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i think paul mccartney is a paperback writer, living down a long and winding road eventually to penny lane, to a place called juniors farm. he's married to jojo, 64 yrs old, and has a raccoon named rocky.
Love it!! Lol. During the SuperBowl halftime a couple years ago when McCartney played during the halftime, my 22 year-old daughter who was watching it with me said, "I've never heard that song before, but I kind of like it"...he was singing, 'Hey Jude'. sigh
i think paul mccartney is a paperback writer, living down a long and winding road eventually to penny lane, to a place called juniors farm. he's married to jojo, 64 yrs old, and has a raccoon named rocky.
EXCELLENT!!
I think the proverbial question has been answered too...'Jojo' doesn't need him and she won't feed him, and is off dancing with the stars, now he's a real nowhere man...or is he the Walrus, Coo-Coo-ka-Choo?
Location: Lots of sun and palm trees with occasional hurricane :)
8,293 posts, read 16,145,864 times
Reputation: 7018
Wow Mainebrokerman. You're correct in your analysis but when I said it was too late I didn't mean I can't change things if I wanted/needed to. Just that it's too late in the sense that we are together and that's how it is. Is it forever? I don't know but it's not because of the age difference.
You do end up finding out some things given time. I also think it's very different when you both start out from scratch with a good foundation and have learned about each other enough to know you want to grow together. Even those don't necessarily work out afterwards.
After you've done a lot of things in life and are fairly stable financially, emotionally, and can stand on your own two feet, it's a different ballgame. Then you are together because you want to be, because it works for you. I have no grand ideas in this relationship. If it gets to the point where it is not good anymore, well then.....If I do separate, maybe I'll find my perfect match someday, maybe I won't. I'm not dwelling on the negative and the what ifs.
I forgot to mention a couple of things, good ones. My "husband" is the handiest man I have ever met, he is extremely hard-working and willing, he puts up with my mother, Yesses her to death although he has no idea what she was even saying (because he's not really listening), loves the pets.
The most negative part of our relationship: We are both Capricorns!!!
As I read these posts, you have to ask, where is the creative thinking I see far more of what I generally would term profiling. That is these standard in the box stereotypical approaches to setting ground rules for what works in relationships. Some seem to be saying, age is such a huge factor.
That practice varies greatly in different cultures. Some use the one-half plus seven rule. The man always being older. So if he is 40, the wife should be 27. That may work well in a patriarchal type society but I doubt it is a sure fire success formula in a country like the USA.
I would look more at a formula like this:
1. Are you a morning or night person? Depending on the situation an area for much conflict.
2. Are you a people person or do you prefer to be more of a loner or independent person who needs much personal time during a day.
3. How do you make and use money? Within every relationship a prime source of conflict.
4. Does your habits, beliefs, methods, skills, education, intelligence level, maturity level, etc match well with your SO?
5. How tolerant are you?? A subset of that is how well do you share??
6. How much of a control freak are you???
7. What do you really value???
8. Do you have a set of pre-set standard rules???
9. How do you problem solve, are you a leader or follower??
10. What are your personal characteristics, strengths, weaknesses???
Way, way down that list, will be the subject of age, if you can dial in those other ten conditions. In fact persons very close in age, especially at younger ages can run into situations where they lack skills, experience or knowledge that can avoid many problems before they occur. It is that huge set of variables and all the possible permutations and how they play out that is more important.
I had a theory that our favorite young fellow would have been very well served in Oil City by the age formula. That puts her age at ~36 -38. Roundly poo-poo'd as the real alternative. Many more immature males will benefit from a relationship with older females. Maybe it should not be targeted to lead to marriage. Many factors could be open to debate.
The major flaw as I have noted over the years is this general idea of a "Profile". The SO MUST meet a set of criterion. certain occupation, certan social standing, certain physical characteristic, certain age, etc, etc. So very true with females in particular the subject of height. For men, many are way to hung up on female body types and appearance. The idea of a Trophy SO has much appeal both ways.
There was one very interesting experiment. They took this shorter dude, looked a bit like Paul Simon, maybe 5' - 6". Put him a line up with like 6 other males. They were all in about the same age. Same race. A group of women were asked to pick their choices for a SO from this lineup using apperance and a list of achievements, capablies and general information about the men. In other words a sort of Profile.
If they made the men to seem to be sort of equal in desirability from other aspects, the taller males where always selected first. Even if they started to make the taller men a bit on the ugly side and give them some negatives the trend continued. The lil dude was always last.
In order to give him some action, they started to increase his positive factors in relation to the other males to the sky. Like he was a doctor, big house, had a nice car, airplane, super lifestyle. In order to make him always first they had to make him be also a super chef.
If you had introduced varying ages, it probably would have clearly shown a bias for just a few factors. Things like age, height, status, wealth, etc.
If the tables are turned and men do the selecting, beauty and physical appearance become just about the only criterion. Age as it increases can become a huge negative within a controlled experiment.
You can see this in action in real life. Take 10 available males of about the same occupation but varying height and age into a social situation with available females and the same very heavy weight factors will be well in play, especially in the early selections.
When viewed from the other men's point of view, who know the capabiliies of all other men involved, the losers of the bunch with get far, far to much attention if they meet some criterion. Be tall, a loud mouth and throw a lot of bull and you too can be a babe magnet. Many books on the subject but the jist is always dress a particular way, exhibit certain behavior and be able to create an illusion to mask your weaknesses. The assumption being the selection criterion will follow a certain form. Work on the details later.
My theory has always been, forget a profile, target a objective set of criterion to find the ones better suited for your particular needs, desires and situations. Expect it to change as one changes during their lifetime. In that process age has a weighting, but it is well down the list.
There is a game where you are presented with a pattern of dots. The trick is to connect all the dots only using so many straight lines. The dots are arranged in a box type pattern. Most peeps will fail at the solution. They will draw a mental box around the pattern of dots and seek a solution only within those confines. The correct answer is only by drawing a line way, way out to the right and then bring another line back at like a 30 degree angle and finishing up wihin the box. The classic example of thinking outside the box.
In SO selection IMHO opinion very little thinking outside the box occurs. It is more a standardized game of preset rules and conditions with much peer and social pressure to match a predetermined profile of what can work.
It is no wonder that many relationships fail and the divorce rates are so high. The failures occurred early in the game.
The man with the foolish grin is keeping perfectly still,
But nobody wants to know him,
They can see that he's just a fool,
And he never gives an answer,
But the fool on the hill
Sees the sun going down,
And the eyes in his head,
See the world spinning 'round.
Location: Lots of sun and palm trees with occasional hurricane :)
8,293 posts, read 16,145,864 times
Reputation: 7018
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cosmic
As I read these posts, you have to ask, where is the creative thinking I see far more of what I generally would term profiling. That is these standard in the box stereotypical approaches to setting ground rules for what works in relationships. Some seem to be saying, age is such a huge factor.
That practice varies greatly in different cultures. Some use the one-half plus seven rule. The man always being older. So if he is 40, the wife should be 27. That may work well in a patriarchal type society but I doubt it is a sure fire success formula in a country like the USA.
I would look more at a formula like this:
1. Are you a morning or night person? Depending on the situation an area for much conflict.
2. Are you a people person or do you prefer to be more of a loner or independent person who needs much personal time during a day.
3. How do you make and use money? Within every relationship a prime source of conflict.
4. Does your habits, beliefs, methods, skills, education, intelligence level, maturity level, etc match well with your SO?
5. How tolerant are you?? A subset of that is how well do you share??
6. How much of a control freak are you???
7. What do you really value???
8. Do you have a set of pre-set standard rules???
9. How do you problem solve, are you a leader or follower??
10. What are your personal characteristics, strengths, weaknesses???
Way, way down that list, will be the subject of age, if you can dial in those other ten conditions. In fact persons very close in age, especially at younger ages can run into situations where they lack skills, experience or knowledge that can avoid many problems before they occur. It is that huge set of variables and all the possible permutations and how they play out that is more important.
I had a theory that our favorite young fellow would have been very well served in Oil City by the age formula. That puts her age at ~36 -38. Roundly poo-poo'd as the real alternative. Many more immature males will benefit from a relationship with older females. Maybe it should not be targeted to lead to marriage. Many factors could be open to debate.
The major flaw as I have noted over the years is this general idea of a "Profile". The SO MUST meet a set of criterion. certain occupation, certan social standing, certain physical characteristic, certain age, etc, etc. So very true with females in particular the subject of height. For men, many are way to hung up on female body types and appearance. The idea of a Trophy SO has much appeal both ways.
There was one very interesting experiment. They took this shorter dude, looked a bit like Paul Simon, maybe 5' - 6". Put him a line up with like 6 other males. They were all in about the same age. Same race. A group of women were asked to pick their choices for a SO from this lineup using apperance and a list of achievements, capablies and general information about the men. In other words a sort of Profile.
If they made the men to seem to be sort of equal in desirability from other aspects, the taller males where always selected first. Even if they started to make the taller men a bit on the ugly side and give them some negatives the trend continued. The lil dude was always last.
In order to give him some action, they started to increase his positive factors in relation to the other males to the sky. Like he was a doctor, big house, had a nice car, airplane, super lifestyle. In order to make him always first they had to make him be also a super chef.
If you had introduced varying ages, it probably would have clearly shown a bias for just a few factors. Things like age, height, status, wealth, etc.
If the tables are turned and men do the selecting, beauty and physical appearance become just about the only criterion. Age as it increases can become a huge negative within a controlled experiment.
You can see this in action in real life. Take 10 available males of about the same occupation but varying height and age into a social situation with available females and the same very heavy weight factors will be well in play, especially in the early selections.
When viewed from the other men's point of view, who know the capabiliies of all other men involved, the losers of the bunch with get far, far to much attention if they meet some criterion. Be tall, a loud mouth and throw a lot of bull and you too can be a babe magnet. Many books on the subject but the jist is always dress a particular way, exhibit certain behavior and be able to create an illusion to mask your weaknesses. The assumption being the selection criterion will follow a certain form. Work on the details later.
My theory has always been, forget a profile, target a objective set of criterion to find the ones better suited for your particular needs, desires and situations. Expect it to change as one changes during their lifetime. In that process age has a weighting, but it is well down the list.
There is a game where you are presented with a pattern of dots. The trick is to connect all the dots only using so many straight lines. The dots are arranged in a box type pattern. Most peeps will fail at the solution. They will draw a mental box around the pattern of dots and seek a solution only within those confines. The correct answer is only by drawing a line way, way out to the right and then bring another line back at like a 30 degree angle and finishing up wihin the box. The classic example of thinking outside the box.
In SO selection IMHO opinion very little thinking outside the box occurs. It is more a standardized game of preset rules and conditions with much peer and social pressure to match a predetermined profile of what can work.
It is no wonder that many relationships fail and the divorce rates are so high. The failures occurred early in the game.
This is absolutely EXCELLENT!!!!!!
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So where are the flaws in the thinking here????
