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BTW, I am not saying staying home is a bad thing (some seem to be taking my posts that way). I'm saying it's no longer necessary and children don't turn out better based on mom staying home. So much work has been taken out of housework and we have fewer children thanks to birth control so that we are now capable of holding down full time jobs and still doing the job of parent. Times have changed and I'm glad.
Times have changed and I listed the changes. Most of us don't live on the farm anymore, most of the services mom at home provided are now, inexpensively, available for purchase, most of the work has been removed from the home by modern conveniences and we control our own fertility (probably the number one reason mom was home back then). Life today is very different than it was for women through the ages. Birth control is the greatest labor saving device known to womankind. (pun intended) We're no longer slaves to our biology. The fact some have not caught up with the times doesn't make mom at home better or necessary. There are still some religious circles today still preaching mom should be at home when the need for her at home no longer exists. If there were a need for mom at home, you'd probably see some kind of difference that makes a difference in children based on their mother's working status. You don't so it doesn't matter.
I said mom would likely be uneducated if she can't afford decent day care. If her earning potential is that low, she's probably uneducated and maternal education is one of the things that matters WRT how kids turn out. I did not intend to make a connection between maternal education and day care. I'm not sure what the connection would be. The connection I was talking about is the one that says that maternal education at time of birth is one of the things you can base child outcomes on. Since income, usually, goes up with education, I speculated that a mom who can't earn enough to cover good day care is probably uneducated so she has other issues to take care of. The more educated the mother at the time of birth, the better the outcomes for the children.
And the fact you never encountered working moms before only means you came from a backwards place. It was pretty common for women to work when I was a kid back in the 70's where I come from. Are there backwards areas where SAH is still considered what women do? I'm sure there are. A lot will have to do with job opportunties, educational opportunities and the avialability of day care. If you're in an area where there are few jobs for women, say a coal mining town (just hazarding a guess based on a friend's description of the town she grew up in), you're probably not going to see a lot of WM's.
first, ask you to clarify how you were connecting the education/daycare subject was not a jab at either you or your viewpoint-- what I meant was: are you mainly referring to those who have kids before they themselves are educated, or people who have kids and then decide they need more education?
second, your cracks about "backwards" areas are way out of line. it's an entirely middle-class environment.
first, ask you to clarify how you were connecting the education/daycare subject was not a jab at either you or your viewpoint-- what I meant was: are you mainly referring to those who have kids before they themselves are educated, or people who have kids and then decide they need more education?
second, your cracks about "backwards" areas are way out of line. it's an entirely middle-class environment.
I'm not connecting the two. I'm saying that if mom has very little earning potential, she's probably not educated. However, given that 75% of educated women stay in the work force, there probably is a connection between use of day care and maternal education. Second that because education is often an indicator of earning potential and in order to use day care, you have to be able to earn enough to afford it. So, yeah, there's probably a connection. I can't state it in numbers but it seems logical given the above.
The data on the impact of maternal education says that it's maternal education at birth that matters. One of the best predictors of how children will turn out is how much education mom has at the time of their birth. Something about having an educated mom appears to be good for kids. I have to assume it's not her income because researchers usually correct for income. I'd guess genetics plays a part here but it's maternal educaiton before birth that seems to matter so who knows here.
Sorry, I don't mean to offenc, but where I am, you'd have to be in a pretty backwards area to not have women in the work force. The majority of mothers have worked for the past 40 years. If someone comes from a place where mothers don't work, that's pretty backwards compared to where I am. It, certainly, hasn't been the norm for the better part of 40 years here. Working moms have been the norm and day care has grown in response to that.
Where I am, you have to go back to the 1950's to find a time when most mothers stayed at home. The 1970's to find a time when day care was rare. When I say backwards, I just mean out of step with the times. If you look at census data, working mothers have outnumbered stay at home moms for a long time.
Last edited by Ivorytickler; 04-06-2009 at 07:17 PM..
And the fact you never encountered working moms before only means you came from a backwards place. It was pretty common for women to work when I was a kid back in the 70's where I come from.
I found this statement interesting. I grew up in the late 60-70's in middle class suberbia, dayton, ohio. All the mothers I knew of were SAHM except a couple divorced women who had to work. After we moved to rural TN I notice most all the women worked. One would think rural TN would be the backward place.
You are not alone. During our first separation, I registered on an on line dating site (had to register to see his profile which I needed a copy of for the court) and I got a rediculous number of responses from men much younger than me. STBX told me to take my income and job title off of my profile and they stopped. Engineer with a six figure income drew a lot of attention. Hmmm? I wonder what would happen now that I'm a high school physics teacher making 1/3 that amount? Any bets?
If you're talking about gold-digging guys, I mean if you think that's what I'm implying, it was not. I am independently wealthy, and I'm from a very wealthy family, so if anything I have to protect myself extremely carefully. Even if a girl's income is fairly large, unless she also has a large amount of money, she could make that much for her whole life and never have more than me, so it's not threatening to me and it's not a concern as far as gold-digging her, haha. For me it's because I love girls who are career-driven and ambitious, I love the girls you see in films like a Lara Croft Tomb Raider, or in TV like Jennifer Garner's Sydney Bristow from Alias, tough as nails girls who are also sexy. That's hot to me. I don't respect girls who have mediocre life goals, and if I don't respect a girl i find it hard to have a relationship with her. Same is true of guys frankly. I don't make friends with guys who are mediocre.
I found this statement interesting. I grew up in the late 60-70's in middle class suberbia, dayton, ohio. All the mothers I knew of were SAHM except a couple divorced women who had to work. After we moved to rural TN I notice most all the women worked. One would think rural TN would be the backward place.
I've encountered that, also... seems it's not really a matter of certain places/lifestyles being "backward," it's more along the line of guys being so irresponsible that no woman in her right mind who understands the situation would trust those types of guys to be "sole wage-earner."
Remember waaay back when women used to iron "our shirts" fellas. Well at least my mom ironed my dads and my grandmother ironed my grandfathers.
Remember home cooked meals that were actually made form scratch on a stove and not a microwave? I was raised that way. I cannot stand anything from a nuke-machine.
Do you still exist ladies?
I'm a domesticated male but I'd like to have a lady that can actually do domestic work as well.
I am a domesticated lady. Married for 25 years to a man that didn't appreciate me. Told me it's my duty as his wife to do those things for him. I left and still haven't found a man that appreciates me. I thought this was a good quality to have but apparently it's just expected? Guess I just haven't met the right guy yet?
I am a domesticated lady. Married for 25 years to a man that didn't appreciate me. Told me it's my duty as his wife to do those things for him. I left and still haven't found a man that appreciates me. I thought this was a good quality to have but apparently it's just expected? Guess I just haven't met the right guy yet?
Well, it takes more than domestic skills to attract and keep a guy. What else do you have to offer? And yes, you haven't found the needle in the haystack yet. Keep looking.
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