Why do I fall so easily..? (dating, marriage, men, love)

[Chanteuse d' Opéra]

For guys? Like I play hard to get & the chase is on but then all of a sudden, after they prove how interested they are & I let on that I'm interested in them, it's like they leave...I'm not one to "give up" the goods so easily (still a virgin), Thankfully, I'm not waiting for marriage though...just for a guy that I think is "worth it"...but I wonder why I'm more likely to get emotionally attached so early...? For instance, I kissed my ex & it took me like 5 months to get over him...& kissing is all we did...imagine if I had sex w/ him...

It's like that song: "I wanna kiss you, but if I do then I might miss you babe..." Can anyone help?

PS-I only "play" "hard to get", just in terms of sex... I give guys my # if they ask me...I'm just not gonna make the 1st move...

I'm not the clingy type either...if anything, they (guys) usually call me & bother me...like this one dude who I went on a date w/ Monday night...he called me to see if I would hang out w/ him tonight...I'm not really "feelin" him though...

[artsyguy]

It's a game to the guy too. Many adults are still children in their minds. They don't understand that dating and relationships are about care, love, bonding, fun, laughter, two way conversations, scheduling activities to do together, support, fairness, the overall big picture, etc. Children in junior high or high school don't see that big picture, it's all a game, a lot of adults never outgrow that and mature.

[Chanteuse d' Opéra]

Originally Posted by artsyguy

It's a game to the guy too. Many adults are still children in their minds. They don't understand that dating and relationships are about care, love, bonding, fun, laughter, two way conversations, scheduling activities to do together, support, fairness, the overall big picture, etc. Children in junior high or high school don't see that big picture, it's all a game, a lot of adults never outgrow that and mature.

True & I'm not the type to play games either, it's just I wonder why I get so emotionally attached so easily...it seems like some people don't at all...but then maybe that goes back to the whole "heart on my sleeve" thing...

[artsyguy]

I'm similar to you, that is why I stay single and don't venture out with too many folks, too many cold blooded people out there that don't understand that it is wrong to play with peoples emotions or minds.

Originally Posted by Chanteuse d' Opéra

True & I'm not the type to play games either, it's just I wonder why I get so emotionally attached so easily...it seems like some people don't at all...but then maybe that goes back to the whole "heart on my sleeve" thing...

[Chanteuse d' Opéra]

Originally Posted by artsyguy

I'm similar to you, that is why I stay single and don't venture out with too many folks, too many cold blooded people out there that don't understand that it is wrong to play with peoples emotions or minds.

I don't think that's a good idea, I like to socialize w/ people & I'm not too picky of a girl, I guess I just have an idealistic nature (ie-giving others the benefit of the doubt all too often, believing there is a good person in everyone, too trusting)

[The Man in SATX]

Slow down tonto... everyone in life is always running 100 miles an hour.. your Knight in shining armor will show up sooner or later... just make sure it is him.. and not every dude you meet.. not everyone is good for you.. take your time to get to know them and then if you feel he is the right fit for you and you are the right fit for him.. sprint to the finish line..

Why is everyone always in a rush to marry?

[Chanteuse d' Opéra]

Originally Posted by The Man in SATX

Slow down tonto... everyone in life is always running 100 miles an hour.. your Knight in shining armor will show up sooner or later... just make sure it is him.. and not every dude you meet.. not everyone is good for you.. take your time to get to know them and then if you feel he is the right fit for you and you are the right fit for him.. sprint to the finish line..

Why is everyone always in a rush to marry?

I'm in no rush to marry, this was just an inquiry...

[Dbl-r]

Hmmmmm......let see, your still a virgin and all you have done is kiss and tell. So, the extent of passion has yet to really be measured and you want that terribly it sounds like. why would you attach yourself so easily? Now on the flip side, the men you go out with probably have knowledge of your virginity or by experience can tell, feel and know something is outta place. They leave you for whatever reason, yet their sex lives have gone full circle prior to you, where-as yours has not......your attachment is cute, its an attachment of a teenager foolishly in love it sounds like. Sex will either worsen the problem for you or be your cure. Get yourself a good healthy dose and report back in 6 weeks...

[The Man in SATX]

Okay then lets repharse that and take it to another level.. Why play at all??

Meet someone with no games in mind.. get to know them.. and you let them get to know you.. If you are constantly falling that easily.. your thought process is going a lot faster then your intended target.. which is why I am saying to slow down..

what came first the horse or the cart? Obviously you need to build the cart to your specifications and then get the horse.. slow it down!

[artsyguy]

Yes slow it down. You don't have to be a hermit like I am at times but slow it down.