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Location: Fort Bend County, TX/USA/Mississauga, ON/Canada
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& emotions? Why does whenever a woman express how she feels, it often sends a guy running away scared. I can understand if it was a little early in the relationship, that's never good but overall, I think that boys are generally afraid of women expressing emotions/feelings over them. Men are not.
From my experiences one wants to express all his or her feelings and emotions and blocks out the partner's feelings, emotions and opinions, as if there is only room for one person's emotions in a relationship or friendship.
Not at all. Most men wallow in feelings, as do most women. Just take a look around this forum. Social convention dictates, only, that men and women express their feelings differently. It is more socially acceptable for men to express anger (even violently), frustration, vexation, outrage, etc. -- less so for women. It is more socially acceptable for women to express sadness, distress, affection, etc. -- less so for men.
I wouldn't say men are afraid of feelings. Generally, however, men tend to make decisions / judgments primarily based on rationalization and logic. A few women do as well, but most tend to be more likely to follow their emotions.
Please don't take this as sexist - this is a generally accepted, researched fact. Its not that one way is right or wrong, they are just different.
This doesn't scare men, so much as exasperate them. There's no "reasoning" or "discussing" when the position on the other side is "I feel..." I speak from experience. Limited, but experience nonetheless. Its like speaking to someone who is speaking a foreign language. You know they are trying to say something, but you can't understand it. Its not that men don't have emotions, its that in a lot of circumstances, its hard for us to tap into them in terms of decision making. So when you do, we are baffled, and have no idea how to continue .
& emotions? Why does whenever a woman express how she feels, it often sends a guy running away scared. I can understand if it was a little early in the relationship, that's never good but overall, I think that boys are generally afraid of women expressing emotions/feelings over them. Men are not.
Thoughts?
In my experience, men have just as many feelings as women. The reason they don't give in to them or seem to be running away from them, is simply due to the way they are hardwired. Men tend to look at things from a perspective of logic and reason only. Woman are hardwired to use both sides of their brain at once (unlike men who have a tougher time doing that) so we can feel our emotions AND reason. Men aren't "scared" by emotions, they just don't understand why getting them all mixed in with the reality of a situation is necessary
In my experience, they are not afraid of all thoughts and feelings, just the ones that do not reflect them in a positive light.
With that said, this , to me, is in all humans.
I need to get something 'out' whether it be good or bad. It needs to be discussed in order to let it go or to work out any problem.
If it is a problem, to him, he does not want to hear about it. I feel it needs to be in the open to be able to be resolved, and by keeping it bottled up inside, can make things worse.
So, if he does not want to hear about it, I have got to talk to someone about it.
Then we run into the, "Why did you talk to her about this?" situation.
It is sort of a no win situation for me, I find...
As a man, I find myself, avoiding negatively emotional events. It is easy to block out physical pain. Matters of the heart are a completely different story.
False. Real men are wonderful about dealing with feelings. Frankly, I've always had more male friends than female friends because I find I can talk to men SO much better than I can talk with other women. Maybe it's because I tend to be calm and deliberate and don't get into hysterics. Hysterics make ANYONE uncomfortable!
Men are so funny -- they like to "fix" things, even when they can't, and that sort of response makes me feel better. If someone has wronged me and I talk about it with a male friend, the reaction often is "I'll go and take care of him/her for you!" They don't, LOL, but it makes me smile and feel better to have them say it anyway. I guess it makes me feel supported and protected, like a big brother would.
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