating!!!!!!!!! I think that's only for desperate people. Trust me, nobody should be that desperate.
Sadly, it seems so...it seems these days it's easy enough for a 'fling', I mean you can pay women for that sort of thing, if you're into it, but genuine, sincere 'old school' relationships - particularly romantic, but also friendships, seem to be harder to find. Your friends seem to be those you grew up with or work colleagues, and you may have a few close 'bosom buddies.' Apart from high school sweethearts, it seems relationships these days are kind of shallow, based on money, a common goal/religion etc rather than a 'soul-mate' type connection. It's because people are so concerned about their career, or status or lifestyle. Of course many are not like that, but a good percentage are. I find dating sites kind of disillusioning in a way; apart from the fact I've had so little success, it seems to be about ticking boxes. But I digress, I think today's world revolves too much about money and status, and is not very supportive of genuine relationships. They do happen, but marriages and close relationships are too often put under strain.
I completely disagree. There are many thriving secure long-term relationships around me, and I have certainly had my own. And internet dating works quite well, thank you. "Based on money"? Hogwash. You've had some back luck apparently, but to let that taint your view of the entire dating arena is akin to throwing the baby out with the bathwater.
I have to disagree as well. While there may be new sources for dating in the 21st century, the rules of attraction haven't changed. The bars and clubs are filled to capacity with single people looking for someone. If things have changed so much as you suggest, then who's watching all those sappy chick flicks that come out every year?
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
World too fast paced for genuine relationships?
I think that's only for desperate people. Trust me, nobody should be that desperate.
"Based on money"? Hogwash. You've had some back luck apparently, but to let that taint your view of the entire dating arena is akin to throwing the baby out with the bathwater. 
