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Old 04-06-2009, 03:32 PM
 
19,378 posts, read 12,026,743 times
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Not me or them, we just don't want or need the same things. Men can make decent friends, if you find the right ones. But I've come to realize that some people can never be in relationships with the opposite gender because they are too much of one thing (too male or too female in some aspects that cannot be compromised). Ex: some men are too sexually/variety driven for a monogamous relationship and some women require levels of emotional depth and intimacy that men cannot reach or maintain.
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Old 04-06-2009, 03:41 PM
 
Location: Texas
44,257 posts, read 64,072,561 times
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I think these stereotypes exist b/c there are a lot of people who are really like that.
Not all...maybe not even most. But a lot.
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Old 04-06-2009, 03:41 PM
 
14,727 posts, read 33,251,747 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tamajane View Post
Not me or them, we just don't want or need the same things. Men can make decent friends, if you find the right ones. But I've come to realize that some people can never be in relationships with the opposite gender because they are too much of one thing (too male or too female in some aspects that cannot be compromised). Ex: some men are too sexually/variety driven for a monogamous relationship and some women require levels of emotional depth and intimacy that men cannot reach or maintain.
I was agreeing with all of your comments, until the underlined one. The difference is needs is probably the root of battle of the sexes. I think that the entitlement problem is a much bigger problem that this one -- and that this "intimacy" explaination is used as eyewash over that one. Most of the guys I know that have divorced, want a divorce or are miserable attribute it to the nag/entitlement problem.
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Old 04-06-2009, 03:42 PM
 
Location: In my skin
9,230 posts, read 16,493,148 times
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I've given plenty of examples of how screwy my relationships have been. I am the common denominator, I make no bones about it. But I still love men.

It's women I have a problem with, and I've never dated one.
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Old 04-06-2009, 04:49 PM
 
19,378 posts, read 12,026,743 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by robertpolyglot View Post
I was agreeing with all of your comments, until the underlined one. The difference is needs is probably the root of battle of the sexes. I think that the entitlement problem is a much bigger problem that this one -- and that this "intimacy" explaination is used as eyewash over that one. Most of the guys I know that have divorced, want a divorce or are miserable attribute it to the nag/entitlement problem.
That was just an example of differences without going into huge negatives. I don't consider the male example of needing variety to be a terrible thing, it's normal for some, but an obvious impediment to a relationship. Same with a woman's need for a lot of emotional intimacy, not a bad thing just something that might be overwhelming to men. Some might even think of it as nagging but if you don't think communication is a female need, read some relationship books. Sometimes compromises cannot be made here, so in those cases long term relationships cannot work.
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Old 04-06-2009, 06:02 PM
 
14,727 posts, read 33,251,747 times
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Originally Posted by tamajane View Post
Some might even think of it as nagging but if you don't think communication is a female need, read some relationship books.
The nagging I have seen or my friends have complained about was "honey dew" lists and tangible/monetary requirements...NEVER something in the emotional realm. The entitlement problem I refer to is never qualitative --it can be quantified and for which the answer ought to be "get it yourself."
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Old 04-06-2009, 07:17 PM
 
Location: CA
3,467 posts, read 8,120,057 times
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Funny how this has turned into some people complaining about how there are no good men/women out there
Someone hold a mirror up....
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Old 04-06-2009, 09:41 PM
 
720 posts, read 1,405,132 times
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I am so confused about this post. I will say I am the one to blame....sounds more romantic and tragic that way.....right??? I am difficult....clean freak, OCD overload sometimes....sorta maybe tad bit controlling....only b/c my way is the right way...your way is always wrong......LOL...
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Old 04-06-2009, 09:45 PM
 
1,530 posts, read 3,777,724 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cpg35223 View Post
I read a lot of posts on here by people of both sexes who are apparently fed up with the other gender. If an alien fresh off the mother ship read these posts, it would think that all men are self-centered, ESPN-obsessed pigs who are slaves to the needs of their testicles, while all women are self-centered b****es who only need a man to subsidize the feathering of their nest, provide them with children, take out the garbage, kill bugs, and move heavy furniture.

What gives? If you keep having recurring problems with the opposite sex, has it occurred to you that maybe the common denominator is you? Are you simply dense, or do you just make terrible choices? Please explain to us how you keep getting into these terrible relationships over and over again. The rest of the people on this forum would really like to know.

Thanks for listening.
LOL!

Let's face it, we all want a mate that's out of our reach. Most of us have to settle, so most of us are going to end up frustrated and end up being exactly how your fresh-off-the-mother-ship-alien describes.

Like it or not, mating is essentially a discriminatory process with the more alpha types have a better time of it. Unfortunately us the majority of non-alphas are thus destined to be frustrated and unhappy.

No doubt this is partly why alchoholic beverages are so popular, LOL!

In any event, the TV inspired ideal is to be young, good looking and rich. Now really, how many of us actually are all three of those, or even two of them?

And therein lies another root of the problem. The mass media has made images of the ideal life so common that most of us, when comparing ourselves to those images, are destined to come up short.

I mean really, how many women can compete with the airbrushed image of Allesandra Ambrosio that's on the poster at Victoria's Secret this month? How many men can compete with whatever the male counterpart is?

Face it, most of you (us) are destined to be misearable. Heck even the rich and famous get into and out of a lot of relationships. Difference is... they can *afford* it.
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Old 04-06-2009, 09:46 PM
 
1,530 posts, read 3,777,724 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by killer2021 View Post
It is probably me. I have very high principals.

1. never pay for anything (unless it is my portion)
2. Don't really like going out, prefer staying home and doing stuff
3. My work is the most important thing in my life, above relationships

Hence the reason I don't really give a damn for serious relationships anymore and instead prefer booty call relationships. Works a lot better for my lifestyle.
Sounds like your Leykis 101 type, LOL!

Leykis, what a maroon, LOL! Who ever let him rise to the level of "Rush Limbaugh of the women and children haters" and paid him in the process is beyond me.
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