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Dude. I didn't read the previous posts. I can give you some advice. First, panic attacks suck, don't they? Horrible. I hope, as many people do, you come to a place where they are controlled and you understand the physiological processes that they are. Hardly easy, I know. I've had them. But hang in there. And it's YOU hanging in there. You are the same person you have always been, and I hope I don't even need to tell you that.
As for this girl, she might be great. Really. But perhaps the maturity of this relationship, or this girl even, or you, is just not there. I'd sit it out. I'd sit waaay out. I think you are trying to do what you really need to do--get time away to sort it all out. You know, I could be wrong, and you will make the decision about that--you know yourself better than I do, of course--but this is so much like a message to myself when I was younger. And that message is to start new, and away from this person. So here's my advice: take some time away, refuse any connection, and get a sense of who you are in this and what you need (time, my friend). That doesn't mean it won't work out someday, but if you try to hold this up by effort, by following emotion alone, it WILL fall. I promise it will hold itself up if it's worthy of you.
Good luck, and I'm routing/rooting (?) for you, whatever you decide. ...and if you are honest with yourself, really honest on all levels, the worst you will do is get hurt and learn and grow. Not so bad!
...by the way, Connecticut Pam has good advice. And I'm pretty much agreeing with what everyone said about this girl's lack of maturity and selfishness. I don't know her, either, but I'd bet a lot of money that she means well and wants to do right and be loved and wanted...and that she is, for the moment, in spite of ALL OF THAT, a snake.
Thanks guys!
I totally agree with all of your advice, though I didnt change my number, just blocked hers lol.
Being a week and a half away from the situation, it makes a lot more sense to me now, im much happier away from this. She seems shocked that I don't want anything to do with her and im not chasing her haha, shocking =)
Relationships come and go and people in college and high school have no clue what dating or relationships are all about. You see a bunch of people acting all big and grown up but on the inside they are really ignorant, misinformed, and mixed up. It's truly pitiful. Good luck
Quote:
Originally Posted by Flguy11
Hi all, I am in my first year of college and I was recently dumped. Prior to my time in college I was a popular person and never had trouble with women. At the beginning of the school year (september) I met a girl who was the most amazing person I have ever met. The circumstances in which we met made it feel like fate, (from totally different areas of the country, met at a location where none of us frequented) The relationship was great, I went to her home state for New Years and always solved our problems without many fights.
I treated this girl as if she was the most special person in the world, I would do anything for her, possibly where I went wrong. Anyway, 2 weeks ago I had a panic attack and she was with me when I had it. Instead of supporting me and being around me until I was ok, she told me that she had made plans to go to a party and she was going, leaving me at home alone.. The next day, she has the audacity to make me out to be the bad person and say that i was hiding this condition from her (I hadn't had one since 16, I thought I was over it). Well now that we are broken up, and with summer vacation almost here, there is no real reason to get back together. All she says is that, we cant be together right now, but I can see us together in the future. But when she gets to drinkin with her sorority sisters, she will text and call saying that she is still in love and it reverses any progress that I have made of moving on. I cant bring myself to ignore her because she still means so much to me.
I know this is a lot to read but I had to get everything out there and get it off my chest. I would be so grateful for any advice, this is my first major relationship/ breakup.
Thanks guys!
I totally agree with all of your advice, though I didnt change my number, just blocked hers lol.
Being a week and a half away from the situation, it makes a lot more sense to me now, im much happier away from this. She seems shocked that I don't want anything to do with her and im not chasing her haha, shocking =)
Keep up the good work. If she comes begging dont just automatically cave in. And if you really want it to come to the point where she will always be the one chasing you, then take her back, then dump her in a "so sorry", tears in your eyes kind of way. Then diss her completely. She deserves what shes got coming.
I hope I'm not turning into some of the bitter posters who frequent this place by giving you advice on how to mess with a person's mind. LOL.
I will say i was in a MAJOR relationship before meeting my husband. I seriously thought that i was going to marry this person. found out that he was totally insecure (put on a good front though) broke up with me- slept with 20 ppl. I was totally devistated- was depressed for 8 months didnt sleep/eat. i NEVER thought he would do that to me. 2 yrs later i had the oppertunity to take him back but choose my husband instead. (he had NEVER left me or hurt me) Today we've been married 3 years going strong- great trusting relationship. If it is ment ot be it WILL be.. you can't force things and although this is the ONE in your life now- maybe this is just something you can learn from. maybe she wants to see other ppl.. thats why shes making a big deal out of ur panic attack (if she really loved you she would put you first- and NOT make fun of you) (i used to have panic attacks too) some ppl are lost and selfish. I hope this helps.
Don't play mind games with her...just turn the table and dump her. Be nice about it...but be firm...she left...which is a pretty good indication she will run again. So be a man...tell her she's not the one for you...and let her know you really don't want anything to do with her relationship wize. You could always throw the dog a bone and tell her you can still be friends...but there is no chance of a meaningfull long term relationship.
Keep up the good work. If she comes begging dont just automatically cave in. And if you really want it to come to the point where she will always be the one chasing you, then take her back, then dump her in a "so sorry", tears in your eyes kind of way. Then diss her completely. She deserves what shes got coming.
I hope I'm not turning into some of the bitter posters who frequent this place by giving you advice on how to mess with a person's mind. LOL.
I wouldn't advise that - it would make him just as mean as her (although I understand why you would - it's human nature to want to take revenge!).
Please don't let this experience keep you from treating your next girlfriend well. Like other posters had said, this girl was simply too immature and selfish to be in such a serious relationship. There are some girls who will ready, who will not go partying when you have a panic attack or be upset that you didn't tell her that you have them. And who will appreciate being treated well.
If she ever contacts you again, tell her she wanted it to be over, so the relationship is over and she needs to move on. Trust me whne she gets through meeting the jerks the world has to offer, she'll deeply regret breaking up with you.
Thank you all for your advice!
I will now definitely take this as just a bump in the road.
I definitely need someone who appreciates me, and im definitely not going to be jumping into anything anytime soon.
She is yanking you. Grow a set.
Since you want her back, you need to play hard to get because she needs to realize that you can do without her.
(Don't respond to her texts right away etc. or respond with "sry, busy, gotta run...talk later" and then DO NOT respond to further texts until the next day sometime after noon.)
Heck, I would strongly urge you to go out on a date or two. Odds are you two will never work out. Stand up for yourself, firmly and not in a mean way.
(I personally wouldn't play games, but I'm older and thats just me. The game playing suggestions is only directed if you want to date a flghty soroity girl and there is nothing wrong with that....it's like Jr. high...maybe punch her in the arm? lol)
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If she comes begging dont just automatically cave in. And if you really want it to come to the point where she will always be the one chasing you, then take her back, then dump her in a "so sorry", tears in your eyes kind of way. Then diss her completely. She deserves what shes got coming. 
LOL.
