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So I recently met a guy in an acting class a few weeks ago. He's not an actor but a girl in the class asked him if he would be interested in auditioning for a play and he said yes, so he's only here for the current play. He was immediately very friendly to me and before we started talking, I noticed him looking at me quite a few times.
Okay, so fast forward to now:
over the past couple weeks, I have become so confused over him. I know for a fact he's not straight but I'm not sure if he's gay or bi. He's been with both girls and guys, I know this for a fact.
If I knew he was straight, then I would say he was into me because that's how he's acting! But at the same time, I have never really interacted with a gay guy so I don't know if this is how they act to girls normally.
Every single class ever since we met, he is ALWAYS the one to come up to me and talk to me. I have never once talked to him first or even made eye contact with him until he came up to me and started talking. To be honest, I pretty much give him the cold shoulder until he interacts with me first. Plus, once he does come over and starts talking to him, he makes himself comfortable. He'll either sit down, or lean against something - like he's not going to leave after a few words.
He flirts with me, physically. Nothing extremely overt like ass grabbing or anything but he always comes close to me when he talks to me (obviously ignoring his and my personal bubble LOL) and he has done the little "I bump you, you bump me, I bump you again, you bump me again, etc.) thing with me on stage.
We work out at the same gym and one day recently, he asked me at the beginning of class if I was going to the gym and I said yes and he said he was too. I asked him if he was taking the cycling class that afternoon and he said he wasn't planning on it but he'd take it with me. During the cycling class, I noticed out of the corner of my eye that he would randomly look at me. When we were stretching our arms, he would hit me with his hand while staring at me. When we stretched the other way, I tried to hit him back but my arm was too short LOL. We then went to the weight room together and he paid a good deal of attention to me even though we were both working out.
During the acting class, he always comes near me when the chance is there. I mean I can't help but notice how we always seem to be - when one of us is not on stage - together. It just happens!
So here's come the sticky part. Ever since I met him, I've really started to like him. I've heard that gay guys are very flirtatious with their female friends but the thing is that me and this guy aren't technically "friends" since we haven't known each other that long. Plus, he's acted like this from the moment we met.
If he is gay then I'm confused to why he's acting this way to me. Is he trying to become my friend?
However, the chance that he's bisexual is there...
I'm just confused and a little frustrated. I want to slip the question of "gay or bi" into a conversation but I don't know how and even worse, I'm afraid to know the answer.
Why don't you ask him out? If he's gay, he'll tell you. If a guy is not obviously gay, I don't see why he'd be upset at your asking him out, especially since it's known he's also gone with girls. Besides, gay people go through this dilemma all the time ... is he, isn't he, will I get beaten up for asking ...
Does the apple have to hit you in the head? Come on.....you already know whether he's gay, bi or straight. You said "you know for a fact he's been with both girls and guys". DUH...that makes him bi. As for the other actions, he's either very immature, lonely or he's flirting.
Location: Gilbert, Arizona... a suburb of metro Phoenix in the East Valley
154 posts, read 287,783 times
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I'd say he's bi and it appears to me you have little problem with that - very cool for you. Too bad many other girls are not as open-minded as you. It gives me hope that I'll continue to meet more like you in this world, AC - hopefully, a bit older, though... lol. Go for it and just ask him out as others have said... the worst thing that could happen is he'll say no... and I'm sure you could deal with that minor ding to your self-confidence. Kudos for seeing him as a person... and not allowing orientation to be a barrier. You are quite mature in that aspect... well beyond your years and many other women I've met who tend to be waaaaay more judgmental when they find out you're... bi. [gasp][shock][horror]
whyyyy do gay guys feel the need to flirt with girls? I'm just curious, because i liked a guy, and he told me he was gay after i told him I liked him, but then he continued to flirt with me until he moved away.
I'm just confused and a little frustrated. I want to slip the question of "gay or bi" into a conversation but I don't know how and even worse, I'm afraid to know the answer.
If a man likes you and wants to pursue you, trust me, you'll know about it. Sounds like you are wasting a LOT of time analyzing this guy. I think you would be better off putting your energy into going places where other men can find you -- men who are serious about taking you on a date.
I'd say he's bi and it appears to me you have little problem with that - very cool for you. Too bad many other girls are not as open-minded as you. It gives me hope that I'll continue to meet more like you in this world, AC - hopefully, a bit older, though... lol. Go for it and just ask him out as others have said... the worst thing that could happen is he'll say no... and I'm sure you could deal with that minor ding to your self-confidence. Kudos for seeing him as a person... and not allowing orientation to be a barrier. You are quite mature in that aspect... well beyond your years and many other women I've met who tend to be waaaaay more judgmental when they find out you're... bi. [gasp][shock][horror]
I like him as a person all around. I mean it's all there. Physical attraction, great personality, and we're both really comfortable around each other.
I guess I've just never even thought about being bothered if a guy I liked was bisexual because as long as he isn't running around with a bunch of guys/girls/anyone then it really doesn't involve me.
If a man likes you and wants to pursue you, trust me, you'll know about it. Sounds like you are wasting a LOT of time analyzing this guy. I think you would be better off putting your energy into going places where other men can find you -- men who are serious about taking you on a date.
See... that's just it. He IS pursuing me. It's not a straight up "hey babe, let's go out" but he's the one who is making the effort - not me. He obviously has some interest in me - I'm just not sure what type.
See... that's just it. He IS pursuing me. It's not a straight up "hey babe, let's go out" but he's the one who is making the effort - not me. He obviously has some interest in me - I'm just not sure what type.
Either he has asked you out on a date, or he has not. It's that simple. I do not know why some women choose to make things more complicated.
W.
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