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I agree, wholeheartedly. My daughter who plays the piano has no issues with self esteem. My daugther who has yet to find her niche struggles. I could see her turning into a bridezilla. We're hoping sports is her thing. She's 13 years old and already 5'10" and the basketball coach has his eye on her. I've got my fingers crossed. If she finds something she's good at and knows it, she won't need others to tell her what she's worth.
Just the idea that you're so aware of it, makes your daughters' odds all that much better. I figured you were a piano player, either that or you had a thing for fondling bar soap.
Just the idea that you're so aware of it, makes your daughters' odds all that much better. I figured you were a piano player, either that or you had a thing for fondling bar soap.
I play the piano but not as well as my 11 year old daughter. She passed me by about two years ago.
You do realize that, thanks to this post, I'm never going to be able to look at a bar of Ivory soap and not crack up laughing.
It is ridiculous, right? And would seem to take away from the joy of the event. I gotta wonder how much of this phenomenon is just old fashioned one-ups-man-ship. Not even knowingly, but just how high is high? Then of course you become prey for the merchants that live for this kind of thing. It becomes a very selfish unattractive thing, doesn't it? Not to mention an all around pain in the ass for everybody that has to dance to that frenetic tune.
For some it appears that appearances are everything. If the substance isn't there to back that up then there will be a sad ending.
For some it appears that appearances are everything. If the substance isn't there to back that up then there will be a sad ending.
All too often, that is the case. The more the wedding is intended to impress, I'm betting the less subtance the union has. Most weddings I've been to for marriages that lasted were modest affairs put on by reasonable people. You know the kind who can discuss things and come to reasonable decisions.
I really do think the grand weddings, when you can't afford them, are an attempt to get recognized. To feel like you're more than you feel you are. Unfortunately, what is there after the wedding? I can imagine it's much like the ex high school football star looking back on his sports career.
Now keep in mind the grooms parents are upper middle class at best and my parents are upper middle class and definitely not rich or wealthy. The bridezilla and groom both had good paying jobs for their age but spend much of what they earn.
Not trying to dispute your family's income, but it just triggered a thought...
I saw some thing on the news or a documentary (something like that) and it was about how most Americans see themselves as middle class, whether they truly are or not. They'd show people with several luxury cars in the driveway of a large, expensive home and they'd say they are middle class. Then they'd go to some rundown neighborhood and talk to a family living paycheck to paycheck and they'd say they are middle class. No one wants to think of themselves as poor, working class or wealthy.
Just a funny observation, and I wonder how people's viewpoints of where they are on the economic/social ladder influences what they think they "should" have & what is "normal" when it comes to something like a wedding.
I know in advertising, we try to make people feel they "need" something because "everyone" has it or does it that way. Yes, advertising is evil, muwhaha
Just a funny observation, and I wonder how people's viewpoints of where they are on the economic/social ladder influences what they think they "should" have & what is "normal" when it comes to something like a wedding.
I know in advertising, we try to make people feel they "need" something because "everyone" has it or does it that way. Yes, advertising is evil, muwhaha
You bring up some interesting points. What is middle class? What is poor? What is rich?
I know that there is some standard pat answer somewhere on the web.
But makes you wonder. I would think most people would be middle class. That being said middle class income would probably vary quite a bit based on where you're located in the country. The Bay area middle class is definitely different then say somewhere deep south.
Yes, advertising is quite the tricky devil.
Advertising sells you what is called "identity enhancers", they sell an image not a product per se.
So your bitterness and hatred of women is based on your personal experience. As suspected.
No matter what I say, you'd say I'm bitter. Assumptions are most of your commentary on CDF.
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I got only 2.5 hours of sleep because in addition to child care I had to (1) work part-time from home to supplement our income; (2) do everyone's laundry; (3) do all the cleaning; (4) take care of all the household paperwork, insurance claims, litigation, etc.; (5) cook for the baby and the husband); (6) shop for food and household necessities (I guess since I was the one at the check-out, I guess I was the one "consuming" what I actually bought for my husband; (7) take care of all the doctors' appointments; and (8) entertain my husband when he got home. I was lucky to get 2.5 hours of sleep.
Your husband must need a lot of entertaining, or you're not very efficient. Items 2-7 take maybe 2 hours a day. You don't have a washing machine and dryer? How many minutes does it take to load a washer, then move closes to the dryer? 2.5 hours of sleep is an exaggeration and you know it. Litigation? C'mon, you might as well throw a moon trip in there. Healthy meals can be prepared in less than 20 minutes, dishes in dishwasher within 5 minutes. Shopping is an hour a week max. I do virtually zero paperwork, as everything's auto-paid.
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Why is wanting a big house more reprehensible than wanting a Bentley?
You're assuming again. His toys are worth in total only a tiny fraction of her toy, which is about $300K of extra house, money borrowed. He didn't want the big house, but it was either that or hear endless whining, she made it clear.
Yes, it does matter what you say. Based on what you say, you come across as very bitter. Your demonstrated and pretty much admitted vicious, intemperate and relentless hatred of women amply supports that assessment.
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Originally Posted by Heiwos
2.5 hours of sleep is an exaggeration and you know it.
No it isn't. And yes, I do have a washer and drier -- but washing everything separately, ironing and folding takes a lot longer than 5 minutes. Nor does it take 10 minutes to clean the house, though perhaps you just have a very liberal definition of "clean".
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Originally Posted by Heiwos
Litigation? C'mon, you might as well throw a moon trip in there.
Yes, we were involved in litigation, and I was our attorney. On the other hand, your claim that you do 100% of the childcare, followed by a remark that you will have your son for the weekend did strike me as a bit ... inconsistent.
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Originally Posted by Heiwos
Healthy meals can be prepared in less than 10 minutes, dishes in dishwasher within 5 minutes.
Yeah, if you consider Campbell's Chicken Soup healthy. We don't eat convenience foods or anything that contains preservatives or artificial additives (which excludes most microwavable, frozen and canned foods). That stuff is not "healthy" in our book. We lead a very healthy lifestyle, and it's not something I "impose" on my husband. And, the baby's things must be washed by hand.
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Originally Posted by Heiwos
Shopping is every 2 weeks, for an hour max.
We buy everything fresh. That means shopping every day.
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Originally Posted by Heiwos
I do virtually zero paperwork, as everything's auto-paid.
Insurance claims don't process themselves. Neither does junk mail.
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Originally Posted by Heiwos
You're assuming again. His toys are worth in total only a tiny fraction of her toy, which is about $300K of extra house, money borrowed. He didn't want the big house, but it was either that or hear endless whining, she made it clear.
Well, evidently, it's now endless whining and gossiping on his part. And yours. Settle these issues before you get married -- and if you do get married, don't act like someone put a gun to your head.
Right now there is going to be two wedding showers on the east and west coasts, several bridezilla(bachelorette!) trips to NYC and Aspen or SF and then before the wedding a weeks worth of huge parties and events at the ski resort we are doing this wedding at. Then the honeymoon which is a three week extravaganza down under staying at $1000 a night resorts.
Now keep in mind the grooms parents are upper middle class at best and my parents are upper middle class and definitely not rich or wealthy. The bridezilla and groom both had good paying jobs for their age but spend much of what they earn.
Wow that's ridiculous. Someone should have put their foot down, preferably the groom (in which case no wedding probably).
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What irks me about all this is the focus is on all the extensive parties and trips and gifts and dinners and events and not about two people starting their life together. Something is missing in this whole deal and it's all ass backwards. I don't think we need all that crap and it takes away from why we are there to begin with.
Well put.
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I play the piano but not as well as my 11 year old daughter. She passed me by about two years ago. 
