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Let's say you know there is nothing going on this weekend, a friend calls wanting to get together for a girl/guy time. How do you go about it? Do you ask your SO if it's okay for you to go? Or do you tell him/her you are going? I know there are other considerations for some of you, like the kids. I'm just referring to how you guys handle activities without your SO.
My ex wasn't happy when I'd make plans to meet up with a friend. I quote, "I don't appreciate you telling me you are meeting up with (friends name)." I would first ask if he had plans for us, or if there was something going on that I may have forgotten. However, as a grown adult, I'm not going to ask for permission. If there's nothing going on, I'm outtie.
Thoughts?
Hubby and I do the same thing. We ask each other if the other has plans or if we had something planned. If the schedule is free then either he or I will go out. We don't ask for permission-never did and we established that early on in the relationship. We know our boundaries and don't take advantage.
Let's say you know there is nothing going on this weekend, a friend calls wanting to get together for a girl/guy time. How do you go about it? Do you ask your SO if it's okay for you to go? Or do you tell him/her you are going? I know there are other considerations for some of you, like the kids. I'm just referring to how you guys handle activities without your SO.
My ex wasn't happy when I'd make plans to meet up with a friend. I quote, "I don't appreciate you telling me you are meeting up with (friends name)." I would first ask if he had plans for us, or if there was something going on that I may have forgotten. However, as a grown adult, I'm not going to ask for permission. If there's nothing going on, I'm outtie.
Thoughts?
I don't ask permission. But with three kids, two incomes, and a host of activities, it's not all about me either. So I compare schedules with my wife. And she does the same with me.
My ex was a total control freak..so I admit I am a bit hinky with anyone needing me to 'ask permission' to do anything. Anyway, I have learned that it is much healthier to have other activites and friends than JUST your SO. I have no problem with a SO wanting to hang out with his buddies, as long as he wasnt seeing them more than me. LOL Just simply mentioning it and and making sure we dont have plans or that I wasnt planning some big thing for us is fine.
"Babe, I'm going out on such and such day with such and such"
Period
Me too. And him, too.
He works a weird, rotating schedule, though--sometimes his "weekends" are two days, sometimes three--and they are always shifting and not always on a real weekend though, so we usually know four or five days out what we're doing. He always brings it up because I gave up tracking his days off about 2 years ago.
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