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All good relationship books say the same thing in slightly different ways. Unfortunately not enough people are reading them and have poor relationsip skills or simply the wrong motives for getting into relationships. Lets face it, this society has made a mess and a mockery out of "relationships" in general. We all have learned how to use people to get what we want and that is about it. Very few people actually wish to connect with people void of receiving a whole lot in return.
To the poster above: I dont agree that no relationship is the answer to a bad one. No relationship and bad relationships are both extremes that human beings should not have to enounter on a regular basis. But all too often these are the only choices.
What happens when you eventually becoming tired of playing your little games and manipulation tactics and all your messing around with women that you never really cared about and they never really cared about you (because you so obviously view women as inferior to you and little play things for your amusement) and you wake up one day and realize that you are ALONE?
Yeah, by acting like this you may get what you want at the moment and you may never be embarrassed or be the guy who can't score but you don't fall in love this way either.
A meathead like Killer can care less about being in love as long as he still gets what he wants.
All good relationship books say the same thing in slightly different ways. Unfortunately not enough people are reading them and have poor relationsip skills or simply the wrong motives for getting into relationships. Lets face it, this society has made a mess and a mockery out of "relationships" in general. We all have learned how to use people to get what we want and that is about it. Very few people actually wish to connect with people void of receiving a whole lot in return.
To the poster above: I dont agree that no relationship is the answer to a bad one. No relationship and bad relationships are both extremes that human beings should not have to enounter on a regular basis. But all too often these are the only choices.
People are pretty selfish. Too many get into relationships to make themselves happy. Very few think about how great it would be for someone to be in a relationship with them.
As for having to choose between no relationship and a bad one, sometimes those are the only choices. Imagine if you were gay but everyone else was straight. Or you were Jewish and everyone else was Catholic. Do you "adjust" your standards and end up with someone you don't really have a connection with. Not everyone is cut out for relationships and some will never be happy in one just because of who they are. On some level, we all have to settle for something less than our ideal. The trick is to know how much to settle.
I like to see what women are reading these days (about relationships) just so i know what to do when these situations come up in the dating scene. One of the popular book that is out is steve harvey's "act like a lady - think like a man."
One of the interesting things I've read was the 5 questions every woman should ask. I found this section particularly interesting because I would say these questions come up often. He not only talks about the questions but gives good responses and bad responses. If a man wants to stay in the game with a specific female he should answer these questions very precisely. Lieing is optimum because if you are honest, she will just put you in the gay friend zone. It doesn't matter how much time energy or money you spent on her. Answer these questions wrong and you will get NOTHING:
1) what are your short-term goals?
Good response: You want to have realistic short-term goals. Good responses are going to college to get xyz degree, working to achieve xyz goal or getting a promotion.
Bad response: No short-term goals.
2) what are your long-term goals?
Alright in this question she is trying to gauge where SHE will fit into your life. Most of the short-term goals should be related to career, money or education. The long-term goals on the other hand will relate more towards family life.
Good response: something a long the lines of the "white picket fence house with your wife" fantasy that every woman wants. A good response would be that you want to eventually get married to the right girl and have some kids. You could also say stuff like traveling etc.
bad response: No view on family life or the long-term goals are the same as the short-term goals.
3) what are your views on relationships?
Good response: The key thing she is looking for is, "are you willing to commit." Also talking about family is important. Say you want a family and have children. Almost every woman wants a family.
bad response: you don't want kids or a family/wife. Bad relationships with mother, god or you don't want to commit.
4) what do you think about me?
Good response: You have to show that she is special to you. You want to talk about both the physical attributes and personality. Don't just say, "I think you are a nice girl and have soft skin." You have to give specific examples. The examples show that you've been listening to her and analyzing her not just ignoring her as she blabs on and on.
Bad response: generic responses. "I like your hair. I like your lips." without any examples.
5) how do you feel about me?
Good response: Once again this is another question where you have to make her think she is special to you. You have to express emotion for her. Say stuff like you miss her when she isn't around or when you first see her it makes you very happy. I just enjoy being around you. I feel complete when I am with you and when you are not around I feel like something is missing in my life.
Bad response: for example, I think you are good and a nice girl to hang around with.
Remember, most of these questions are deal breaker questions. If you give any bad responses, she will put you in the gay friend zone. Which basically means she won't ever have sex with you. Not in a million years. It doesn't matter how nice you are to her. Being nice will NOT get you laid, it gets you married with kids you never even wanted in the first place. Just like men who want multiple girls women also want multiple guys to provide for them. Harvey suggests four guys every woman needs, which are:
1) old rich guy - can't have sex, loves your company and spends money on her.
2) the player - sucks at life in general but has a great body and great at sex. No serious commitment (---- guys, you want to be this guy.
3) the nice guy - this is the guy she will marry and have kids with. Withholds sex and commands a lot of requirements.
4) The gay/ugly friend - provides attention and listens to how she plays and manipulates the nice guy. Never wants sex and enjoys listening to various chick talk. Also this person will NEVER have sex with her, ever, not in a million years.
I would say the book is decent to read because it shows what tactics women are using to get what they want. How to manipulate men. I know guys are also in that game but women are doing the EXACT same thing to guys. If you don't know what you are doing you'll get taken for a sucker pretty quickly. The main agenda is withhold sex and try to control a man. Have the man pay for everything and only reward good behavior (with sex). Eventually lock the man down by forcing him to get married to you. The book suggests using ultimatums, having high standards and setting your price high. Likewise the book talks about how to selectively love someone. If they don't have a plan - pass on them. If you don't make xyz money - pass on them. The only way you will love is if he passes zyz requirements.
Of course my dating methods will bypass all of these requirements. Getting what you want for as little effort as possible is the name of the game. For a man, the most important thing to do is get your act together. The more money you've got the less she can put up ultimatums and requirements as suggested by the book.
What a misogynist!
A lot of people self-appoint themselves as experts. This guy is promoting distrust, using people, and just plain narcissism.
Being nice will NOT get you laid, it gets you married with kids you never even wanted in the first place. Eh, a lot of men want kids. What a dumb statement.
I think you posted this for reactions and you got them.
I'm tired today, maybe question #6 after grilling the guy should be "Why am I single?". jk.
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