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OK, it's Friday night, you went out to the bar and met your dream man/woman. You had a long day, and you're fearful you're going to peter out by midnite. And here's this woman/man who looks like he just woke up, full of energy, puzzled by your occasional yawns. Your feelings grow stronger, conversation after conversation, and then he wakes you up with a confession: I've been working the night shift for many years, I love working all night and sleeping all day. For how many of you, would this present an obstacle to investing any more time and energy with this person?
Nope.
I worked 9-5 until six months ago, my guy works nights with a schedule that has shifting days off. It was never a problem. In fact, I was afraid it might be, but he just said, "We'll make it work."
And so we did. Where there's a will, there's a way. If there's an evening event (concert, wedding, etc.), he'll take a night off. When I was in a job that had a lot of vacation time, sometimes I'd take a day off to do something during the day with him.
However, it has been much easier since I started freelancing. When he has days off during the week, I can exercise "executive privilege" and plan a day off to do something with him, like yesterday (Friday) we went to the local arboretum. It's great because we can go places when there are no crowds.
It doesn't hurt that I'm a natural owl, either. I have no trouble staying up until 4:00 a.m., so if he's up and wants to watch a movie, it's no trouble.
I've been married for 10 years. We've only had about 6 months on the same shift. It is daunting, but it can be done. We definitely enjoy the weekends we have together. Another two years and we'll be on the same shift, I can't wait!
It depends on how well the person deals with night shift. People working vampire hours are more likely to develop high blood pressure, gain weight, have sleep issues and even be as dire as heart problems and diabetes.
Personally, I wouldn't, having tried and failed. My circadian clock is just too delicate to flip back and forth between hours to accommodate someone who worked an opposite schedule. I became physically ill.
my DH was a night shift worker for many years of our marriage. probably around 7 years? and i worked days. there was an overlap, and it worked out fine.
It depends on how well the person deals with night shift. People working vampire hours are more likely to develop high blood pressure, gain weight, have sleep issues and even be as dire as heart problems and diabetes.
Personally, I wouldn't, having tried and failed. My circadian clock is just too delicate to flip back and forth between hours to accommodate someone who worked an opposite schedule. I became physically ill.
I could easily get by with four hours of sleep--
However, if I work 9 p.m. to 5 a.m. (about what I work now) and she worked 9 a.m. to 5 p.m., then there are two 4-hour time windows, minus the commuting time. Those are the two time periods you have to interact with each other, and you can sleep while the other person is at work.
My wife and I are in this situation. I work nights, she is days. I work 10 hr shifts and have a one hour commute, so I'm gone 12 hrs a day. 2pm to 2am. She is gone from 9 am to 630 pm. We do not have any days off together.
I prefer working nights. Actually I even handle graves better then early morning shifts. The other shift at my work would require me to be gone from 4 am to 4pm, which means I would be hitting the sack at 730 pm. So either way, we are screwed. Basically I see her for minute when she says by in the morning. We do get two evenings together, which is about 4 hrs each. So we have a total of 8 hrs a wk. One of the nights we use to grocery shop. So yeah we don't see each other much and it is very hard on our relationship.
Previously though it was even worse for us. I was out of town 4 or 5 days a week each and every week. Yeah, that was real good for the marraige
However, if I work 9 p.m. to 5 a.m. (about what I work now) and she worked 9 a.m. to 5 p.m., then there are two 4-hour time windows, minus the commuting time. Those are the two time periods you have to interact with each other, and you can sleep while the other person is at work.
*shrug* It's going to be different for everyone; not all schedules flow so well or are even consistent. And one must take into account days off together, when the dayshifter is raring to go do something and the night shifter is needing to sleep; or vacations when it takes a couple of days for the ns to sync to day hours and then face having to switch back to owl hours after a week. It's a difficult life that not all can deal with. My mate and I are on the same shift; we even have the same days off now; which makes the schedule one we can survive.
I wouldn't recommend or dis-recommend the schedule to any couple, merely saying that they'll have to see if they can make it work, or find ways to cope if it's a situation that can't be readily changed.
My husband works 3rd shift, and I work day shift.
Since dayshift is not an option for him right now, this was the best shift for him to work, if he wanted to spend time with his family.
It works out ok for us.
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