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I honestly don't understand why there is so much emphasis on being married these days. If you ask me, it only makes things a hell of a lot more expensive and complex if problems arise.
First off, there is no guarantees to getting married.
The other person can still: Cheat, fall in love with others, engage in reckless behavior, spend money like no tomorrow, rack up meaningless debts and so on. Not to mention the other person can EASILY file a divorce so there is absolutely no guarantee that she will be there forever. There is also little stigma about being divorced, since it is relatively common these days.
Second, you can still do everything that married couples can do when you are dating. You can still live with each other, have kids, love, sex and so on. Not to mention that if any problems arise you don't have to spend tens of thousands of dollars in divorce court. All you have to do is rent out a mini storage, pack your bags, and find a new place. Also you don't have to spend tens of thousands having a wedding.
Of course if you aren't married you can't:
Claim 50% of the other persons assets/income as yours
Collect alimony
If you are a guy who likes to have a woman around or the type of man who likes the supposed benefits of marriage then simply find a faithful girlfriend and become deeply involved with her. When the subject of marriage comes up just say you'll get married to the right person but you don't want to rush into things. After 1 year when she starts pressuring you into marriage just stall some more by saying you want to achieve xyz goal (buy a house, start a business, start your own law practice, graduate from college, get a good career going etc.) When you achieve those goals just tell her that you don't want to get married. If she really loved you then she won't go anywhere and instead, compromise for you. Not to mention she'll also be heavily reliant on you so she won't go anywhere.
Of course, if she does leave you then she wasn't the right girl for you anyways since she only cared about her selfish agenda - getting married and tying you down!
Also, you can still play as if you are husband/wife. Just get rings, call each other wife/husband and tell other people that you are married. They'll never know!
Of course, I do recommend getting married for some people, mainly:
deadbeats
Chronically unemployed
overall losers
alcoholics who don't want to work
Welfare nut cases who enjoy living off someone else
You strike me pretty much as a glass half-empty guy, a hard-boiled poseur. You're the kind of guy who, upon winning the Powerball, would complain about the taxes you'll have to pay. I'm kind of glad that you have such low expectations, for with that kind of attitude in life, you'll be lucky if a woman ever says "Hello" to you in the grocery store. Let alone, "I do" in front of a Justice of the Peace.
You keep citing all the ways a marriage can go wrong. Yet, when marriage works, nothing in the world beats it. The trick is to not be a complete idiot when choosing your mate.
I basically agree. I'm not married and do not intend to marry. However, many people can see the benefits and many find it romantic indeed: if someone is willing to commit, you may feel more valued and loved. That's up to each individual's taste. There are religious or traditional reasons behind some marriages, and there are women who are housewives and need the financial security (that's working for the family after all). So, although I see marriage in more or less the same light you do, I understand people who still want to get married and I don't think that wish necessarily reflects negatively on them.
Gosh....can we say bitter? Who pea'd in your Cheerios? Sorry but it sounds to me like you are an embittered divorced man and you have just laid out all your bitterness for lots of young folks, old folks and in between folks to read and I'm here to tell you, your advice was anything but good for any of them. Sorry...just my opinion but the more I read about your idea of not marrying a woman the more exasperated I found myself getting.
For starters...I am a 61 year old woman. I have been married 3 times and believe it or not...loved the first one with all my heart, kept a clean house for him, had a beautiful son for him, worked when he would not, bailed him out of jail when he got arrested for drugs....forgave his mean posterior end when he cheated...divorced this jerk and only wanted $50.00 a week for child support, no alimony and I took our beautiful son and RAN for my life. I don't like him, don't want to ever see him again...he could fall of the face of this earth and I wouldn't toss him one more lifeline...I am fresh out. He's in Maine where he is from with his wife..oh, he stole HER from another guy..her ex husband.
My second husband, when I met him was a cook in a small restaurant...we had been child hood sweethearts..oh, I forgot, you are not into the gooey real love stuff but bear with me. We had dated in 7th grade. We grew up, he went to Viet Nam, I married Nit Wit #1...ahhhh love. I came home and kissed a few more "frogs" and then found my second husband. We were married a year and he had a massive heart attack and died.
I now stayed single for 6 more years..finished raising my son alone, dated some, no interest in marriage at this point. I met my present husband at work and we became great friends. We spent lots of time talking, walking, movies, lunches out at work and got to know each other. He had his interests...golf, family and I didn't interfere. We just got along so well. We moved in together and our interests grew...we bought a home together...still no mention of marriage. We both were pretty content with our lives yet felt that something more was missing. What was missing was that commitment people make to each other to love, honor, cherish and forsake all others..OH...I digress...you are not into that stuff.
Look, I understand you are not into the marriage scene and I am sorry you got raked over the coals by someone but don't be giving all the unmarried, young people the wrong idea here on what a good marriage can be. If you want to be a "PLAYAH" for the rest of your years...go ahead that is your business. Remember...when you get old and feeble...and you will...you may very well end up alone in a rest home with no one who cares enough about you to actually be there...she will be out looking for someone to MARRY!!
Gosh....can we say bitter? Who pea'd in your Cheerios? Sorry but it sounds to me like you are an embittered divorced man and you have just laid out all your bitterness for lots of young folks, old folks and in between folks to read and I'm here to tell you, your advice was anything but good for any of them. Sorry...just my opinion but the more I read about your idea of not marrying a woman the more exasperated I found myself getting.
For starters...I am a 61 year old woman. I have been married 3 times and believe it or not...loved the first one with all my heart, kept a clean house for him, had a beautiful son for him, worked when he would not, bailed him out of jail when he got arrested for drugs....forgave his mean posterior end when he cheated...divorced this jerk and only wanted $50.00 a week for child support, no alimony and I took our beautiful son and RAN for my life. I don't like him, don't want to ever see him again...he could fall of the face of this earth and I wouldn't toss him one more lifeline...I am fresh out. He's in Maine where he is from with his wife..oh, he stole HER from another guy..her ex husband.
My second husband, when I met him was a cook in a small restaurant...we had been child hood sweethearts..oh, I forgot, you are not into the gooey real love stuff but bear with me. We had dated in 7th grade. We grew up, he went to Viet Nam, I married Nit Wit #1...ahhhh love. I came home and kissed a few more "frogs" and then found my second husband. We were married a year and he had a massive heart attack and died.
I now stayed single for 6 more years..finished raising my son alone, dated some, no interest in marriage at this point. I met my present husband at work and we became great friends. We spent lots of time talking, walking, movies, lunches out at work and got to know each other. He had his interests...golf, family and I didn't interfere. We just got along so well. We moved in together and our interests grew...we bought a home together...still no mention of marriage. We both were pretty content with our lives yet felt that something more was missing. What was missing was that commitment people make to each other to love, honor, cherish and forsake all others..OH...I digress...you are not into that stuff.
Look, I understand you are not into the marriage scene and I am sorry you got raked over the coals by someone but don't be giving all the unmarried, young people the wrong idea here on what a good marriage can be. If you want to be a "PLAYAH" for the rest of your years...go ahead that is your business. Remember...when you get old and feeble...and you will...you may very well end up alone in a rest home with no one who cares enough about you to actually be there...she will be out looking for someone to MARRY!!
I totally understand your point. As I said, although marriage is not my cup of tea, I can see why so many people want or even need to be married and i Have friends and family who are living proof of the bliss that can come with it. There are several reasons for getting married and all of them are legitimate. However, I think you make a mistake when you assume those who do not get married can't have a committed, loving and long/forever-lasting relationship to each other. Unmarried people aren't invariable players or individuals unable to commit. Of course, many single people have no idea how to have a successful relationship through the years but then, many married people have no idea either! It's particularly difficult in today's culture where options seem to be infinite (they're not, but they're represented that way) and it's so easy to change your mind. But this, again, applies to married and unmarried people alike.
But I do have to say it is so easy to get jaded. Marriage, can leave a bitter taste in your mouth.
I know for me it will have to be one hell of an amazing woman(like PTC!), for me to even consider getting remarried. Hehehe wink wink.
But really marriage just isn't forever anymore. Men and women alike give up on their partner, take the other for granted, get mad and leave. People grow and change.
Don't mind me I am bitter to the whole experience.
You don't have to be married in this day and age, but I think it's good to have that kind of commitment because it makes it harder to just walk away when things get tough. You're more likely to work it out (if you can) when you're married.
I was married many years ago in my 20's and have been divorced for about 13 years now. Truthfully I'm a little jaded towards marriage, but that doesn't mean I don't want a lifelong commitment and if the right guy comes along I'd get married again. I just don't think I have to be married.
Way overrated in my book...but it's true I'm not objective, being the son of divorced parents (they divorced when I was still in infancy, and there was quite a nasty struggle between them as to who would be my caretaker) I have a personal issue with marriage and an unconscious feeling that it's bound to fail....
Relationships are trying at best, but when they are working they are the greatest. When they dont there isn't a deep enough hole. I think there comes a time when you realize it may not be a bad deal though and every one is on their own pace to find it out. Granted if they revised the divorce/alimony laws, the pace may quicken for many.
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Marriage Overrated or not?
), for me to even consider getting remarried. Hehehe wink wink.
