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You seem overly sensitive to cold looks from women. You noticed that about that last woman you dated. Why is that? Did your mom give you stern looks as a child?
Not overly sensitive but I am a perceptive and observing type of man. I pick up on these things and usually I'm not wrong.
Ok, so it's dumb to be anally overanalyzing, agree. But it's not good bein completely careless either, right? Where do you put the boundary between "overanalyzing" and "careless?"
It is somewhere in the middle. Definitely I am someone that is not careless about who I go out with and certainly have good street smarts and a good read on people. But on the other hand, I view an evening out as just that, an evening out. I don't read all these expectations into an evening out as some people seem to do.
And if the woman has a lot of expectations of me then that is their problem.
The problem I have with us Americans is we get things done. Which is actually fine in many cases but the downside is we don't stop to smell the roses so to speak. Instead of going out for a nice evening we are cycling hundreds of questions through our brain or verbalizing them, reading all these expectations into something, thinking five years down the road, trying to "accomplish the mission" rather then focusing on the moment in time.
Sure I think it is appropriate to ask yourself whether you would want to take it further or whether you want to be in between their legs or not, but I'd not pressurize yourself with all this other crap. Live life, enjoy the moment, have a nice evening and that is that. When the sun comes up the next day that is tomorrow and you can worry about that then.
If I like a guy, I go cavewoman on him. I just cup a cheek and give it a friendly grasp, or I'll reach around from behind and tweak his nips. If I really like him, then I may go for broke - aka the crotch grab. Works like a charm.
By the way, I am totally kidding. Well, not really. Yes, yes, of course - I am totally kidding. Or not.
WOmen, what are your signs of interest? I don't even mean sex. I mean, subtle hints you drop that you:
- are having a good time
- would like 2 see him again
- are open to sex that night
.................
I had a date last Friday. Dinner, drinks at bar 1, drinks at bar 2, late night snack at a bar/restaurant. But no sex. Conversation went well, but we ended up talking about a few non-relationship topics (the girl was smart and down to Earth and had strong opinions on a few issues).
Over drinks, relationships were talked about too. Great atmosphere. But I felt this woman was nice and I am not the type who screws around. And there was no chemistry of that type. So... no moves were made. I took her home, politely said good night, and thusly ended the evening.
Based upon my experiences...
-She touches you. Things like touching your arm while making a point, brushing against you while you walk to the car.
-If you are sitting at a bar-type table that is round without a definitive side, does she sit "closely" to you
-You notice that she is subtley "checking you out"
-Smiles at you with her eyes
In cases where this happened and I'm not a 1st date type guy....it wasn't a ton more dates before both parties began fully expressing their happiness with the other.
Based upon my experiences...
-She touches you. Things like touching your arm while making a point, brushing against you while you walk to the car.
-If you are sitting at a bar-type table that is round without a definitive side, does she sit "closely" to you
-You notice that she is subtley "checking you out"
-Smiles at you with her eyes
In cases where this happened and I'm not a 1st date type guy....it wasn't a ton more dates before both parties began fully expressing their happiness with the other.
My husband is the only man I slept with on the first date and your list pretty much describes my mannerisms.
Normally I'm very reserved, but I naturally found myself touching him on his arms, chest and thighs. I remember on our first date sitting alongside him at a bar and having my leg up against his.
I like guys better because you can "tell" when they are interested. They usually have a pop tent and stare deep into your eyes. I love that deep eyes look.
That sounds like very mature and respectful behavior for your age group. Oh wait, no it doesn't.
Quote:
Originally Posted by orangeapple
If I don't like someone, it is clear & obvious. I will be flippant & make faces & even bluntly say I am not interested. Of course, some guys think this is playing "hard to get" & like that I am "feisty" .
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