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So YOU are the guy who doesn't want kids trying to convince his SO that kids are bad.
Life is what you make it. Anyone who doesn't want kids just because they can't sleep in on Saturday or have sex in the living room are selfish jerks who shouldn't have children.
Marked off a space on my bingo card with this one.
people plz fill dis...dis is a psychometric test for ur marital satisfaction..plz fill dis...dis is a survey on as to whether couples with same profession have more marital satisfaction or vice-versa...
Okay....wow, where to start? Yeah, if you do not want kids (hate them) and your SO does......do NOT have kids! That is where the trouble starts. If you think that nothing is going to change with your life when you have kids.....OMG .....do NOT have them.
Myth debunked on a couple of things here.....well, or we're just freaks who get off on defying the odds. We lived together for 2 years before marrying. Oops. Having children made our marriage and relationship BETTER! When I think of how close we are....we've been....laughing together as the kids had their "firsts"...smiles/holding their bottles/crawling/steps/laughter....got teary eyed their first day of school...united when they came home sad because someone was mean. When I think of all the "finish lines" we've stood at together, holding hands when our children crossed it.....our grandchildrens' births. I don't know what else to say, you know? Everything we do.....everything our kids and grandchildren do.....we look at each other and exchange that look....those feelings, those chuckles and swells of pride. Yeah...maybe we're just freaks who have made the decision to defy the odds....but I don't think we're alone! LOL
About the only rational driver I can see for marital satisfaction dropping from children is the current work load. Without extended families and two working people we have made it a bit hellish from that respect. Some people must have really hated their parents. In that case perhaps its good that the madness does not continue. The US will soon be known as the Mormon-Mexican state.
And in other news, meteorologists determined that the sky is blue, zoologists observed that a bear defecates in the woods, and theologists confirmed that the Pope is Catholic.
Last edited by MillennialUrbanist; 09-08-2018 at 11:37 PM..
Not going to lie. Kids can add stress to a marriage. The are devourers of time, money, and mental energy.
Yet if I had to choose, I wouldn't give mine back for all the money in the world. That's the difference between instant gratification and long-term fulfillment.
Status:
"I don't understand. But I don't care, so it works out."
(set 7 days ago)
35,629 posts, read 17,961,729 times
Reputation: 50652
Quote:
Originally Posted by silverwing
What, does the truth scare you?
It's not the first one that's been done, yet it reaches the same conclusions as previous studies. Actually, probably one of the first studies of this kind was the informal poll Anne Landers did back in 1975. She asked "if you had to do it over again, would you have had kids?" An estimated 10,000 people responded; 70% said they would not have kids. That being a non-scientific study, not a whole lot of people took the numbers seriously, but it was probably the first venue where parents felt comfortable enough to say "yanno, sometimes having kids just sucks."
I remember that, silverwing. I was in High School and read Dear Abby and Dear Ann and remember how dismayed - shocked - she was at the response to her question. It was really a profound moment, to realize that although this wasn't scientific, it was still very likely true. That most parents wish, in retrospect, that they didn't have kids.
The problem here, is it's a really tough job and you can't walk away. Even if you could legally walk away and send your kids away somewhere else, your heart wouldn't let you. "When you have kids, you agree to let your heart walk around outside your body". That's so true. Other roles in life, when you get exhausted from them, you can walk away from. Quit your job. Divorce your spouse. Sell that house you've grown to hate. Move across the country and start over. But you can't with kids. You love them more than your own self - literally - and their troubles/ailments/disappointments are magnified more than your own difficulties.
Young parents often say well, when he is out of diapers, or boy will I be happy when I can sleep through the night, have no idea. None. They have no idea that they are in the sweet spot of parenting, and the little tiny annoyances and irritations are absolutely nothing when you have a little one. If that child is healthy and fairly mainstream, you're rolling in sweet hay at this time.
The agony of seeing older kids, trying so hard but unable to realize their dreams, or worse making terrible choices that threaten to ruin their lives is a pain I don't think parents of a chubby baby can even imagine in their futures.
So yeah. Puts a little bit of a strain on a marriage, when BOTH of you love that person more than they love their own selves but might have different ideas on the best way to parent.
And it doesn't end. You have a 30 year old who's struggling with her marriage, a 35 year old who has a serious health concern . . . and then you get grandkids and it starts all over.
On the other hand, I firmly believe if you don't have children you don't understand humanity. (Love for your nieces and nephews isn't the same. It's not the same profound connection to the past and the future and ALL of humanity you get when you have children. Suddenly, life, the future, the past, clicks into very sharp focus when you hold your first baby).
On the other hand, I firmly believe if you don't have children you don't understand humanity. (Love for your nieces and nephews isn't the same. It's not the same profound connection to the past and the future and ALL of humanity you get when you have children. Suddenly, life, the future, the past, clicks into very sharp focus when you hold your first baby).
Bingo! (Props to those who got the reference.)
Really, now? People have been "understanding humanity" for 2 million years by now. And look where it got us.
#kittens #puppies
I remember that, silverwing. I was in High School and read Dear Abby and Dear Ann and remember how dismayed - shocked - she was at the response to her question. It was really a profound moment, to realize that although this wasn't scientific, it was still very likely true. That most parents wish, in retrospect, that they didn't have kids.
The problem here, is it's a really tough job and you can't walk away. Even if you could legally walk away and send your kids away somewhere else, your heart wouldn't let you. "When you have kids, you agree to let your heart walk around outside your body". That's so true. Other roles in life, when you get exhausted from them, you can walk away from. Quit your job. Divorce your spouse. Sell that house you've grown to hate. Move across the country and start over. But you can't with kids. You love them more than your own self - literally - and their troubles/ailments/disappointments are magnified more than your own difficulties.
Young parents often say well, when he is out of diapers, or boy will I be happy when I can sleep through the night, have no idea. None. They have no idea that they are in the sweet spot of parenting, and the little tiny annoyances and irritations are absolutely nothing when you have a little one. If that child is healthy and fairly mainstream, you're rolling in sweet hay at this time.
The agony of seeing older kids, trying so hard but unable to realize their dreams, or worse making terrible choices that threaten to ruin their lives is a pain I don't think parents of a chubby baby can even imagine in their futures.
So yeah. Puts a little bit of a strain on a marriage, when BOTH of you love that person more than they love their own selves but might have different ideas on the best way to parent.
And it doesn't end. You have a 30 year old who's struggling with her marriage, a 35 year old who has a serious health concern . . . and then you get grandkids and it starts all over.
On the other hand, I firmly believe if you don't have children you don't understand humanity. (Love for your nieces and nephews isn't the same. It's not the same profound connection to the past and the future and ALL of humanity you get when you have children. Suddenly, life, the future, the past, clicks into very sharp focus when you hold your first baby).
Or maybe some of us understand humanity well enough that we know that creating more humans isn’t a good idea.
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