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Dennycrane, I love DennyCrane. Boston Legel is such a good show and it still blows my mind that Captain Kirk is DennyCrane.
Back to the subject matter. I have been married for 23 very unhappy years. Kids are finally grown and out of the house, cept for one who had to move home. But at this stage they are all capable of taking care of themselves. Now I feel it's my turn. I am scared so very scared. I have a good job, but have health care through hubby, so first things first. Finding a new job with good benefits is a must, then selling this house which no one will want in this ecomony and they finally freedom from a cold loveless marriage. Saving money and getting on with my life.
One thing I want to do is move out of this state, I am in Midwest. Never liked it here would like to move out west but the cost of living, housing there is so much more and not knowing a soul is scary. At least here I would have two of my kids around and some family and friends.
Has anyone just picked up and started across country? How did that go?
You start by just packing a suitecase, or not even & then opening the door & walking out. It can't be any worse than 23 years of your life being unhappy. You already know what the bottom feels like; wouldn't you like to wake up smiling?
Jus wondering since I have heard it can range from $20.00 - $40,000. I don't mean how much you lost to your spouse but how much the lawyer cost, fees, filing charges, etc. And what prep did you do before telling your spouse you were even thinking about it?
My husband and I spent $23K and didn't actually get divorced. That just got us to a court date.
This thread has been helpful to me . I am not married but I know some people who are about to get a divorce. Thanks to all who gave ideas, links, and info on affordable divorces.
Dennycrane, I love DennyCrane. Boston Legel is such a good show and it still blows my mind that Captain Kirk is DennyCrane.
Back to the subject matter. I have been married for 23 very unhappy years. Kids are finally grown and out of the house, cept for one who had to move home. But at this stage they are all capable of taking care of themselves. Now I feel it's my turn. I am scared so very scared. I have a good job, but have health care through hubby, so first things first. Finding a new job with good benefits is a must, then selling this house which no one will want in this ecomony and they finally freedom from a cold loveless marriage. Saving money and getting on with my life.
One thing I want to do is move out of this state, I am in Midwest. Never liked it here would like to move out west but the cost of living, housing there is so much more and not knowing a soul is scary. At least here I would have two of my kids around and some family and friends.
Has anyone just picked up and started across country? How did that go?
Just wondering.. were you unhappy from the day of the wedding? If so.. you really have nobody to blame but yourself... I hate to sound like an @hole, but there is no excuse (and thus, no sympathy) for 23 years...
Mine would've been $500, except we had to file for separation first due to a home mortgage lender requirement, so that was another $400 as I recall. That was a big eye opener, that a lender could force us to be married longer. The ex had moved out of state, so I went to the ex-parte court. I asked the lawyer what "ex-parte" meant and he said it was when only one party was present. I said great, where's the no-parte option? The whole thing was a joke. The judge just rubber stamped it after asking a few questions in monotone, all info that could easily have been submitted online and was already in the file. Marriage is an industry that feeds many people, I learned.
My divorce cost me $11 dollars, but the ex-wife and I did not have kids and she pretty much just wanted out to go see her new boyfriend she met online. Even as it was, after figuring everything out one afternoon she said, "well I guess that's it huh?" So I said "yeah I guess so, how about one last go," if you know what I mean. So we jumped into bed and had a heck of a romp.
At court, the judge asked her 3 times if she wanted ½ the farm and each time she said no. In the end it cost me $11 dollars to have the deed to the farm switched over from our name to just my name. He banged his gavel, I gave her a kiss and a hug and that was it.
Jus wondering since I have heard it can range from $20.00 - $40,000. I don't mean how much you lost to your spouse but how much the lawyer cost, fees, filing charges, etc. And what prep did you do before telling your spouse you were even thinking about it?
Divorce rates vary according to what you are hoping to get out of the divorce. The more work the attorney(s) have to do the more you will pay. If you simply want OUT and have no interest in the home, bank accounts, other material goods or children then it is cheap. I have been divorced for well over 30 years and back then, I think it was less than a thousand dollars. I turned our junk of a house back over to him...had over a foot of water in the basement all the time, wallpaper peeling, roof leaking, no furnace, no hot water heater...it was a mess..he got that and I took my son and ran back to CT from Maine. He ended up losing the house back to the FHA (mortgage at that time was only $135.00 a month) and someone bought it for next to nothing and fixed it up.
There is no "prep" to do before telling your spouse you want a divorce, it just kind of happens and you decide what you want to do and simply tell them...no prep is necessary. You either want to be married or you don't. My ex made it easy for me. He took off with a married woman, I packed my bags, grabbed my son and LEFT...and I mean left. I drove close to 500 miles to get away from this nit wit...he comes back from his little trip to GEORGIA and is all upset and crying because I left Maine..go figure...OH...I forgot..he didn't get his "PREP"...see what I mean?? You either do it or you don't.
I filed for divorce in September and was totally divorced by that January...as a matter of fact it was final on his BIRTHDAY...January 9th. I called him and said to him, "I always wanted to get you something for your birthday that would last a lifetime. How about a divorce", then hunf up. It was true poetic justice!
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Boston Legel is such a good show and it still blows my mind that Captain Kirk is DennyCrane. 
