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Old 04-21-2009, 08:12 PM
 
Location: VA
549 posts, read 1,925,322 times
Reputation: 348

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Do people tell secrets to others that will inevitably reveal the secret to someone else that knows the effected? I know, it's a counter-intuitive thought (like continually seeking abusive partners), but these are my observations...

I'm very good with secrets (IMO). I rarely divulge that person's secret to someone that knows him. Yet, in a small group of friends, I'm always informed by one friend from another. For example, "Jennifer" (a very good friend of mine) tells me secrets that our mutual friend, "Kate", tells her. Yet, Kate never tells me the information herself. The information doesn't involve Jennifer or me but it is relevant because it involves another person we both know.

Now, the kicker is that I would argue that I'm closer to Kate than Jennifer. I speak and hang out with Kate every once in a while outside of work. Jennifer, on the other hand, doesn't communicate with Kate outside of work. It's also well known that I keep secrets very well (Jennifer admits that she's telling me because she knows I won't say anything). Obviously, Jennifer isn't good at keeping secrets because she tells me every secret (haha).

I assume the reason is reciprocity. Because I don't share secrets with Kate, she doesn't share secrets with me. Thoughts?
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Old 04-21-2009, 08:38 PM
 
Location: Coachella Valley, California
15,639 posts, read 40,933,239 times
Reputation: 13467
My thoughts are ...... I wouldn't share any of MY secrets with either Kate or Jennifer!
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Old 04-21-2009, 08:50 PM
 
Location: In my skin
9,230 posts, read 16,496,894 times
Reputation: 9174
Yah, don't say anything to anyone you don't want the world to know.
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Old 04-21-2009, 09:06 PM
 
50 posts, read 133,837 times
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The only way to keep a secret is to not tell anyone, not one person. If you must talk about it talk to your dog, or cat or rabbit, they will keep quite, the bird I would be careful of however.
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Old 04-21-2009, 11:11 PM
 
Location: VA
549 posts, read 1,925,322 times
Reputation: 348
Quote:
Originally Posted by PassTheChocolate View Post
Yah, don't say anything to anyone you don't want the world to know.
I think I have under a handful of personal secrets that I'm taking to the grave. Though, I'm pretty open with most people I know. Honesty is my silver bullet.
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Old 04-21-2009, 11:12 PM
 
720 posts, read 1,405,441 times
Reputation: 641
If I have deep, dark secret I don't want ANYONE to know.... I duct tape my mouth shut and call it a day. If you don't want it on the 6 o'clock news....DON'T TELL ANYONE.
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Old 04-21-2009, 11:23 PM
 
Location: I'm around here someplace :)
3,633 posts, read 5,334,049 times
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I don't repeat things people tell me- I believe if somebody wants something kept confidential, it should be respected
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Old 04-21-2009, 11:38 PM
 
Location: VA
549 posts, read 1,925,322 times
Reputation: 348
I just find it strange that someone would continue to share secrets with someone that leaks the goods? Perhaps Kate doesn't know the secrets are being let out? That'd be fairly naive considering Jennifer and I are such good friends and ESPECIALLY considering the juice!
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Old 04-22-2009, 04:00 AM
 
18,270 posts, read 14,371,193 times
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Sometimes the person you think would never reveal your secrets, is the first one telling everyone everything. I've had relationships where men (exes) could not keep their mouth shut with their best friends and preety soon everyone knew everything. Same for me. I can keep a secret only for so long. Then I have to tell. Usually to someone who doesn't know them. Its not that I would like to gossip at all. But if its something really dark, I would want to discuss it with someone for my own sanity. There are some secrets that I would never tell though. Because it is too humiliating to the person to be revealed to anyone ever. So I keep my mouth shut.

In general, if you don't want people to know, don't tell anyone. And remember, walls have ears too.
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Old 04-22-2009, 05:07 AM
 
Location: Incognito
7,005 posts, read 21,268,561 times
Reputation: 5512
My only secret is I don't have any secrets. If I did it would be just that, a secret.
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