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Mr.Cat if you are tempted to tell the wife of this man who is cheating with your wife, I recommend that you don't. Its your life and you may choose to ignore my advice, it won't hurt me in any way. But if you leave it alone, your wife won't have any excuse to blame you for her misery. If she's going to blame someone it will be him, since he might not want to leave his wife for her. She will come to realize how foolish she was all on her own. And you should not be held accountable for anymore of her indiscretions or foolishness.
If anybody should tell his wife, it should be him. He needs to have the balls to confront his wife and tell her himself, not your wife, not you. If he decides he's not that strong, then you need not concern yourself with them any longer. Its their business and if they can't make it work, you shouldn't "help" them. If you were to tell the wife, it would be too easy for him. He needs to confront her, not get a free pass . If he doesn't then your wife will know how weak he is and how he can't solve his own problems.
Either way. Move on. Let this be a lesson for her and make sure that the judge knows she cheated on you. This will help you in court.
You know, I have told this to most of my inmediate family and most of them blame me for it. the said I shouldn't had been working the long hours I do to make ends meet and take some time for her. I basically had no mercy or consoling words from some of my personal friends.
Meanwhile on this forum, most of the best wishes to comforting words have come from you guys. This means a lot to me and you guys don't even know me and then it feels so good to read them.
Thank's you all.
You know, I have told this to most of my inmediate family and most of them blame me for it. the said I shouldn't had been working the long hours I do to make ends meet and take some time for her. I basically had no mercy or consoling words from some of my personal friends.
Meanwhile on this forum, most of the best wishes to comforting words have come from you guys. This means a lot to me and you guys don't even know me and then it feels so good to read them.
Thank's you all.
Hmmm, well they do know you better than we do. Still, if your long hours were the problem, it was up to your wife to discuss this with you and give you some sort of warning before it got to this stage. You know, like, honey, you're working such long hours and you don't spend time with me and the kids. I just don't know how much longer I can take this, blah blah blah. If she never told you it was an issue, you had no way of knowing and therefore got blindsided.
I still hope she pulls her head out of her a$$ and realizes that the grass isn't always greener...
Hmmm, well they do know you better than we do. Still, if your long hours were the problem, it was up to your wife to discuss this with you and give you some sort of warning before it got to this stage. You know, like, honey, you're working such long hours and you don't spend time with me and the kids. I just don't know how much longer I can take this, blah blah blah. If she never told you it was an issue, you had no way of knowing and therefore got blindsided.
I still hope she pulls her head out of her a$$ and realizes that the grass isn't always greener...
Good post. My Mom begged my Dad to take a job with less hours even if it meant less money - he wouldn't, and she ended up leaving him. Such a shame. Of course now she's a lesbian, so that might have had something to do with it too.
Mr Cat, did your wife ask you to work less hours, or tell you that you weren't home enough? Maybe that's something you could talk to her about?
Either way, I'm still sorry for what you are going through.
Good post. My Mom begged my Dad to take a job with less hours even if it meant less money - he wouldn't, and she ended up leaving him. Such a shame. Of course now she's a lesbian, so that might have had something to do with it too.
Mr Cat, did your wife ask you to work less hours, or tell you that you weren't home enough? Maybe that's something you could talk to her about?
Either way, I'm still sorry for what you are going through.
It was a no win situation, if I worked less hours means less money and then financial issues. If I worked more hours then relationship issues. Damned if I do and damned if I don't.
I thought I was the only person who read that part....everyone else keeps saying that there is still time and its not over yet...but the wife said it was over so how much can Mr Cat really do? Besides staying sane and worrying about getting himself together?
You must be the only man on Earth who has never met a woman who never says anything she doesn't literally mean or exaggerates just to be confrontational. The rest of us have not been so fortunate as to live in such a female-drama-free world. He needs to find out whether or not she meant what she said and said what she meant. That's what counseling is for. If the answer is yes, well then yeah, this looks to be over. If the answer is no, then maybe he can save his marriage and his family.
You know, I have told this to most of my inmediate family and most of them blame me for it. the said I shouldn't had been working the long hours I do to make ends meet and take some time for her. I basically had no mercy or consoling words from some of my personal friends.
Meanwhile on this forum, most of the best wishes to comforting words have come from you guys. This means a lot to me and you guys don't even know me and then it feels so good to read them.
Thank's you all.
Many of us really do care Mr. Cat - and are praying for you.
Sometimes our extended families let us down when we need them most - it can be quite a shock when it happens. Believe it or not, they probably think their critique of your situation is "helpful". Well, try to give them the benefit of the doubt, they probably mean well anyway.
How did the talk with your wife go last night? You still haven't mentioned whether or not she will try some marriage counseling with you - I sure hope you guys will.
You must be the only man on Earth who has never met a woman who never says anything she doesn't literally mean or exaggerates just to be confrontational. The rest of us have not been so fortunate as to live in such a female-drama-free world. He needs to find out whether or not she meant what she said and said what she meant. That's what counseling is for. If the answer is yes, well then yeah, this looks to be over. If the answer is no, then maybe he can save his marriage and his family.
LMAO I am FEMALE.........She said it she meant it.......period!! Besides why should Mr Cat have to do all the work of chasing her down making her change her mind. She obviously couldnt or wont try and talk and work things out to begin with she rather drop a bomb in his lap and now HE needs to fix it? No She made her decisions MR Cat just worry about your kids and yourself....she will do what she pleases either way.
LMAO I am FEMALE.........She said it she meant it.......period!! Besides why should Mr Cat have to do all the work of chasing her down making her change her mind. She obviously couldnt or wont try and talk and work things out to begin with she rather drop a bomb in his lap and now HE needs to fix it? No She made her decisions MR Cat just worry about your kids and yourself....she will do what she pleases either way.
So it turns out I'm right, you've never been in a relationship with a woman. (Or maybe you have, I suppose you never know, this is the 21st century after all.) "She said it she meant it" is true sometimes. But as plenty of men who've "been there done that" can tell you, oftentimes it's not. You're telling him to let his family fall apart on the ASSUMPTION that if she said it she meant it. That's pretty bold. And reckless too. He has an obligation to his children to find out if that ASSUMPTION is correct or not.
It's dismaying how many people are telling this man to just let his family fall apart without at least trying to salvage it.
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