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I can see where it can perceived as selfish. But you really can't make or expect someone to feel something they don't. And if they don't, they really shouldn't be pressured to. The thing to do at that point is address why.
I think the why in question is he/she is exhausted and has to get up early.
If it he wants it, he always gets something. But to him, a backrub or head scratches is just as good, if not better.
He never says no to me, but I can tell when he's not feeling it (headache or tired or whatnot) and I'll refuse. Why would I want to if he's not going to enjoy to his fullest? That's how he feels when I'm not up to it too.
We make sure there is always intimacy, but if one of us isn't feeling up to it, I don't think it's selfish at all to decline.
Is a person selfish for turning down their SO when advancements are made for sex?
Of course not. But if it happens twice in a row then it becomes selfish.
Also, one shouldnt have to "ask". If you know your SO well, you can get them turned on no matter how they feel. I do it to my wife sometimes but she's usually always ready for sex.
I can't ever recall turning down an SO or vice versa....probably because we'd have to be obviously tired or sick and then the other would be courteous enough not to ask.
Ok so here comes the age old question of self responsibility. I am more than willing to help my partner through or with anything. I am not a mind reader and will not be able to anticipate her every need.
So your answer is it is the guys fault for not trying to figure out why she doesnt have the desire to romp about.
I am not going to push poke and prod to try and have sex. I will toss out a few signals if they are not picked up oh well. Better luck next time.
If I found my partner wanting something sexual or not, that I was not providing, I think it is on me to do something about it.
The problem as I see it with other couples is that the man wants sex on a regular basis. But the women also want sex, but it's part of the whole romantic love package.
Even in your posts, men are always talking about sex and the lack of it. And your approach is purely sexual also. Like wanting her to initiate the sex by grabbing your junk. I'm just suggesting that if you approach your woman more affectionately with some hugging and playful romantic flirting as a prelude to making love, you'd get better results.
It's really a turnoff to a s/o when a man is indicating that he's interested in sex and needs help with fulfilling his needs. Just saying that you are wanting sex is not really appealing. Then we feel like just a handy orifice. But if you tell your partner that she is beautiful and that she turns you on, that's a much better approach.
But if she is actually very tired and stressed from a long day of work, then it's the man that's being selfish by adding his physical needs to her lost list of daily chores and activities.
But if she is actually very tired and stressed from a long day of work, then it's the man that's being selfish by adding his physical needs to her lost list of daily chores and activities.
But if she is actually very tired and stressed from a long day of work, then it's the man that's being selfish by adding his physical needs to her lost list of daily chores and activities.
If the woman thinks of sex as a "CHORE" then that is another turnoff. Also a sign to start looking for a new girlfriend/SO.
I dont care how physically, emotionally, mentally tired I am, I will never ever ever look at sex as being a "chore".
Well if it is being selfish, then the partner wanting the sex is also being selfish for not finding out why their partner is too tired to have sex. Men are problem solvers, and they should see if there is any way to improve the situation for their partner. It could be stress from all sorts of non-relationship factors like work, school and/or raising their family. Sometimes, I don't think that the tired person realizes why they aren't in the mood for sex anymore since they are in the middle of their busy crazy life.
Anyway, a guy never forgets when it's time to have sex since your parts are all on the outside. lol
Honestly.
I don't believe this.
You cannot pin this on the partner that is trying. That's not fair.
To be honest...I think the woman ALWAYS should show feather fluff for the man. I mean, they are usually the ones that are tired, stressed or on the monthly cycle.
I cannot believe there are any men that would say they turned down sex for being tired or stressed. When I am tired I tell her she can ride me all night long if she wants. That turns her on even more. I NEVER turn her away.
I have been turned down and that ticks me off because I am all geared up for it and then there is this let down. So I just assume not start the launch sequence clock.
I don't see how someone can enjoy sex when their partner isn't into it -- unless you view your partner as merely a life support system for an orifice.
Either we're both into it or it ain't happening. I, certainly, don't want a partner who is just going through the motions.
If your partner is not interested, you need to find out why and fix it. If she's too tired, help around the house more, go to bed earlier, etc, etc, etc...
If the woman thinks of sex as a "CHORE" then that is another turnoff. Also a sign to start looking for a new girlfriend/SO.
I dont care how physically, emotionally, mentally tired I am, I will never ever ever look at sex as being a "chore".
Having SEX is a chore and that's why prostitutes charge for their services. Making love with someone you love is NOT.
Clearly you and I would be highly incompatible as a couple.
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