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Old 04-15-2009, 10:19 AM
 
Location: Philly
1,776 posts, read 3,994,893 times
Reputation: 834

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My girl does this. For instance, she will ask questions that she knows the answers to. Like this morning she asked me the last time I worked out. I'm at the gym in the AM before work by habit at least 4x per week. And she knows that.

When I read it, I got annoyed. My response (in the nicest tone) was "As you know I try to get there every weekday morning, if I can.......". She replies "I know, just making conversation."

I don't want to make this a gender thing, but is this something that ladies tend to do? Or does either sex do this in a LTR for the sake of communication? Is there another way to do this?

We've had discussions about this before. I try to assume that she's really asking 'How was the gym this morning' or something like that, but I hate assuming, and if that's what she wanted to know, she'd ask that. Sometimes I can be too literal, but as my SO, questions like that really pluck at my nerves!
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Old 04-15-2009, 10:23 AM
 
35,939 posts, read 30,488,406 times
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I dont think it is a gender issue. My boyfriend does this also. Its just his nature to always be engaged in conversation and Im more of the quiet type. I just answer yep or nope. That annoys him.
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Old 04-15-2009, 10:23 AM
 
Location: Chicago, Illinois
3,047 posts, read 9,002,421 times
Reputation: 1385
well, starting conversation and asking stupid questions are two entirely different things. also, some people don't like lulls in conversation so they'll fill the void. i'll make conversation just to make the day more interesting but i'm not going to ask a question that i already know the answer to.
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Old 04-15-2009, 10:32 AM
 
28,896 posts, read 53,958,432 times
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I'm not one of those people who are uncomfortable with silence and will blurt out anything just to talk. At the same time, I do enjoy good conversation and don't have a problem initiating it.

However, in the eight years since I sold my biz and began working out of the house, I've found the lack of human contact during the day to affect me somewhat. So when my wife comes home from the office, I have to really restrain myself from talking all about my day and hers. She is in a high-stress job and usually needs a good 30 or 45 minutes to just decompress. It was very hard for me to learn to just leave her the heck alone while she gets the office out of her head.
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Old 04-15-2009, 10:46 AM
 
8,518 posts, read 15,596,386 times
Reputation: 7711
I see nothing wrong in just making conversation. I know some people can't stand it, which is why the person "making" conversation needs to be observant and look for signs that the other person is open to talking. Some people talk too much about nothing. Those people wear me out. On the other hand, if you're someone who can never engage in small talk, it makes me wonder what the big deal is.
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Old 04-15-2009, 11:19 AM
 
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,606 posts, read 55,793,234 times
Reputation: 11862
Some people just can't appreciate silence and non-verbal communication - in fact I would say a lot of us have grown unaccustomed to it. We're too occupied with things.

On the other hand I can sympathize with the wife who feels neglected, whose husband barely says a word to her, who has to try to make conversation.
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Old 04-15-2009, 11:23 AM
 
12,585 posts, read 16,879,979 times
Reputation: 15255
Quote:
Originally Posted by IZthe411 View Post
My girl does this. For instance, she will ask questions that she knows the answers to. Like this morning she asked me the last time I worked out. I'm at the gym in the AM before work by habit at least 4x per week. And she knows that.

When I read it, I got annoyed. My response (in the nicest tone) was "As you know I try to get there every weekday morning, if I can.......". She replies "I know, just making conversation."

I don't want to make this a gender thing, but is this something that ladies tend to do? Or does either sex do this in a LTR for the sake of communication? Is there another way to do this?

We've had discussions about this before. I try to assume that she's really asking 'How was the gym this morning' or something like that, but I hate assuming, and if that's what she wanted to know, she'd ask that. Sometimes I can be too literal, but as my SO, questions like that really pluck at my nerves!
Oh no she did-nt!!

I would have switched the roles on her and played the woman...

"Are you saying I'm fat?!?!?"

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Old 04-15-2009, 12:01 PM
 
Location: The Hall of Justice
25,901 posts, read 42,554,680 times
Reputation: 42767
Quote:
Originally Posted by At1WithNature View Post
well, starting conversation and asking stupid questions are two entirely different things. also, some people don't like lulls in conversation so they'll fill the void. i'll make conversation just to make the day more interesting but i'm not going to ask a question that i already know the answer to.
^ I agree!
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Old 04-15-2009, 12:06 PM
 
35,939 posts, read 30,488,406 times
Reputation: 32209
Quote:
Oh no she did-nt!!

I would have switched the roles on her and played the woman...

"Are you saying I'm fat?!?!?"

Good one Funnymann
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Old 04-15-2009, 12:07 PM
 
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,606 posts, read 55,793,234 times
Reputation: 11862
Are any other guys here like me - they want a gf so much they are almost envious/long for all the negative things that come with relationships? Like the nagging, small talk.etc? Well maybe not the nagging, but the other things? haha
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