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Old 04-20-2009, 08:17 AM
 
Location: San Diego
42,327 posts, read 38,379,476 times
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Recently many of my friends(some old some new) seem to be getting divorces. It seems that the lack of sex appears to be a big issue and a factor in the divorce. Three of four that are open about it say it is because the spouse got really fat and it became a turn off. Two guys and one girl asked me if they thought they were wrong for not wanting to be intimate with someone that heavy. I really didn't have an answer, thoughts?

How big is too big before you lose interest? 20 lb, 40 lb? Doesn't matter? Would you be considered shallow if your Spouse gained 100 lbs and you didn't want to indulge?
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Old 04-20-2009, 08:20 AM
 
2,057 posts, read 5,154,771 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 1AngryTaxPayer View Post
Recenty many of my friends(some old some new) seem to be getting divorces. It seems that the lack of sex appears to be a big issue and a factor in the divorce. Three of four that are open about it say it is because the spouse got really fat and it became a turn off. Two guys and one girl asked me if they thought they were wrong for not wanting to be intimate with someone that heavy. I really didn't have an answer, thoughts?

How big is too big before you lose interest? 20 lb, 40 lb? Doesn't matter? Would you be considered shallow if your Spouse gained 100 lbs and you didn't want to indulge?
If my future wife gained over 15 pounds then then I would slap her with divorce papers so fast that she would not know what hit her.

People can call me shallow or any other name in the book. I really dont care. It is DISGUSTING

Of course it will be excused during pregnancy and a couple of months directly afterwards
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Old 04-20-2009, 08:23 AM
 
Location: Back in the gym...Yo Adrian!
9,413 posts, read 19,272,514 times
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All depends on the circumstances. Did they gain the weight because they got lazy and just let themselves go? Or was it a result of an injury or depression? If you love someone enough you do all you can before it gets to that point to inspire or motivate them to maintain a healthy weight. But if they choose to just let themselves go and show no desire to lose the weight, then I don't see anything wrong with not wanting to be intimate with them.
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Old 04-20-2009, 08:38 AM
 
Location: Maine
7,727 posts, read 11,631,840 times
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As we get older our bodies change. Many women put on some weight as do men. We all need to look beyond the superficial.
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Old 04-20-2009, 08:38 AM
 
Location: Incognito
7,005 posts, read 19,928,438 times
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I love the wife regardless if she weighs 1 ounce or 1000 pounds. Divorcing for weight issues is just plain stupid.

Last edited by Mr.Cat; 04-20-2009 at 09:22 AM..
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Old 04-20-2009, 08:51 AM
 
28,900 posts, read 50,406,117 times
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Well, that's really shallow.

That being said, I think that both parties in a relationship need to understand that sexual attraction should remain strong throughout the life of the marriage. And taking good care of oneself is part of it. I mean, no realistic guy will ever think that his wife's going to be a size 2 forever. But the inability to take basic care of one's health is a sign that the person just doesn't care for himself or herself. And that person doesn't care how the partner in the marriage feels about things either.

Here's the thing. It's just not that freaking hard to not balloon up to the size of a Macy's parade float: Don't eat like a pig and get some moderate exercise every day. You don't have to be a gym rat subsisting off alfalfa sprouts. Just think before you open your mouth.

Today's my 18th anniversary, and I weigh a whole five pounds more than when I said "I do." And when it came to looking good for my wife, I just didn't view the wedding ceremony as the cotton-picking finish line.
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Old 04-20-2009, 08:52 AM
 
29,033 posts, read 25,617,081 times
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Quote:
Divorcing for weight issues is just plain stupid.
I agree. Same as if they lost too much weight or became disfigured. If you love someone a few pounds shouldnt be a deal breaker. By the same token if you love your SO, you should try to keep yourself physically healthy and as attractive as possible.
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Old 04-20-2009, 08:52 AM
 
Location: In my skin
9,230 posts, read 15,464,529 times
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I gained weight after a back problem and I felt like crap. That said, I'm not sure I would divorce someone over it, but I would definitely get on them about losing the extra pounds. I prefer a healthy partner. Being overweight is not healthy.
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Old 04-20-2009, 08:59 AM
 
510 posts, read 1,490,085 times
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I Love her, Period. The only reason weight would be a problem is my concern for her health, and selfishly, I want to be with her longer.
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Old 04-20-2009, 09:02 AM
 
370 posts, read 993,088 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 1AngryTaxPayer View Post
Recently many of my friends(some old some new) seem to be getting divorces. It seems that the lack of sex appears to be a big issue and a factor in the divorce. Three of four that are open about it say it is because the spouse got really fat and it became a turn off. Two guys and one girl asked me if they thought they were wrong for not wanting to be intimate with someone that heavy. I really didn't have an answer, thoughts?

How big is too big before you lose interest? 20 lb, 40 lb? Doesn't matter? Would you be considered shallow if your Spouse gained 100 lbs and you didn't want to indulge?
A person cannot help it regarding being sexually attracted to someone. There is your emotional connection and then physical chemistry. If someone becomes a fat cow you are not going to be able to help not wanting to have sex with them but unfortunately you are still going to have sexual desire. That is where the problems start in the marriage. There is no excuse for someone letting themselves get fat. I have had three children and am 42 and still weigh what I did when I graduated college. I can still wear a bikini and look good. It is not easy at all as a matter of fact is sucks sometimes when you are eating a grilled chicken salad with no fat dressing and no desert and everyone else is eating pasta and desert and having drinks. As you get older you have really watch what you eat as in no desert except once a month and eating hardly anything compared to those around you, but you get use to it. I also have to work out at least 4 days per week. But if you want to stay healthy and have a good sex life with your husband you have to. The husband or wife cannot expect to put on the pounds and have their spouse be attracted to them. As far as the weight gain being caused by a medical problem that can be attacked after the problem is over and the weight can be lost. IMO great sex is far better than any food you can eat.
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